guEST

Sigh...Ursula asked me again, late yesterday evening…whether I want to swap department or not. Again! I already lost count…I don’t know this is the how many number of times that she have asked me this question again and again. I want to pengsan already. My heart rate used to be beating at a flat pulse. Now, it fluctuates and skips a beat occasionally. I am getting anxiety attacks every now and then :) Ursula says that she will take drastic action soon. I don’t know what is Ursula’s game plan is. I don’t know what her next step is. What is she thinking? What will she do? The only way that I can think of…is that she will swaps me by force. I really don’t know whether is this The General’s intentions or not. If it is, I also don’t know what bullet that I have to protest this transfer. All is Ursula who says want. Shawn & Gerrard’s department are already in an auto-pilot mode. Ursula told me that Christy’s department drop by 6%. I really don't know. I haven't check on the figures yet to assertain the truth. Ursula wants me to fix the department. In my heart, I laugh, yeah right...all this while, it is Ursula who leads the department, thus she should bear the responsibility and not Christy. She is not being fair to her. Christy was her blue eye girl. Ursula also mentions if she fixes the 6% drop, that means she is the buyer already.

I ask her how I have been performing all this while…she says; that I am adapting, pretty good, covering the buying side well, now I need to move a step further in polishing my dealings with the operations team, grab more promotion opportunities & buying income, be better at marketing the concepts, don't underestimate my buying power, link buying to concept development to visuals to sales and growing the business sustainably. Then I replied back – if that is the case, I don’t see the reason why I need to be transfer out. It is when that I have been performing very badly, than Ursula has the right to demote me.

I ask Ursula back, will I disappoint her if I say no…she pula ask me back will she disappoint me because she felt that she is giving me the opportunity to change to a new portfolio because she felt that I am bored in doing the stationery department. I can see that Ursula is hesitating in telling me the whole truth and her plans…but die-die, I am standing firm on my decision. I am not going anywhere. One more time, I am going to tell her, if she doesn’t want me, she can straight away tell me right at my face. I can accept her answers and I will manage it professionally. I can manage my work life. I can ask for transfer. No need for her to be so kepo.