Sunday, September 24, 2006

*smirk*

Tommy, Amadeo & I were running late as there was some last minute stuff that we need to attend to; but we managed to reach Ipoh in one and a half hour time, driving at 140kmph…with strong torrential downpours. It was pretty scary though because the rain was coming down hard, the visibility was poor and dark gray clouds rumbled in the sky all afternoon.

Nonetheless, it was an excellent evening.
Started the evening at 8pm.
BIG portion of food was served on big white porcelain platters.
The serving was really HUGE!
Stuffed crabs, sea-cucumber + abalone + scallops + roasted pig + luxurious Chinese food.
It would have cost Nikolai a bomb if the party was held in KL.
Giggly girly chatter all night.
Good looking guys to look at :) That photographer KEN was cute.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Button Down

I don’t know why I was so upset with Seth. That attitude and behavior was not the first, and surely will not be the last. I thought I just go NUMB…but every time it crops up, the pain is getting more unbearable. Don’t blame me if I were to put up a defensive wall between the both of us. You started it.
Things are not rosy at the moment. Probably in a week’s time, we will be able to know who our new sponsors are, something that I’m not looking forward to. Yet being in the middle of this transaction, the experience of watching things change have become so enriching.

I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don’t know what you’re expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Caught in the undertone, just caught in the undertone

I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
I’ve become so tired, so much more aware
I’ve becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can’t you see that you’re smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
Caught in the undertone, just caught in the undertone
Every step I take is another mistake to you

Caught in the undertone, just caught in the undertone
And every second I waste is more that I can take

I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
I’ve become so tired, so much more aware
I’ve becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up falling too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
I’ve become so tired, so much more aware
I’ve becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be

-Numb: Linkin Park-

P/S: I’m going up to Ipoh after this with Tommy & Amadeo for Nikolai’s party tonight
:)

Sunday, September 17, 2006

The Heartbreak Kid

It starts with one thing
I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme to explain in due time
All I know time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on
But didn’t even know wasted it all just to watch it go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried
It all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when

I tried so hard
And got so far but in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter


One thing I don’t know why
Doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how I tried so hard

In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was a part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so far
Things aren’t the way before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried
It all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I

I tried so hard
And got so far but in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know


And got so far but in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

-In The End: Linkin Park-

It’s self- explanatory. I'm fucking miserable here and my soul seems to lack feeling. I HATE Seth!

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Blue Luster

Football Updates – England beat Andorra 5-0 :) Hey, it’s the mighty English Empire after all and Andorra is nothing. Ok, maybe it’s a little bit insulting of me to say that Andorra is nothing – let me re-phrase that again; Andorra just haven’t reach that benchmark of greatness yet. In the future, they might.

This week, it’s the celebration of our INDEPENDENCE. It’s our 49th and next year will be our 50th. Well, on Merdeka’s eve, I was down at Sunway to watch some really fancy fireworks display. The bright colorful sparkles were really mesmerizing. Yet somehow…I don’t know…I can’t put a finger to it…but I feel there is a lack of patriotism among the rakyat this year :( Maybe there were more important issues – wedding of the year (Siti Nurhaliza & Datuk K), Mawi & Ina confessions on their highly publicized broken engagement, the yearly budget, the PM son-in-law suggesting that the non-malays would take advantage of a weak UMNO and the rotation of the Chief Minister post in Penang.
The Chief Minister post has always been held by the GERAKAN party and some government portfolios have also been traditionally held by certain Chinese & Indians political parties. It has been agreed among the Barisan Nasional component parties that the pie will be shared equally. UMNO will take this, MCA will take that, MIC will have this, Gerakan can have that – it signifies power-sharing, no party will be left out. Of course, there is a silent acknowledgement that UMNO will have a larger share of the pie as they are the majorities of the ruling party. If the government decides to rotate Penang’s CM post – we might as well rotate the PM post. I’m really insulted when they say that the Malays in Penang are being marginalized because they have a Chinese CM.
The non-malays population is dwindling, but don’t take advantage of it. We work hard, we put in effort, we participate in the country’s economic growth, we help strengthen civil institutions, we build national capacity – all without help…we were not as lucky as some community where special privileges are given out and now that privileges have turn into some sort their rights. We work our way up with our bare hands and have never once complaint on those privileges…all these years we have only ask for more mother-tongue schools to be built, more land given to build churches, temples etc. Public universities don’t even recognize UEC (private Chinese high school) qualifications as an entry requirement. Do we make a big fuss out of it? I don’t think we did…the parents just send their kids overseas. If a community is really being marginalized, I say it’s the government at fault for not providing a sound economic environment where everyone can earn a decent living. All I’m saying is be fair. Every racial communities have contributed to this nation. This country is ours. Stop bickering around and say that I’m more superior to you. The government has found the right formula to govern its multi-racial people, so continue with that policies and perhaps, just perhaps minimizing racial prejudice along the way.

Work Tales – this week have been very shitty. The owners in M13 decide to part ways and have put us up for sales :( We have no idea who will be our new sponsor. All of us are crossing our fingers, hoping against hope that the new owners will have strong confidence in our sound business model and the team & will continue to provide us with the necessary funding. Everyone is so worried – whenever there is a merger or take-over, there surely will be retrenchment. Everyone is playing the wait-and-see game. This is so aarrggghhhh! Peace & GOD Bless Yingze.

Just as I’m starting to…starting to see a side, beginning, in fact, to have the first stirrings of feelings – it has been 16 days…maybe it was not meant to be :(