Sunday, May 24, 2009

Pride and Prejudice

Coleman “Let’s Go Outside” and “School’s Out, Fun’s In” 23rd May – 14th June 2009 Press Ad Promotion.
I gave my best, I gave my all, I did everything I could; what was expected of me, what was demanded from me – I put my heart & soul into it...lots of effort, time and resources were pour into it – yet the first week sales results remain discouraging and miserable. I am shocked, astonished, there is terror in my eyes. I almost stopped breathing. It’s like I study so hard day & night and yet I only manage to score a C for the exam. I am speechless, I am clueless. I don't know what to do anymore. I am just going to put them in GOD’s hands. GOD’s will. Prayer is powerful. I will put my faith in GOD. Things are never easy. If it was easy, I probably wouldn’t enjoy it as much.

Today; I sat in StarBucks, I sipped my cold Ice Blended Chocolate Frappucino, ate sandwiches, chicken pie and Ipanema chocolate cake & browsing through magazines. I loved it. Again, the importance of ME TIME. Quiet-time is a wonderful balance for the soul. Time for a short mental reflection. A breather. A turning point at pause. A step forward with each new breath taken.

Outward, I guess; I am a picture of joy, bliss, perfect contentment, but like many; I am broken, imperfect. Because of this Press Ad Promotion Project and with the poor sales results - I've forgotten how to smile; and that creates less room everyday for inspiration and passion in my heart. But THAT is what I treasure the most about my silly self. THIS has GOT to change. THIS; meaning how my life is now evolving from a fun enjoyable one to a stressful and unforgiving experience; as well as how my goals and dreams will not be achievable at this rate and sequence. I've got to get my head straight; pull my $*& together and continue down the right path. I know better than to run myself into the wall like this; and it's about time I acted so. I'm burnt out; I won’t deny it...I brought it upon myself without much thought or intention; but there's no use in whining about it.
I WANT to feel alive again! :) YAY! Once again; I've seen the light. Only by experience will you ever learn the importance of balance and how it can affect every aspect and outlook on your life. And learn every day to keep a good balance in life.
I for one am learning too. Every day.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

on a wing and a prayer


(Motivational writer Lynn Grabhorn pointed out that you can’t solve a problem in the same frequency in which it was created. There was no use in looking back and regretting what could have been)
This year is all about laying down the foundations, building new concepts and image branding.
Adapt and Differentiate.
Anticipation, Association and Representation.
Touch a nerve; become a part of the customers’ lifestyle. I need to draft a Product, Marketing, Communication, Branding and Suppliers strategies. I know that the English and the Hong Kies are coming up with something new & vibrant to shake the market and therefore I need to prepare & counter-react fast. It’s going to be a very daunting journey and tough months are ahead of us.

In life, nobody ever goes through success alone. Everyone of us achieved our success did it with the help and support from the people around us. I just hope that my people can stand up to the pressure.
And the most important of all, GOD...please give me the needed strength and perseverance.

-Miley Cyrus: The Climb-

I can almost see it
The dream I'm dreamin'
But theres a voice inside my head sayin'
You'll never reach it
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make
Feels lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep tryin'
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it through
Always gonna be a up-hill battle
Sometimes we're gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
Its The Climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking

Sometimes it might knock me down
But, no; I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that I'm gonna remember most
Yeah, just gotta keep goin'
And I; I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
We're always gonna wanna make it through
Always gonna be a up-hill battle
Sometimes we're gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
Its The Climb
Yeah, there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it through
Always gonna be a up-hill battle
Sometimes we're gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
Its The Climb
Keep on movin'
Keep climbin'
Keep the faith
Baby its all about, its all about
The Climb
Keep the faith, keep the faith

Friday, May 22, 2009

fairytales with no happy ending

The night is here - the quiet existence. Street lights buzzing. No birds. No cars. No people. No colors. Just the moon crawling across a black sky full of stars. By myself. Music blaring from the speakers :)

Work Tales – oh my GOSH!

This week has been very distraughting :(
ColeMan Sunrise Presentation >> I don’t want to be Iron Butterfly’s pet, I don’t want to be Iron Butterfly’s blue eye girl. All I want is for Iron Butterfly to keep her promises. Iron Butterfly promise me that she will attend the trade show. But in the end, I end up attending the event alone. Even though, I am very thankful that Iron Butterfly was not there for the meeting; because it gave me the opportunity to network, to present my business plan, to voice up my input and to make an impression in front of the President, Sales Manager and the Product Manager of this prestigious American Sport company. However on the other hand, by not keeping to her promises and ended up helping out Celtic and Matte-Marit's department instead of mine; I feel like a stepchild, an abandon child, I will never be Iron Butterfly’s priority. This is not the first time that Iron Butterfly have left me alone stranded.
On Thursday, I also got screwed up by Iron Butterfly for the ColeMan Combo Set. During the interrogation session, I must be the silliest person on earth. It was also scary and terrifying. I understand Iron Butterfly's point of view but Iron Butterfly can never understand the operation pressure and issues that I face.
Yes; I’m not focus, I’m about to collapse, I can’t breath, I’m so inefficient and I’m slacking in my work. A roadmap would be handy. But I don’t have one right now. I can’t feel the connection.

Sunday, May 17, 2009


MU won :(
Well, there is always the next time.
As long as we are willing, one day we will have our own success story to tell.
Not now, but later.

Saturday, May 16, 2009


FRIM (Forest Research Institute of Malaysia) – went on a jungle trekking outing this morning with Trix, Damian, Celtic, Wendy, Stewart and Tin Min. We hike up and down, reach the peak (which is situated at 1000m above sea level), had fun at the waterfall, spent 3.5 hours on the whole adventure trail and ate a leisurely lunch. The only disappointing part is that the park's main attraction which is the Canopy Walkway was closed for maintenance purposes. The place was stunning! Lots of greens, the air is clean, isolated and unspoiled. We had a fantastic day today! And my legs are aching. And I came home for a nap!
I really love the idea of natural living. However, sometimes it just isn’t practical, so I swallow my guilt and happily live with the contradictions in my life that make me; ME (for example - give up my car for a bike?!? bwahaha. yeah right). I’m a bit obsessed about shopping - clothes, books, music, shoes, jewellery, underwear, food. I love going out - dancing in clubs, talking in bars, dining out, house gatherings, parties, barbecues, picnics! I also love the occasional trip to watch movies. So, it’s just not that sensible :)

Work Tales – I want to…but yet I always believe that if you cry, you will lose half of the battle :(
Noro Fair 15th May – 24th May 2009 – I always tell my staff to stay positive, but it looks like we have to face the current reality. Sales are bad. I have to change my motivation tag line to my people from ‘Continue To Stay Positive’ to ‘Let’s Motivate Each Other In Moving Forward’. I really don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like giving everything up and walk away. I am very tired. I’m not meeting deadlines, I can’t cope with the fast pace, I don’t have that energy anymore. I have no motivation to get up, get dressed, go to work or anything. I have no confidence and not a scrap of self-worth. I just want to lie there and sink into a deep dark hole where no one can find me. The funny thing is…a big part of my brain and my heart knows that these things are NOT NORMAL for me.

4 Noro Fair at Subang, Wangsa, Mid Valley and Putrajaya...none of the roadshows are showing positive results. Yet Rufus expect that these 4 roadshows will deliver a total sales value of RM230k for the Sports category. Iron Butterfly is chasing me for the sales updates yet I am very very embarrassed to sms Iron Butterfly the poor sales results. Will get another lengthy lecture on Monday morning. Total screw-up!
For now, I trust everything will fall in its right place.
Deo Non Fortuna, Latin for "Not Through Luck But By The Help Of GOD".

Sunday, May 10, 2009

climb every mountain

Hugh Jackman is hot! *sighs with adoration*. Hehehe. He's absolutely divine.

This movie is a prelude to the X-Men movie series and it introduces the audience about Wolverine’s past from a tragedy in childhood, his relationship with his bloodthirsty brother Victor Creed (Sabretooth), how he came to have those cool, lethal & awesome adamantium claws and ultimately how he ended up with no memory of his past.
The action scenes are great and the special effects are pretty spectacular – it was incredible to watch the cutting edge technology where you can see the claws grow instantaneously; it looks so real. The fun part is seeing so many mutants from the comic books – Wade Wilson (Dead Pool), Agent Zero, Wraith and one of my favorites; the charismatic Remy LeBeau (Gambit). The emotional and drama elements of the film are well handled by the cast as well.
Good watch :)

Saturday, May 09, 2009

mini bencana alam

Work Tales - I'm caught in the eye of a storm :( stupid supplier (1145U) – fucked me upside down. No delivery on Wednesday, promised to deliver on the next day (Thursday) but didn’t turn up either…even have the guts to lie to me; claiming that their transporter is queuing up at the store loading bay on Friday afternoon. When I found out about the truth, the supplier was such a coward that he didn’t dare to pick up my phone call. Same goes for the MD who is in Singapore right now. They have no balls! The MD do not even have the decency and courtesy to apologized and admit their mistake. What kind of MD is this?! And thereafter, I was screwed up by Iron Butterfly because Iron Butterfly got screwed up by the Store Director, Regional Director and even the Merchandize Director for the first day of mailer shortages. The whole department KPI drops because of me. I let my whole team down. My department was the only department that has shortages for this weekend sales. Friday was an ugly day. I really want to kill that supplier right now. They gave me tough time, I promise I will give them difficult time. I am going to hold their payment, pull out all of their future promotion items until they improve their service level. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I don't want to get hurt anymore. I don't want to be fucked up by Iron Butterfly anymore. This incident does bruise my confidence; but I’m soldiering on!

To make matter worst - I’ve this insane migraine popping up. It felt like my skull was about to explode. I felt like vomiting all over my keyboard and although I had several glasses of water (anything else made me feel sick), I still had this throbbing headache. I just wish it didn’t hurt so goddamn much. This was bound to happen. I knew one day…I will get over exhausted. Things are going on so crazy right now. My head felt like splitting. There are 101 things to do everyday. Before I knew it, the day is over. I am living the life of a workaholic right now. I know for a fact that I'm not ready for this sort of pressure; I'm not built for it, but the truth is; I have no choice. I've made this adventurous leap and I guess as difficult and daunting as it's going to get; I'll have to stomach my choices. Both feet in the water…waddle across unknown territoties continue! Haha, it’s not an option for me to say that I'm afraid, and it's not an option to say that I can't be responsible for things either.
It’s a lot of hard work, harder than I expected. But it is good fun. I enjoy the challenge :)