Monday, July 26, 2010

don't take away my shine

How have we been reacting when we're faced with struggles & challenges in our daily life? The way we regard and view our life's difficulties will determine how we get through our life's hurdles. We can always feel sorry for ourselves, complain and give up. Or we can learn to see how our characters can be made stronger, further shaped and sharpened when we ourselves go through life's difficulties. We learn the most when we're faced with life's struggles and challenges. We learn how to roller-blade better; after we give it a go, wobble, fall, and get up again. We learn how to be more patient, wiser, knowledgeable and cool-headed, when we're faced with pressing or frustrating situations. Just like how gold becomes purer after going through intense high temperature. Let us ask GOD for the much needed mercy and strength to go through every single hurdles in life that HE'S allowed to take place in our life. For we know we could never go through life's ups and downs with our own strength.

I always prayed to GOD to instill these strong characteristics in me - Passion, Preserverance, Proactiveness, Courage, Confidence, Composure, Conscience & Competencies. I have always believed that if my heart is pure, genuine, sincere & humble; these positive energies will attract all of the goodness in life to me. I embrace life, I will experience the whole process (whether it's good or bad) and this whole understanding will enriched me personally.

Life is a perpetual struggle and the people who are happy are the ones who have accepted the bumpiness and managed themselves well.

I refuse to be defeated :)

Sunday, July 25, 2010

cocktails & dreams

Dear GOD, I need a direct & verbal answer from you. Now. Please speak to me. Is it...destined that I have to go back to my buying & merchandising job for now? Is it already pre-planned that I will join the English? I really need to know. I want answers. Apologized if I am being demanding. I have just rejected Rodrigo & Atticus on one hand, and then on the other hand; I received Haakon's call & text messages; inviting me to cross-over to the other side. Don't get me wrong. I am not complaining. I am more than thankful & grateful with the blessings that you have been showering upon me non-stop. Praise To The Lord. I want to I intrepreting and seeing the whole picture wrongly? Are you trying to tell me that I have make a wrong decision earlier on. Because somehow; when I rejected an offer, there will be another party that will suddenly appear out of nowhere and will pull me back into that direction again. Sigh. Too bad, I have to decline Haakon's offer as well. If I join Haakon, it will be an insult to Rodrigo & Atticus. I know that a lot is at stake here. It's a huge gamble. Words will go around. I know that if I keep on rejecting people proposals, there won't be other offers coming in, in the future. Was it wrong? Did I make a mistake?

Right now, I'm battling an even bigger problem. I think Rodrigo & Atticus are plotting against me. I understand their anger, frustrations...they will have problems answering to their bosses as I was just this close in signing the papers. I can feel that the duo are already bad-mouthing & sabotaging me in front of our common suppliers. Look at the English new Baby Fair Mailer:
Push Car - RM29.99 / RM32.90
Ring Pool With 50 Balls - RM24.90 / RM39.90
Tricycle With Handle, Foot Rest & Protector's Seat - RM99.90 / RM119.00
It's the same assortment, yet the English prices are way cheaper...the timing is too coincidence. They are making me miserable, they are making me look bad in the market and are getting their revenge. I am not being paranoid. I won't be surprised...their last strategy to get rid of me in the market; is to place me in cold storage. Totally freeze. Get all of my suppliers to withdraw their support and to boycott me. Until I have no more control. I am begining to lose the control anyway. Yes, I know that I have upset the wrong people.

206 days later; I am still struggling. ARGH. Life.
This coming weekend is all about doing nothing. Self-reflection and personal audit.

Please Help.

"In The Middle Of Difficulty, Lies Opportunity" - Albert Einstein

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Sundays are for

Oriental Pavillion Restaurant, Jaya 33 - Attended the wedding of our close cousin Ruth's to Your Can :) Yeah, the bridegroom has a very unique name doesn't he? Oriental Pavillion is one of the most expensive restaurant in PJ. It's in the heart of the city after all. It will be a very happening place soon. The place has a marvelously posh decor, lush ambience, a fabulous view, an excellent reputation for their menu and of course a substantial price tag to match. It was so much fun to meet up with all of the uncles, aunties & cousins. Not to mention, my fifth aunt came back from New York too. Baby Sis & I have new clothes to wear as well :) So nice to see all of the little grandchildren growing up too. The night was beautiful. Everything is awesome. And simple. Simple is always good :)

no. maybe. yes. oh maybe no. perhaps yes. i don't know

Rejecting Rodrigo & Atticus - my this stupid mistake may cost me. I know that I let this golden opportunity to slip away from my fingers just because of a silly reason or two. To them, it's silly. But to me, they are strong & valid reasons. I accepted their offer and now I have rejected them. They are so going to killed me. This door will forever be close for the rest of my life. They will condemned me, they will cursed me, they will bitched about me, I will be blacklisted and the worst case scenario is that my reputation & image in the market will be tarnished & damage by them :( They need to salvage their pride. I cause them to lose face. They cannot admit publicly that I have rejected them. They have to say that they are the ones who find me not suitable to be a part of their team. I will face up to the consequences of my actions. It's all over for me now. I won't be surprise that I will not be able to secure any vacant position within the hypermarket retail industry anymore. Rodrigo & Atticus indeed have that kind of power and authority to make or break a person.

Sigh. I didn't do this on purpose. I have no intention to play them out. There is this small hesitation in my heart in the first place...but I still take up their offer...but due to their HR long delay...that long period of time have given me the chance to pause & reconsider...I just decide to take a u-turn...and I also kind of lost interest along the way. I know; it's like a repeat of 2007 where I decline Juan Valentine's offer and decide to join Haakon instead & 2008 where I rejected Atticus's proposal and went to work with the French till now. Everyone is laughing & mocking at me :( Whatever. Only time will tell.

With nowhere to go and being stuck here with the French, I know I will have to suffer in silence. My one and only opportunity; I also let it go. Although life's been busy & crazy, I'm just glad that things are still on track. I am grateful for having GOD as a living guide in my life & happyness as a guiding word for me.

"It takes a lot of courage to grow up and be who you really are" - E.E Cummings.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

in youth we learn; in age we understand

i think i'm getting more lazy as the days rolls by...

i have come to realize and recognize that i don't have the ambition and the drive to acheive something just for the sake of acheivement. it is expected for people in general; to continually climb the corporate career ladder for more money, responsibilities & supremacy. but i don't feel the incessant need to do so, even though these things are fulfilling to most people. i will only go for something when i feel i'm ready for it. i don't force a schedule onto myself.

i don't have a list of things to do before i turn such and such age and i don't have places to see and things to eat before i die. of course, once in a while, i do fantazie about them. but i don't have a bucket list because...i don't measure the worth of my life with these milestones.

however, i do measure it though; with the happiness that i have in my life. and right now, it's pretty damn good. maybe that's why i'm feeling so contented when the common perception of the people around me is that i can and should be doing more with my life.

are you coming with me?

Met up with Seth for yum-cha at Subang Parade :) We were catching up on the latest happenings in our life and then Seth asked me how long I am thinking of staying on with my current work. I answered that I don't really know for now...I don't have the answers...depending on how much I can grow in this organization. The future is uncertain. And everything is a big IF. We also discuss my English offer. Seth also generously shared with me on how the current English situations are, the difficulties for each of the Divisions in collecting the monthly fees & meeting their sales KPIs, the internal politics spearheaded by Rodrigo, Atticus, Juan Valentine & Miguel, favoritism among the buyers, discriminations, the work portfolios that I will be inheriting from Atticus (i have been told that there's a load of shit in it) etc. To me, this is normal (you get it everywhere, anywhere) and what Rodrigo & Atticus offered me was good. But deep down in my heart, there is this tiny hesitation in me. In return, Seth asked me whether I am interested to join Seth's company. The package's key point is the opportunity for international sourcing and the possibility of partnership offering if I performed well.

Guillermo also texted me; again - offering me a job. I can choose whether I want to do HouseHold/Soft Furnishing or Furniture/Gardening categories.

What on earth did I do to derserve all of these?
I'm about to make a very important decision. Drastic. No turning back.


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

i'm the gun

They were the European Champ in 2008 and now they are crowned the World Champion. It was a very long & close game. Both teams played very well. Spain's sucess lies on their good, old fashion, slow & steady hardwork on the pitch. The Dutch was just this close to nail it. Too bad, luck was not on their side.

Monday, July 12, 2010

'the days are long but the years go by fast'

Fong Lye Tea House, The Gardens - Gathering with The Circle (Ivy, Jo, Chriss and Agnes & Chee Hoo). I had a great lunch with them, and it felt very good today. It was easy-going, comforting & relaxing. We nattered about everything & anything. Chriss and Agnes even brought their kids along. I remembered several years back, they were individuals in their early 20s, building their career in their respective professional field, gone through several bumpy relationships, traveled a bit, met a guy, fell in love and now they are married, moved house, had children and started a new life as a wife & mother; a companion and a nurturer. How time flies! :)

I think it's safe to say, we have arrive at a place where our friendships have gotten so much more dear and meaningful. And it's never been this good. At least, that's how it feels like to me right now. It feels absolutely fantastic. I cherish all of the relationships that I have. And I've learnt to give more, listen more and share more. I'm not perfect, and I hold faith in my loved ones that they know that too.

"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart" - Elisabeth Foley

Sunday, July 11, 2010

getting ready for the long haul

The Germans lost to the Spanish 1 - 0 :( The Spanish played a world-class game. Nonetheless, Germany came in third by beating Uruguay 3 - 2. A bronze medal as a consolation.
Please let Holland beat Spain. Please don't let that Octopus Oracle get it right again!

Sunday, July 04, 2010

complete beginners

By right, on paper; Brazil & Argentina should have no problem in marching through their respective quarter finals. However, with a twist of fate, these favorites was outplayed by their opponents. Holland was on the same playing level with Brazil. Both teams played a very competitive, tight & control game. Alas, Wesley Sneijder manages to find the gap and scored that crucial goal. Finally, the Oranje have blossoms into an international class act.
Meanwhile, the Germans were terrific. The Argentines was not in the same league as them. We know that the Germans is all about ground formations, precisions & accuracy but the Argentines were the favorites due to their robust energy, speed & fancy footwork. But last night game, the young Germans really pick up speed especially Philipp Lahm, Bastian Schweinsteiger, Lukas Podolski - they were playing at a much faster pace than usual. For Spain to beat Germany in the semi-finals, the Spanish have to mark very heavily & attack the German players who are playing on the left-wing.
The Finals - Germany vs Holland :)

Thursday, July 01, 2010


today, we're midway through the year