Sunday, September 08, 2019

RULE 14: Keep Your Home Life At Home

When you go to work, you’re supposed to be focused on work. To get on with your job. If you spend your time focused on what goes on at home, people will assume you’re not really committed to your job. And they’ll probably be right, if the truth be told.

Think of the people you’ve worked with in the past—or indeed now—who spent their time chatting about their families, relating details of their social life, complaining about their mother, fantasizing about their vacations, discussing their latest shopping trip, whining about health care, and telling you about their plans for Christmas. How many of them would you describe as passionate and committed to their work? Probably none of them.

You don’t have to keep your personal life so private that your colleagues don’t even know that you have kids, that your mother is in the hospital, or that you enjoy fishing. But you do have to keep your personal life well in the background and concentrate on your job during working hours. That will ensure that you do the best job you can in the quickest time and the most effective way. That will ensure that your boss, and your boss’s boss, see you as a focused and enthusiastic worker. And that will ensure that you enjoy the job more and find it more satisfying—no one can enjoy themselves fully when their mind is elsewhere.

Your colleagues don’t need to know about your personal problems. Sure, you need to have an outlet and good friends to talk to, but not during working hours. If you have good friends among your coworkers, have a drink after work to discuss your problems.

Listen, everyone has an ailing parent, a child who’s going through a tricky patch at school, an irritating neighbor, a mortgage they can barely afford, or a sister-in-law from hell coming to stay for the weekend. They don’t need to hear about your problems. Sorry, but that’s the way it is. I’m not unsympathetic, but this isn’t the time or the place for it.

Of course, I realize that there are occasionally major problems that will have some impact on your work. One of those very rare and exceptional events like a divorce or a bereavement. In these cases, of course, you won’t be able to hide it at work, and you should let your boss know why you’re not quite so on the ball for a few days or weeks. But if you’re doing your best, and you have a reputation for being work-focused and keeping your personal life out of the job, the people around you will be so much more understanding and sympathetic when you really need them to be.

NO ONE CAN ENJOY THEMSELVES FULLY WHEN THEIR MIND IS ELSEWHERE.

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