2014: GOD HAS MORE

Dear GOD,

As 2013 draws to an end today, and we will be ushering in another new year of 2014 tonight - I would like to write u a letter. A praying, confession and self-expressive letter; as a matter of fact.

I pray that first and foremost, that you will strip off my Bitterness. GOD, you have no idea how bitter I was this year regarding the Shelter 101 Project. I have never felt so bitter and disappointed like this before. It was such a major blow for me personally. I was just this close to the finish line and you have to spoil everything for me. But Pastor Sean gave the church's congregation a very powerful sermon on last week Sunday morning. Thus, as time goes by, bit by bit I am learning to let it go. It has not been easy as it was an area or topic in my life that I’ve struggle with. I feel that time is not on my side. I feel my Mama Ham deserves so much more. She is already 60 years old this year. I want her to spend her golden years in a better environment. I don't want her to wait anymore longer. I want her to enjoy more. GOD, you are in the Healing & Prospering business. You want to Heal, Bless and Prosper your children. Once we are taken care of, be it our needs or wants, you will use us as a blessing to others and to build the kingdom of GOD. I understand this concept now. Use us and through us. I should not limit to what you can do. You can and you will do more for me…can I have a little bit more then for 2014? :)

GOD, every year towards the end of the year – I will always write that I will try to do this, I will try to do that, I will armor myself for the challenges ahead, I will try to be a better person, I will improve myself on this…blah…blah…blah…this year – I am going back to the basics, I am coming back down to earth. GOD, you are an Awesome GOD, an Amazing GOD, a Good GOD, you have provide for my family every day, you have blessed my family consistently, you fill up my cup and you are such a real joy giver. You are strong, I am weak. I am putting all of my burdens, my bitterness, my troubles, my problems on the table and I want to trade them off with your blessings for me. I want to align myself to you GOD so I will be in the right position to receive your many blessings :) Please continue to be the center of my life, continue to rain down on me with your thoughts, ideas, concepts, visions & philosophies on how to make me to be a better person – more positive, more hopeful, more giving, more peaceful, more joyful, more passionate, more forgiving, more humble, more grateful, more genuine, more sincere, more resourceful, more business acumen-oriented, more street-smart, more intelligent, more wiser, more compassionate, more loving, more think-outside-of the box, more thoughtful, more helpful, more faithful, more believing & thrusting in YOU, more relax – wah…I also ask for a lot of MOREs; greedy me :) than the year before. Use me to touch the people, to build communities and to build nations.

2014 – is going to be like an epic year for me – epic in terms of the challenges, problems, troubles & people that I will face along the way and I am very sure that I will tumble many times along the way as well. GOD, if I do – please help me to pick myself up again. Please give me your GOD-like strength, courage, and love to face the obstacles. Please, don't let 2013 be a repeat. As I look back to 2013, it’s still all a blur to me. Finally, I am here. At the end of the 365 days. I’m absolutely happy that I have made it. I failed big time. Work and on the personal front. On a scale from 1 – 10, I give it a 2. It was so tiring for me. I feel so exhausted. I collapse and I could barely stand up again. And the most frustration part is that - I have no answers to all of the whys. It didn’t turn out exactly as I have hoped. Of course, there were also a few unexpected delights along the way as well. 2013 was a growing up process for me where I have learned so much about myself. It was a real thinking process for me. I make mistakes defensively, I lost easy passes, late & slow in the decisions-making processes, thinking late, finished things off too ridiculously, mis-manage people & situations…but, whether I realized it or not, it was a character-building process for me throughout the entire year. I hope that I emerge better after this. It has been such a long marathon-like run for me and while I am grateful for what I have achieved, what I have not achieved yet…I do feel sore all over too. But come 2014 tomorrow – I know that I also have to jump right back into the fast paced, hectic way of life. I am going to make every day in 2014 count, more fulfilled and making connections with people from my past, present and future :)

GOD – you are going to be my corner man, you will pack my parachute – Thank You for everything. I have always said – to be where I am today, to have what I have today – it’s a MIRACLE. THANK YOU GOD, PRAISE TO THE LORD, BLESS YOU GOD! I am one lucky rascal. GLORY TO GOD.

Blessed 2014, Let’s Get to the Finish Line,
- the underdog, rascal, misfit J___ -