Battling Office Bullies

ALICE – horrible, absolutely impossible, difficult, nasty, backbiting individual…belittle everyone, make people life a living hell…extremely manipulative, good at managing their own bosses…their behavior is a little bit nature plus nurture…usually nasty behavior stems from a deep personal insecurity or an inability to perform their job. They feel inferior and by making you miserable, they are bringing you down…they get perverse satisfaction by doing this. It’s a vandal’s mentality. Smashing nice things that belong to others is fun.

1. Killing porcupines with Kindness

The number one strategy is to kill them with kindness. For every exasperated sigh, provide a calm understanding response. Always stand your ground but don’t react to their nastiness. After throwing kindness in their face, the bad behavior should stop. Best of all, you will know that you have controlled the beast. This will help you stay calm when confronted with accusations, back stabbing campaigns and ghastly behavior. If they keep it up they end up looking like a fool.

2. Move away whenever possible.

This means being aware of a negative environment and removing yourself from it. There is a lot to say for out of sight, out of mind. Let your boss know where you can be found at all times. Don’t give up your territory – just be somewhere else more often.

3. Don’t get MAD, get EVEN

Being emotional makes it impossible to make logical decisions. Learn to manage your own responses and manage the work bully. One way is to lay future fantasy plans about ways to get even with the work bully. With every snide remark, add another imagined revenge. In all likelihood, you will never actually follow through on any of your plans, but there may come a point when you can inflict substantial damage to undermine their career. This sounds evil, but think of all the poor future souls you will be protecting :)

4. Manage the tiger, but never trust

Often the work bully will respond favorably to your kindness, then try to befriend you. No matter how tempting this is , never trust the tiger. This is a professional relationship, let it become more and don’t be surprised if you get bitten.

5. Avoid group engagement against the bully.

The camaraderie may be nice but this type of behavior is unprofessional. Bullies are good at staving off attacks and fighting is their forte. Don’t assume you and your comrades will win the war. Don’t let a nasty co-worker bring you down.