Do keep in mind that you need to make sure that you are in control of your emotions >> train yourself to recognize the signs of annoyance and take a deep breath, focus and tell yourself that this is simply a problem to solve.
Find a way to plan >> if a situation escalates suddenly, see if you can find a way to defer a discussion for a bit later in the day to give yourself time to plan. If this is not possible then you could try to buy yourself some thinking time by listening to the other side, summarizing their viewpoint and reflecting what they say. Ask open questions to give direction.
Think about your communication from an assertiveness perspective >> we know that once emotions take charge, an individual may just be reacting rather than thinking rationally and we need a way to diffuse this. One option is to use assertiveness techniques to draw attention to the behavior and how it makes you feel. For example, you might say – I can see that this has affected you greatly. When you raise your voice, I do find it hard to think and perhaps we can agree to discuss this rationally? Or perhaps – we need to find a way of resolving this, how about we think about it and come back together this afternoon to run through the issues together?
Show understanding and empathy >> acknowledge the emotion and issue. Perhaps you might say – I can see this is very important to you, let’s try and find a solution. The collaborative use if – lets – seeks to try and encourage a joint approach to resolution. Understand the perspective of the person who confronts you. Think about why they might be reacting to the situation so negatively. There might be a range of reasons from simple disagreement, to issues of status, surprise or reaction to change. Different people react differently to change. Understanding the driver behind the response will help give insights into resolving it.
See if you can find a win-win response >> something that works for both sides.
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