Wednesday, October 22, 2014


hidden little & lethal

In the meantime, I will be gracious & grateful to GOD for how kind the year has been to me hitherto. Be thankful for good health, a roof over my head, food on the table, my bed, my clothes, family, friends, savings in the bank, my Proton Saga, my job…I’m just SO GRATEFUL!

Life doesn’t always go the way you want it, but that’s just the beauty of it.

Occupy Central

Dear Ursula,

What is so wrong with me these days? I still cannot stop tearing until now. Can you believe it? I certainly did not expect that you would have such an impact on me. I will repeatedly have flashbacks of you…of us…giving me advise…talking to me…teaching me…guiding me…sharing with me…the things that we do together…the experiences that we have…why am I having such a hard time in letting you go? You, together with Celtic & Stewart bring tears to my eyes and you brought the most tears in me. Is our bond develop until so deep without I realizing it? Or is it because I fear…I fear that Marcus will not teach me as how you teach me…I am afraid that Marcus is unable to bring out the best in me like you did…I am scared that I will be a dead flower all over again; like what happen when I was under Leonardo’s charge…fear that I cannot stand up on my own, without you.

OMG…I have to move on. I have to let you go. I am lucky to have you in my life…even it was for just 1 year…even it was only a temporary arrangement. You are indeed that defining moment in my career & in my life. You manage to fill my life with many defining moments, however subtle or outstanding. We are part of each other's history. I wish that we can have more time together, where I can continue to learn more from you. You know, I just love learning & discovering new things. I cannot thank you enough. Yes, it’s a very unfortunate setback for me that we have to part our ways – I have to keep in mind that things happen for a season and for a reason. I have to stop asking WHY it happened, but ask HOW to move on from here. I have to release this baggage that is holding me back so I can become lighter & clearer for me to move on to the next adventure in my career.

Thanks for the adventures Ursula…now, I have to go for a new one :)

The Ram Quarters

I manage to dig out some information from Paige:

(1) The Ice Queen quite fancy Celtic & Gerrard.

(2) The reason why The Ice Queen did not touch on Ursula’s department in the first SCM re-structuring exercise is because Ursula’s business portfolio is very unique on its own. Barry is back with the SoftWare Team, Leonardo holds on to the HomeWare Team & Marcus gets the LeisureWare Team. What is so unique on running an appliance department?

(3) Marcus has been anointed as the future GM.

(4) However, Marcus did told Paige that Marcus is not ready yet…no wonder Paige told me the other day…don't know, is it now the right time for Marcus to take over the GM position.

(5) Paige has to console Ursula because Ursula also wants the GM position as well. Apparently, Ursula was very de-motivated when she heard about the news. Ursula also dedicates her whole life to G13. Her ambition drives her. To be at the highest office of all.

(6) The Ice Queen has given important task to both Marcus & Leonardo but none to Barry & Ursula. Thus, prompting Ursula to ask why she is not involved…why she is not chosen. I told Ursula, that maybe it’s a good thing after all…giving her more time to deliver on her performances.

(7) If the CM re-structuring does happen…probably it will involve buyers from the SoftWare Team & the HomeWare Team. The HardWare Team will not be touch :( There goes my hope. My hope is that Gerrard will move to another new department & I will take over Gerrard’s portfolio. I want to go back to Ursula’s team. But, looking at the information will never happen. However, I am preparing myself for the worst.

Spanx are my new best friend.

On last week Friday – all of the buyers have a 15 minutes 1-to-1 session with The Ice Queen.
The Ice Queen ask me – tell me more about yourself, your category sales is down…so what is your recovery action plan, are you open to the idea of transferring to another department or changing into a new category, where do you see yourself in 3 years time. Seriously, I am kind of scarred of The Ice Queen. I don’t know how to hard-sell myself, I don’t know how to highlight my good points & achievements…I have never been good in that area...even Ursula said that I should do that…she expected better from me. Well, I have always believed that my passion, enthusiasm, sincerity, innocence & faith will carry me through.

I told The Ice Queen that I cannot see myself in 3 years time that clearly because since I have been in G13 for the past 2 years & 4 months, I have change 3 SCMs – but The Ice Queen also answered me back brilliantly – I may change bosses frequently but I am still holding onto that 1 category. I replied back…yeah, but I have to adapt to different leadership, styles, ideas, concepts.

I find that The Ice Queen is a very autocratic person. The Ice Queen gives me the impression that we must respect the elders. Whatever the elders said, it’s already conclusive. No room for arguments. The Ice Queen is the final decision maker. The Ice Queen wants to leave a legacy. The Ice Queen has dedicate the whole life to G13.

As a conclusion – there is generally the feeling that The Ice Queen will re-structure the team once again.

Monday, October 20, 2014

I wore Converse.

Liverpool 3 – 2 QPR.
We sucks. We are just so lucky to get those 3 points :(

How To Be An Artist

Paige kepo with me the other day.

Rupa-rupanya, The General wants to remove Christy.
The General have instructed Ursula to do so…but of course, Ursula delayed in making that decision.
The General intends to transfer Christy back to Operations. But Paige also has no idea why The General dislikes Christy so much. What did Christy do? What did Christy said? Ursula also cannot simply remove Christy just like that. I remembered that Ursula told me before…if she hires a newbie, she have to spend a lot of time in teaching the newbie…if she kicks Christy out, then the buyer is Ursula pula. No wonder that day…Ursula said that Christy is not allowed to go to Canton Fair by someone. Now, the whole story clicks. And no wonder…why last year…when I newly join Ursula’s side…Ursula keep on asking me whether I want to swap department with Christy or not. It was just a platform to kill Christy off.

Some part of me is masochistic.

Aww…Ursula called me today…on my desk phone. It’s so touching. So sweet & thoughtful of her. She doesn’t have to do all of these anymore. I feel like crying all over again.

She reminds me that one of my lighting supplier has no GST, so I have to quickly clear out the stocks as fast as possible. New store opening in Kampar...go and try the lower gondola’s near the Utar, its ok to remove the children storybooks. I must know how to hard sell myself, highlight more of my achievements to The Ice Queen. Try to grow the gifts sections. Ursula also shares with me on her recent buying trips experience. Buy fewer varieties, but more on the quantities. Visit the supplier’s showroom for the range, but get the quantities from the fair. Ursula even encourages me to go to Yiwu after the CNY to source for more items. She even assures me that it’s not my fault on the indent sourcing part, it’s just that we have a very weak network.

I really don’t deserve her. Leonardo just throws me aside during the same transition period last year. Gladly, Leonardo does that to me. Campak. Buang. How am I going to survive without Ursula now? Will I survive or not in the first place…I also don’t know. Can I help myself in removing my background noises? Can I focus? I’m a dead meat. I also feels that this Marcus & Leonardo also the same-same type one. Aiyo

Grow - effectuate change - live with excitement

Finally…the HR department have issued out the memo – stating that Barry will re-join us back and Marcus will take over the LeisureWare Department :( No hope already…and…my relationship with Ursula…is officially over…it ends here…it ends will never be the same again…everything changes. Well, at least…we parted our ways on a very good terms.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

sitting on soft fuzzy grass

Dear GOD,

At this moment – Sunday, 19th October 2014, 10.41pm.
(1) I want to escape from the Stationery Department.
(2) I want to go back to Ursula’s side.
What say You…

I cannot deny that there has been so much for me to be thankful for.
Looking back…GOD has indeed been very faithful to me, look into my every needs and have blessed me tremendously. I can’t do anything right now. Nothing much to be done anyway. I can only wait. I’m just going to be happy where I am for now. I’m just going to cruise through life and work on what’s more important right now. Why stress about it? But, I am indeed very stress right now...

Taken 5

CSG Director: So, after working under Leonardo & Ursula, who is more better?
Me: Hahaha…I am not going to answer that question. It’s so sensitive.
CSG Director: So, is Ursula really that bad?!
Me: (with a serious tone) she is really not that bad as you all say she is.
CSG Director: Really ar?
Me: Really. I told myself…I either respond to it positively or negatively. Therefore, I choose to respond to Ursula positively. If I choose to respond negatively…I will be very frustrated every time she refuses to sign on my forms & always ask for multiple explanations. But I choose to respond to her positively. I will do my homework (before I meet up with her) in order for her to approve my forms.
CSG Director: I think it’s because that the both of you can click together very well.

I also share this conversation back to Paige.
Paige said that Ursula…during Mr. Jan Vet’s time…Ursula indeed did something…until it leave such a bad impression in every one’s mind. I can only say that Ursula just took advantage of the situation upon that time when the circumstances were very favoring on her side…but now, the time has change. Paige also said that Ursula have change for the better as well. She changed a lot. Of course lah, no more back up mah

munching on fruit muffins

Clara told me that people like Sabrina will leave somehow, someday because they cannot stand the sarcasm and criticism. OMG.

skinny dipping

Celtic also confirms & verifies that Sabrina indeed left G13 because of Ursula’s management style. So, I think that, since the whole office already knew about it, that means…this news have also reached Ursula’s ears as well. Celtic said that Sabrina will receive emails from Ursula in the middle of the night or very early in the morning. And Ursula will keep on chasing & chasing Sabrina on the deadlines. Sigh…the more I think about it…the more I want to THANK YOU GOD, PRAISE TO THE LORD, BLESS YOU GOD :)


I kepo with Paige.
Did Sabrina really leave G13 because of Ursula’s management style? :)
I mean…deep in my heart, I already have the answer because Ursula told me that Sabrina left because of stress but did not confirm that the stress was coming from her. I also heard about it from the others…but I didn’t have the opportunity to ask Sabrina the question personally.

According to Paige, Sabrina has always been honest & direct with Paige. Sabrina did mention to Paige that Sabrina is leaving because someone gave Sabrina the pressure. But no name was mention here. So confirm lor…I mean...who else in the office give Sabrina the stress…Shawn & Gerrard also teach Sabrina many things and they will not kacau her like how Ursula did.

Chapel Street

I pour out my frustrations to Paige on the other day.

But then again, I also realize that it is also of no use. I don’t think Paige can help me out here as well. I don’t think Paige will go and informed The Ice Queen about it. Paige is not like Stewart. Stewart can actually highlight to the bosses (from Iron Butterfly, Snow Petrol to Juan Carlos) on how the buyers feel…which was good enough to eventually influence their future decision-making. Any action plans will be to motivate and to bring out the best of the buyers.

I told Paige that I am very frustrated with the changes. Not because of the change of the leadership…but the feeling…that I am like a ball…being kick here…being kick there…got kick all over the place…not feeling wanted. When I had that stability under Leonardo…you all took that stability away from me. When I am able to get my act together under Ursula, again…you all took away that constancy from me. Sigh…I know…The Ice Queen will not revert back to the old structure, the decision have been made. Affirmative. Give up lah

Taken 4

Celtic got mention to me, that probably Ursula is not that happy that the Stationery Category is being transferred out to Marcus. After all, Ursula did put in a lot of effort into it, she really did a very good job in bringing down; both of the stock value & the stocks days of the department, she have lay down a very good foundation for me to move forward (crossing fingers, hopefully I will not screw it up again) and bringing out the best in me. What’s more, Celtic believes that Ursula can help me to close the department positive by this year end. Now, it’s all gone. Down to the drain. And there’s nothing that Ursula can do about it. Ursula will also will not be that stupid to go against The Ice Queen, to fight back for the department (or for me). I guess I am stuck with Marcus then…

Taken 3

Italiannies Pasta Pizza & Vino, Empire Shopping Gallery, Subang – we had a farewell dinner for The General on last week Friday. Towards the end of the dinner, Ursula told me that my Past, Present & Future are sitting together on the same table…
Past: Leonardo
Present: Ursula
Future: Marcus
Hahaha…this also she can think of…

Saturday, October 18, 2014

direction de la surveillance du territoire

Celtic: J___ really miss you.
Ursula: She only misses me nagging her.
Celtic: She say that you taught her a lot of things & that she learn a lot from you as well.
Ursula: I only know how to pusing her, then she pusing me back & she is very clever to menyampuk me back.
Celtic: Good lah, that means she knows what she is doing. If she do not know what she is doing, how can she pusing you. Being a buyer must clever to pusing what.
Ursula: True also.

I want to pengsan already.
The both of them coincidently sat together during this meeting and I overheard their whole conversation. Aiyo

don’t live in a cage – UnCage

Either Ursula is motivating me (as I was kind of feeling down, disoriented, blur for the first 2 days of last week)…or she can’t let go (that’s what Stephanie thinks)…or she sympathizes with my present condition…she probably have notices that Marcus & I have not started any conversation between us yet…so leaving me headless, homeless & clueless. I also felt speechless :(

Ursula: At the moment, all emails, please Cc to Marcus so that Marcus can try to catch up. Meanwhile, for this moment, all the decision will be made by me.

Me: YES!

the 4 buttercups

Guess what…Ursula is indeed like Seth! :)
Ursula did drop by in my room on Tuesday & Wednesday (2 days after the announcement was made)…but lesser on Thursday & Friday as she was very busy. Besides that, Ursula still email to me as usual…still share information & reports with me and still brief me leh. Even in her email…my name was the first one to appear. She also invites me to attend one of her supplier’s GST meetings. I wanted to attend so badly. But when the suppliers arrive at the office, no one calls me…I also don’t dare to invite myself. Additionally, when I saw that the meeting was held in her room (instead of using the big meeting room) and the space was a little bit cram in Ursula’s room, I was a bit hesitate to join. I also do not want the scene to be so awkward…I mean, what will Marcus, Shawn, Gerrard & Christy make out of it…even though it should be ok.

Anyway, Ursula is no longer obligated to help & to guide me anymore.
For her to continue to do so…I can only say THANK YOU GOD, PRAISE TO THE LORD, BLESS YOU GOD.
I’m indeed very touch with her generosity & sharing last week. Leonardo also didn’t bother about me at all. Terus abandon me just like that.

how the hot dog found its bun

This Marcus also another celaka betul :(

I remembered that during last year transition period, from Leonardo to Ursula – it took Ursula, either the third day or the fourth day to start talking to me. This Marcus…totally don’t have. It’s already a week now. As I recall back on last year…I make the first move to see, to approach & to talk to Ursula first by saying good morning to her.

This time around, I also do the same thing with Marcus. Marcus was in Paige’s room at that point of time. I told Marcus that we need to meet up because I need to brief Marcus on the Flat Price inter-store transfer. I told Marcus to drop by at my room when Marcus is free. Of course, Marcus never drops by. Only call to enquire on why a new item listing for the coming BTS, the margin is so low. I then proceed to brief Marcus on the Flat Price stock movement. After that, no more follow-up from Marcus’s side. Shit…that is why I hate changes of bosses. Especially during this critical time of BTS 2014, Xmas 2014 & CNY 2015.

I know that Marcus is very busy…both Marcus & Barry have to do handover to each other…then Leonardo also have to do handover to Marcus…Ursula have to do handover to Marcus too. Aiyo…this Ice Queen is making everyone is so busy. Unnecessarily.

I also heard from Paige that this Barry have quickly hand over the Premium Format duties to Marcus but Marcus have yet to do any handover to Barry. This Paige also commented that this Barry is very lazy. No wonder The General wants to transfer Barry out from the team in the first place but now The Ice Queen have decided to transfer Barry back in.

everyone’s munching…..nachos

Rupa–rupanya…Shawn was the chosen one to follow Ursula to China for this month’s Canton Fair…sigh…it could have been me…

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Taken 2

Ursula commented to me that I am actually a very smart gal…don’t know how true is it lah…I always find myself to be a very blur & slow person…she also said that I tend to float around…that’s why I told Ursula that she did a great job in removing my background noises & helping me to be more focus and more align in my work…she added that I am still very young in buying; in terms of the experiences…that I mix with a very young crowd of people who is not that business driven yet. You see…Ursula is a very determined & business-oriented person…if a category is down…she will very quickly do a quick fix, she will ask questions – what went wrong? What’s the next step? She will very quickly bounce back.

Ursula didn’t know a single thing about stationery when she first took over the department but she is very willing to learn, what information that she have, she will share them with me…she said that she is giving me the analysis & report card, instead of the other way around…hahaha…I think if Ursula were to put more of her heart & soul into it…don’t know what will happen…

But I have to say that the type of reports that Ursula runs is very informative and excellent. Ursula also remind me that I must be more strong in my figures, moving forward…sigh…I hate numbers...


Hahaha…Ursula told me on Tuesday morning that she treated me the most lenient compare to the others. I told her back that I don’t think so and I certainly don’t feel that way…I think Ursula is a very smart woman. Different buyers; she uses different approaches & tactics. With Sabrina…Ursula will chase non-stop…with Christy…harsh or strong words will be used…as for me…her sarcasm is totally laser…I know for sure, that the other buyers in the office…they will totally switch her off. I either choose to respond positively or negatively. THANK YOU GOD, PRAISE TO THE LORD, BLESS YOU GOD – I chose to respond positively. It makes me want to study my department further and enhance my understanding better.

Monday, October 06, 2014

Brew & Skittles

This evening – Ursula watsapp me:

Ursula: Hi J___, sorry to trouble you. Tomorrow will have floor walk witj Tim about sales performance of leisureware. If he question about action plan for stationery..can I suggest to start top 20skus of BTS in month of Oct? Reason beside paper and files we can starts with writing and colour pencils. Also maybe we could starts on the stationery sets and tapes.
Me: Hahaha…ok.
Ursula: Why hahaha!!
Me: Nothing…
Ursula: Later your new boss will change.
Me: :(
Ursula: Just mine proposal for tomorrow.
Me: Ok.
Ursula: Bosses change CM don’t…later The Ice Queen will question SCM and CM. Ok or not? Next week is the handover. Later Marcus said I simply made decision.
Me: :( Ok.
Ursula: Ok than we will walk the talk.
Me: Yes Ma’am.

Either Ursula is helping me out here...laying the final steps / clues for me to acheive the last 3 months - October, November & December positive or she wants to cover up her ass.

Sigh...worry is nothing but a bad habit that slows you down.


Big Hug Burgers

The tears have dry now.
I have done with all of my crying.
It has settle down now.
Tomorrow…I am on my own already.


A few days before the announcement was made – Ursula keep on rushing me to finish off all of the new item listing as fast as possible as she is leaving for her sourcing trip next week. I told her…I know – ‘I have counted and I only have 10 working days to be with you…after that I am independent & free’ – really independent & free I am now :( Sigh…

Pasta Mafia to Rule KL

Speaking of Sabrina’s farewell lunch…I felt lah…it was a disaster…yes, at the end of the day, Sabrina did not want a farewell lunch…but Ursula still on it for Sabrina. Only involves some of the MAs…Gerrard, Shawn, Christy, Ursula, myself…Alice, Linda, Lionel…basically just invited themselves…not that nice lor…I didn’t make any contribution…just got a small farewell card for the whole team to sign on it.

6 seconds of summer

Ursula said that she wants to farewell me too…she lost 2 buyers in 1 day.
I told her that I didn’t want the one that she organizes for Sabrina…I told her bluntly that I will bring her to the place of my choice and she just have to pay for the bills. Hahaha…

best of sisters & friends

Hahaha…everyone in the office thought that I am very happy, that finally I am able to escape from Ursula’s evil clutches. I just told them that I will missed her…and their expression was like…yeah right…indicating that I am so fake.

Seriously…I will really miss Ursula. I have always been genuine, honest and real with her…but on her part…I am not sure lah. Let’s just look at Ursula's work leadership & capabilities. Yes…maybe…she is a good boss but a bad person…but she have been very good to me.

Her spirit of excellence is there. Look at how she handle those crucial moments, you just watch what she do, how she does it and how she compose herself so well, and I really learn a lot and hopefully I can take her best points and bring it into my game as well. She just has this ability to regain her composure in the middle of a very long rally. She clearly has the thinking speed, but also the smarts and the variety of strategies & tactics. If a team is led by someone who desires to accomplish all tasks with a sense of excellence, this vision can be shared with others to produce well executed work. Ursula works harder than anyone else in the team. She is the first to show up in the office early in the morning and the last to leave. When everyone else has gone home, Ursula is still there to plan & execute strategies. You see, Ursula always remain focus 100% at all times. Not only is she responsible for knowing every inch of her every department that she handles, she’s also responsible for the lives of the other people in her team. Now, do I want that responsibility? No...I say we make Ursula the driver :)

Buaya Sangkut

After the announcement has been made – Baldwin, Madeleine & I had lunch together.

Madeleine have heard about Ursula’s toughness and commented that I have managed to survive it all. Baldwin also adds on that I am one very tough gal, I am strong and that I can carry on until now…unlike someone who resigns. Well, we agree that at least Sabrina left on a high note; both Sabrina's category is MTD & YTD positive; which will look good on Sabrina’s CV in the future. Baldwin heard that the reason that Sabrina is leaving is for family reasons and also due to Ursula’s management style…stress? :)

Both commented that Marcus is a very good boss too…and I will be enjoying working with Marcus. I don’t know lah…is Ursula really that tough? Actually, I think Ursula is such a misunderstood character. Previously, she have to kill off everybody…in order to secure her department's performance…she have to kill off Pietro because Pietro was not performing up to par…I don’t know…I can only say that Ursula & I can click very well, we can gel in together very well...we have a very good working & personal chemistry…she manages me well…she understands me too well…she knows that she needs to draws me out in order for me to speak out…she knows which button to press…she knows what to triggers me & how to triggers me…Leonardo will just find me a complex creature.

Gratitude to such a misunderstood character. I think Ursula have never been that tough with me…as with Christy. THANK YOU GOD, PRAISE TO THE LORD, BLESS YOU GOD...I know...I am very lucky. I think to a certain extent…she does sayang me…she shares things with me (which I don’t think that she share with Shawn, Gerrard, Christy or even Sabrina)…I am someone that she can trust…I am blunt & direct…I don’t dress a donkey as a horse…I don’t sweep things under the carpet. I hope she will be like Seth…I remember that during my days in M13…once I have completed my HouseHold Department training and I was suppose to go over to the HouseBrand Department…Seth drops by to see how I am doing and also to indicate to other people not to bully me. According to Baldwin…Marcus also got puji Ursula…Ursula is very hardworking and a very smart person.

Today…Ursula’s burden & responsibilities have ended.

One’s Destiny

On last week Friday night – Baldwin & I were supposed to have a nice dinner together…to celebrate…to celebrate Baldwin’s belated birthday…but then…mana tahu…because of the unexpected news…Baldwin was not in the mood…and the dinner got cancel. Baldwin looks upset a little…I don’t blame Baldwin…Baldwin; too have a strong attachment with Marcus. Just like…me & Ursula.

I hope that after this…my relationship with Ursula will not change at all…we still can talk to each other…we still can share with each other…we still can trust each other…freely...without any barriers…without any limitations…without any mistrust. I want the freedom to continue to be able to seek her advise & opinions…both work & personal. I want to be her punching bag…I want her to continue to mumble to me…I want to hear her grandmother's stories...I still can manja with her…Ursula; not only helps me to grow in my work…but also as a person. I’ll always be grateful to her, whatever happens. Thank you Ursula…for helping me to find my cheese…for helping me to find myself back again. Thank you for taking away the circus that surrounds me, and the circus that I probably could have invited myself into sometimes, and to help me to control or to remove the background noises and just to get me to focused on my job.

Bard Of Avon

Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them – William Shakespeare.

So…where do I stand?

Sunday, October 05, 2014

Gold Cold

Hahaha…this is so funny…a conversation that I have with Ursula, right after lunch.

Ursula: You are such a good pretender.
Me: Pretend what?
Ursula: You are in the office before 2 pm.
Me: That day, I reply your email before 2pm…you also didn’t praise me.
Ursula: Hahaha…

I know…I know…after this…I have to watch my steps…equal & fair treatment to Leonardo, Marcus, Barry & Ursula.

But frankly speaking…Ursula will also always have a special place in my heart…just like Stewart.

Sigh…I just want some stability here…why kick this department like a ball? Suka-suka kick here…suka-suka kick there…

Add Inc.

I had this conversation with Ursula…before the disaster strikes…when we was walking the floor of our GHSA store.

Ursula: You are a very smart person.
Me: No. I am very lazy.
Ursula: Yeah, I know that. But you are very smart…smarter than someone.

Smarter that someone…I think Ursula meant Christy?

Sigh…now everything changes.
It is one of God's plans for me.
God will always make things better and better and better…and not lesser and lesser and lesser…I will have HOPE. I will be STRONG. I will keep my chin up. I will SMILE. Tomorrow is another day.


Before the announcement was made – I had a telephone conversation with one of my JB store Division Manager, a few days ago.

She told me that – she went and told Ursula the other day…that among all of her buyers…there is one buyer that is exactly like her…always follow-up on the sales…cross-checking on how is the department is doing currently…strategies also start to think like her…that person is J___ L__ S__ Y___. Ursula’s reaction was to laugh and say that its good…look whose the teacher is.

I certainly hope that I have made Ursula proud of me.

Men Alive!

I really don’t understand The Ice Queen rationality here.

And somehow, I think Marcus is also very kesian. Marcus could have a very good year this year. Both Celtic & Madeleine’s department is positive, positive with a very big & good gap somemore. Baldwin’s category may be down for now but with the coming Home Fair, it’s the time for Baldwin to shine…Baldwin will be able to close the gap as well. However, these categories fall into Leonardo’s credit. Clearly, Leonardo is the biggest beneficiary here. Why didn't The Ice Queen park back Marcus into Homeware? It's Marcus forte after all.

As per the sales figures – the Textile Department is still finding its own footing. I heard that the 5 buyers (sometimes) go against Marcus…thus causing Marcus having a very hard time to implement the changes that Marcus wants. The department is still down. Indicating that Marcus is going off with the department on a negative trend and without any positive changes that can be seen. Now, Marcus is in the Leisureware driving seat. Only Alice’s & Pietro’s category is positive…mine is going downhill...I am very comfortable with the plans & the vision that Ursula has for my category…not sure what will be Marcus new direction for now. Marcus indeed has a very tough year, re-starting all over again. But everyone feels that this is a good training ground for Marcus to go a level up as Marcus have gone through so many categories…ready to take over the GM position someday. But the question is...will Marcus be really rewarded for it? Everyone thought so...but look what happen now...even The General have left without a word. The only department that Marcus has not touch yet is Ursula’s. And Ursula have not gotten her wish fulfilled as well…to eventually assume the textile division top position; one day. And now with this Barry that is coming back into the picture…interesting game is forming right now among the 4 of them.

This Celtic also celaka betul – want to ask and instigate Marcus to voice out to The Ice Queen, to capitalize on Marcus core strength which is to take back the Homeware category from Leonardo and give back the Leisureware category to Leonardo – PLEASE GOD...I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK TO LEONARDO!

The Floodgates

After the announcement was made – I was in Ursula’s room.

Me: I regret that I didn’t take up your offer.
Ursula: Hahaha…not to say that…it’s very heavy hearted to let you go. You are smart…just remember that the experience that you have…
Me: No one can take it away from me…
Ursula: Yeah…and remember that different managers have different style.
Me: Why so serious?
Ursula: Yeah mah

I am so going to miss this Ursula…I will miss her triggers, her feedback, her analysis, her answers, her critics, her comments...just everything about her…OMG, have I become so needy & dependent on her now? Maybe I am sendiri yang perasan here & syok sendiri. Maybe Ursula is very happy that she has gotten rid of me. I am the one who is doing all the crying work here. She might have not felt what I felt. Bodohnya I. And celaka betul – what a lucky bitch she is...she actually manage to escape the BTS 2014, Christmas 2014 & CNY 2015 :) Last year; during the same transition period – it’s still in Leonardo’s accountability. But for this year…knowing The Ice Queen's style of doing things…it will be straight away be park under Marcus’s boundary.

Kenduri Conundrum

Before the re-structure announcement was announced; earlier on, The Ice Queen gathers all of us together for a meeting. Celaka betul…don’t want to make the announcement together but make Ursula drop such a big bomb on me; in such a sudden manner. In the meeting, The Ice Queen have drafted up some changes…big, drastic changes…which I admit…that I am also scared of…we will be having meetings on every Wednesday @ 9.30 am and must answer everything in front of everybody. Shit lah…I sure will fail and will embarrass myself even further :( Later on, in Ursula’s room:

Ursula: You better get all of your new item listing done by this week, I don’t want to go in with a long list. (Ursula wanted to cubit my arm already, as I have been giving her lots of new item listing forms for the BTS 2014 to be sign for the past few days).
Me: Including the new items?
Ursula: Yes.
Me: Is your option still opens?
Ursula: Hahaha…
Me: I don’t mind answering for the sales and the buying income…but I certainly don’t want to do the whole long list of presentation.
Ursula: You resign and come back lah.
Me: Good also…come back with a higher salary.

I think all this while…Ursula knows that the stationery department will be detached from her some day. It’s only a matter of time. Maybe, that is why, she is always asking me whether I want to switch portfolios or not. Or maybe, I just think too much…too perasan already.

Pudding on the ritz

This was how Ursula breaks down the news to me.

Ursula: I have news for you.
Me: Good news or bad news.
Ursula: I think its good news for you.
Me: Ok, what it is? Break it down gently.
Ursula: You will be under Marcus, effective on next week Monday.
Me: Wah, I really have the honor & the privilege to serve 3 Senior Category Managers.
Ursula: Hahaha…
Me: You finally manage to get rid of me. Anyway, its correct mah, Stationery cannot go along with Appliance.
Ursula: Why not? It’s also good to learn on how to manage another side of the business.

But deep down inside, I am just so crushed :( so heartbroken. I will surely, truly, deeply, madly miss my dear Ursula. Damn, do they know how tiring it is to start all over again under a new leadership?

Bosphorus Baby!

This is The Ice Queen new structure:

Ursula still keeps her Appliance Team: Gerrard, Shawn & Christy.

Leonardo will have Celtic, Madeleine & Baldwin.

The biggest surprise was that The Ice Queen actually brought back Barry into the division, taking care of the Textile Team. Like Celtic said – ikan masin also can be brought back alive. Hahaha…

Marcus – will be taking charge of Alice, Pietro and my portfolio. Plus the premium format.

I do have to agree to a certain extent that this is the right category classification.
It’s just that…I want to be continued to be under Ursula’s charge.

where art thou in summer?

Guess what…I actually cried…because I am no longer under Ursula. I have been crying for 2 nights in a row now. Can you actually believe that? What is wrong with me? All of a sudden, I am just so emotional. I didn’t cry this much for Celtic, for Iron Butterfly, for Snow Petrol or even for Stewart. I didn’t realize that I have such a strong attachment to her. I really can’t let go. I think I will never get over it.

Dear Ursula,
Just want to say a very BIG THANK YOU for all of your teachings, your guidance, the experience, your lengthy grandmother’s stories, your mumblings, your comics, your crappyness, your awesomeness…it has been such an amazing learning journey for me…hope it is for you too. Sorry, that I have been a pain in the ass, thank you for letting me to be a part of your team and keeping me company through it all. Gratitude to such a misunderstood character. Thank you for providing me with that stability, that motherly figure that looks over me and that corporate figure for me to look up to.

From the cheekiest, mischievous, naughtiest and 100% laziest J___.

rousing & delighting

3rd October 2014 – I have been blogging on stories about Ursula & myself for the past 1 year now. I know…that one day…one day...these stories will have to come to an end…but I just didn’t expect it to be this fast. Since The General has resigned, the temporary caretaker will be The Ice Queen. She has re-structured the division once again. With effective from 12th October – I will no longer be park under Ursula anymore. But will be park under Marcus :( :_( Exactly, my 1 year tenure under her…comes to an end. This is the end of our story together.

you can do it (do what???)

Liverpool 2 – 1 West Brom :)
Lallana & Henderson down WBA.