The 0/0 Experience

Shelter 101 Project – Seri Permata Part 2 – 29th June – well, I have finally brought my Pa to view the unit. He was not that super overly excited, but at least he was keen. In the end, I have made the important decision to make the purchase :) Then, came the waiting period from 1st July till 8th July because earlier on, the agent have informed the owner that we did not want to buy, now that we have changed our mind and we intend to buy, as the owner is coming back to KL over the weekend, the agent will meet up with him to finalize everything. Throughout the 8 waiting days, I did not sit down in vain – instead, I gather more & detailed information on housing loans, equipping myself on the many terms of the transition & processes, familiarize myself with the available rates, calling up the condo’s maintenance office to do a background check on the owner’s name and any outstanding maintenance/parking/water bills that needs to be settle etc.

Then on the 9th July – the agent drop me a sms on 10.45am – Hi, the owner’s lawyer had check on that apartment detail – according to him the title is under bumi quota & most probably will have difficulty in terms of transfer, tq. This entire sentence has brought my whole world crashing down so badly at that moment. I felt like I just fell off a high building or being steam-rolled over by a bullet train :( So much of effort, persuasion, prayers was put in, so near to the finishing line, so many obstacles that I went through which I thought that I have prevailed. I guess the high hopes or expectations that the purchase will materialize in the end and when it did not, it really crushed me. I was like – what the…if this was meant not to be in the first place, I rather that I hear that it was sold off or it was a bumi unit earlier on in the first place…than now. Why now? It gives me the false hope. It really hit me very badly. I swallowed the bitter disappointment, I wiped tears off my face, I was so de-motivated the whole day, the whole week. I was stressed, distracted and I’ve totally lost ALL of my motivation. I was not being myself. It was hard, much harder than I thought it would be to accept and digest the news. I feel so cheated, let down & played out. The sadness comes in waves, repeatedly, consistently. I hit an emotional wall and only the past 2 days that I am slowly emerged from my train wreck. Knowing that I cannot change anything. I accepted that I should stop hating the circumstances that I’m in and just take a few baby steps in the right direction to calm my emotions and to compose myself.

At the moment, I am taking a break and cutting all ties & links with this project. The worst moment for this year.