Tuesday, September 30, 2014

memory kitchen

I manage to catch up with Christy today.
Indeed Sabrina did not want a farewell party. Gerrard invited Sabrina twice, twice also Sabrina declines the offer.
This Sabrina can somemore say that Sabrina will not attend any farewell get-together that we organized. Not sporting. Pretend to be low-profile.
Anyway, I think Ursula will also proceed with it because Ursula told me this morning that it’s already on. Sabrina has not found a job yet. Will take a break first. Sure or not? I’m a bit skeptical here. That bad meh? Is the stress so depressing? Does Ursula treat Sabrina that bad? At least, Sabrina’s department is MTD & YTD positive so far. I have none of those. I don’t see why Sabrina needs to leave. No reason at all…

Go, Gordon, Go

Watsapp message from Ursula on a Saturday afternoon. Kacau only.

Ursula: Hi J___. Tesco already down all the price for BTS school. Better do some price check.
Me: :( Yes Ma’am.

People tengah syok bbq daging…this message came through pula. Don’t get me wrong…it’s not about Ursula asking me to do work on a weekend but it’s about my competitor declaring war so early at this point of time.

So…how should I re-act?
Is this stress?
Is this how Sabrina feels?
Is this why Sabrina is leaving? Ursula reminds us to do our work on a weekend.
Well, I still replied back to Ursula. Still respect her mahcelaka betul

Born & Bread

I realized that this Barry very ambil berat of Ursula. In a kepo kind of way :) Hahaha…Barry always ask me how is this Ursula is doing…why I didn’t dress up like Ursula. Please! Ursula is Ursula. Me is me. We are 2 very different person & characters. Barry mention that previously, Ursula’s dressing is very like me. Now change a lot. And drastic too. All is getting more revealing & shorter. Barry commented that I should change too. Follow Ursula’s fashion. No way. That’s not in my DNA, that’s not my personality either. I notice that lately Christy have been changing Christy’s fashion sense as well, leaning more towards Ursula kind of style. I’m not going to do that. I am not that fake. I will be me.

Paku Sisir

Coffee Bean – lunch with Barry & Stephanie.
OMG, both Ursula & Paige saw us. Barry decide to belanja the both of us.
Then, halfway through in the morning, I saw Ursula & Gerrard went out together. I also overheard that Ursula was telling someone that she is going out. So, I thought that Ursula & Gerrard will only be coming back to the office after lunch. Mana tahu, during lunch time, Ursula is already back and went down to Coffee Bean with Paige to get their regular fix. Both of them were so surprised to see the 3 of us having our lunch together. An unlikely lunch group. I think that Barry would like to tell me more about Barry’s relationship with Ursula previously but Barry seems to be holding back. I remembered Ursula once told me before that Barry will not look for her or talk to her unless its necessary. Hmm…I wonder why…

Your beast interest at heart

Ursula did her BTS 2014 presentation.
After the meeting, Ursula came into my room, saying that – we failed again.
But her tone & body language did not signify anything that is so drop dead serious and her face was not that charcoal black at that time. Or either, she was covering it up…don’t want to de-motivate me. So, I meet up with her the following day for the briefing.

Sometimes, I also feel very pity for Ursula. I really want to fight for her, to win the games for her, but it’s really beyond my capacity here. All these mat sallehs directors – sorry to say – they are really, truly, deeply, madly hopeless & useless. They really have no idea on how to run the stationery business, both at the merchandising & operations level. They only know how to shoot back at Ursula that they can do better than us but do not provide the ‘how’. They don’t know what they don’t know. They pretend that they know everything. Pathetic or not. Yes, I am being paid here to fix the business, to grow the business, but if I’m already clueless & hit the wall on multiple occasions…isn’t it about time that the top leaders have to step in to provide concrete solutions, not brining us around the bush, or to do a guessing game.

I’m an abandoned child in a non-priority category. Nobody looks at me. No one sees the plus point of the department. Even the supplier notices that. Everyone only knows how to criticize. Fine…I face the facts…I take it with a pinch of salt…I will absorb all. But, I also believe that God have a plan for me here. I believe that God will make way. I believe that God will lead me & this stationery department, He thinks best.

Istanbul’s#1 Fan

I was in the pantry this afternoon, filling up my water bottle. Then, in came Gerrard…all of a sudden…this Gerrard called up my name. The tone that Gerrard use is similar to the manner how Ursula & Christy calls up my name at times…soft, engaging, manja…OMG. This is scary…coming from Gerrard.


This Ursula is so sampat.
Yesterday, as I was leaving the office…she pssssst me…then, give me the OK hand gesture with a smile…I lantak her lah…I terus go home…and say see ya :) I didn’t even bother to go over to her place and ask what is going on. All I know is that I am very tired these days. Ursula was in Paige’s room…sure got something to do with clearance, disposal…etc.

Better Butter

Today The General resigns! OMG. Within 24 hours.
Over stress wor…I lagilah over stress here…nonetheless…new boss will be on board soon…new boss…means new way of doing things…new ideas…new strategies…let’s see how it goes lah…I always say that I am actually a lalang…now, we have to bergerak mengikut keadaan.

Monday, September 29, 2014


Celtic kepo with me that this Sabrina supplies a lot of office gossip & information to Marcus. That is why Marcus likes Sabrina very much. And Sabrina will be rewarded for it as well. However, I am also very sure…since this Sabrina is so clever to polish shoe…Sabrina will also furnish the same information back to Ursula. But Celtic thinks that Ursula will not reward Sabrina for it. Celtic feels that Ursula will like people that are of value to her. If Sabrina provides the information that Ursula already have…then, it doesn’t serve the purpose anymore.

Big Blue : Raya Moon

Everyone in the office is wondering on why Sabrina is leaving. Ursula told me that its stress. I haven’t had the time to speak to Sabrina yet…so I am also pretty curious too. I am also wondering what is the reason that Sabrina gave to the other colleagues who ask Sabrina this question. Because, if Sabrina said that its stress…then, it will leave a very negative impression on Ursula. It shows that Ursula is a very bad boss :)

Did Sabrina leaves because of the money? If it’s the money, Sabrina could have just asked directly from Ursula…no need to give letter…or maybe this Sabrina miscalculated. Thinking that Ursula will counter offer Sabrina and ask Sabrina to stay…which Ursula did not…I remembered during that mumbling day…Ursula got mention to me that she will not take back the letter.

Well…will Ursula hire new people then? Ursula told me that if she hired someone new with the experience…that person is going to be very expensive. If she hire a totally new newbie, then she have to train him / her all over again. I think at the moment…the safest bet will be for Shawn & Gerrard taking back their respective portfolio. I think they will be very happy too. I am sure that they are also feeling very annoyed or fed up with this Sabrina always calling Ursula Ah Jie.

This Ursula also likes to compare herself to Leonardo…the number of buyers that both of them have. Competing again. Marcus have a bigger team because Marcus’s department is a big division by itself plus the promotion team also reports directly to Marcus as well.

Ursula got asked me whether I want to take up Sabrina’s category or not. It’s a clean department, got annual incentive trip blah…blah…blah…no, not at the moment for me. I still need to fix the stationery category. I want to turn it around, turn it into something that is positive. I will stand up from where I fall. Thereafter, I will leave the company. For good. No more retail for me. Bye bye Ursula. The worst case scenario is that...if I still cannot find a job…then, I will still be in stationery lor. What to do...

Here Be Monsters!

OMG – this Ursula is totally crazy. She is nuts.
She email both Christy & myself at 1.08pm today...regarding the Hari Raya balance stocks action plan…and ask us to reply back to her by 2pm. Our lunch time is from 1pm to 2pm. Hello…just because you don’t take your lunch…doesn’t mean that we don’t eat our lunch ya…well, still I manage to reply back to her by 1.58pm. If I can do it…I will do it for her…if I cannot meet the deadline…then sorry lor…it’s just so unreasonable.

The BoxTroll

Yay! Ursula confirms will be away from the 13th October till 17th October to Canton Fair. She didn’t ask me…so, I didn’t get to go :( Sigh…I’m wondering who she is bringing along this time. Gerrard? Shawn? Christy? I remembered Ursula told me once…during our March sourcing trip…that the October Canton Fair is the most important one…who she is bringing…is her favorite pet…

The ½ Kampung Kid

With Sabrina’s departure…Celtic said that I’ve won already. I have survived the game. But…actually…I feel that I didn’t win anything at all. All of us are colleagues. We are only earning a living here. I have never back-stab or bad-mouthed any one of them. As a matter of fact, I even ask Ursula to take Sabrina to the coming October's Canton Fair. As a matter of fact, I have to work even harder from now on. There are 3 very strong buyers in the team – Gerrard, Shawn & Christy…actually it is Ursula who is doing the work on behalf of Christy anyway. I don’t want to be the last. I don’t want to be the weakest link. I always tell Ursula that I am the most laziest, more unreliable, cheeky, mischievous, naughty among all of them…but I also know that being the last one…being the worst…and being the one that keeps on compromising the team…that feeling sucks as well. Sigh…with this Sabrina’s departure…it makes me have to work even harder for my very own survival…as I am isolated in one corner. Anak terbiar is really anak terbiar. The foster mother and siblings can never treat you as one of their own.

The History Making Samurai

Celtic showed me Ursula’s email. Rupa-rupanya, this Ursula have emailed to Marcus, Leonardo & Paige…informing them about Sabrina’s resignation. There will be a farewell lunch for Sabrina on this Thursday, instead on a Friday because many of our Muslim colleagues will be away due to the long Hari Raya Haji weekend. It will be a buffet lunch. Celtic told me that Sabrina did not want the farewell lunch. Hmm…so…that means…all the people in the office already knew about this news…

The Rocket Server

Sabrina last working day with G13 is on the 3rd October – that means, it’s this Friday. Gosh…that’s fast…only 2 weeks’ notice? Is Sabrina joining the competitors?

Lebih Indah

I cross my heart & hope to die to Ursula that I will not reveal that Sabrina is leaving us. In the end, it was Celtic who came over to inform me about Sabrina’s resignation, followed by Baldwin who told me about it on the next day.

Mula & Akhir

I have found my M13 Offer letter. The letter of appointment was dated on the 3rd March 2005 – it was the same day as Seth’s birthday. I am suppose to start work on the 15th March 2005, with a salary of RM1,650. I will need to undergo an 18 months comprehensive training program, thereafter; I will be assigned to a position, with another 6 months of probation period. Ahh…memories :)

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Fearful Asymmetry

Meaningful moments & lessons on leadership from Cool Runnings.

Cool Runnings, a Disney movie released in 1993, is based on a true story about the first Jamaican bob-sled team that made it to the winter Olympics. Cool Runnings focuses on Derice Bannock, a runner who aspires to make it to the Olympics. However, during the trials, a competing runner unfortunately stumbles, causing Bannock and a few other runners to trip and lose the race. Desperate to get into the Olympics anyway, he eventually finds out about bobsledding as a sport in the winter Olympics. After convincing a retired Olympics bobsledder; Irving, to train him, Bannock manages to form a team from the unlikeliest people – Sanka, his humorous friend, as well as Junior and Yul Brenner, two other runners who didn’t make it through the trials.


In the movie, the Jamaican bobsled team is contrasted against the Swiss team during the Olympics. With the Swiss portrayed as professional and exact, the Jamaicans were shown to be more easy going and fun loving. At the same time, both teams had basic principles of hard work and good team chemistry. There are dozens of certified methods out in the world that can teach us how to develop a team with cohesive teamwork. While most of the methods are relevant and applicable, we must also understand that past the basic principles, no two teams operate the same way. Instead of merely following basic principles in generating good team work, we should also have an understanding of our team and how it works, to help us work together better. Similarly, Bannock who tries to follow the methods of the Swiss bobsled team in order to achieve the same success, is corrected by Sanka – we can’t apply the same ‘eins, zwei, drei’ method to every group project.

Bannock: You don’t see the Swiss team fighting, do you? You don’t see the Swiss team drinking and carrying on and such.
Sanka: And you don’t see the Swiss team smiling neither.


At the end of the movie, the team manages to hold its own and make it to the last round of the competition. Near the finish line, it encounters a bad bounce, causing the old bobsled to go out of control and topple over. Even though it is obviously unable to win, the team continues and finishes the race. With Bannock leading them, the four boys hoisted the sled over their shoulders, walked together to the finish line, and were met with applause and admiration from the audience as well as their competitors.

"Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhythm! Get on up, it’s bobsled time! Cool Runnings"!

"A gold medal is a wonderful thing, but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it".

By Sarah Tan

Lasting Regrets

Life is often constituted by the choices we make and some of them produce regret. Some choices produce much more serious and painful regrets.

Father of mercies, forgive me for the foolish choices
I have made. Please enable me to be wiser in
My choices. Teach me the value of resting
In Your Grace.

God’s forgiveness frees us from the chains of regret.

Water For The World

The living water is Jesus Himself. Those who receive Him have eternal life. But the living water He provides also serves another function. Jesus said of those who receive it: out of his heart will flow rivers of living water. The living water that refreshes us is to refresh others also. As fresh water distribution is uneven in the world, so too is the distribution of living water. Many people do not know followers of Jesus who really care about them. It is our privilege to share him. Christ is, after all, the living water for whom people are thirsting.

Lord Jesus, I want to live for You. May Your
Life and love flow through me as I go about my
Duties today so that others may see You through
Me and be drawn to the living water.

Jesus is a never-ending supply of living water for a parched world.

The Work Of Our Hands

Because you have forgotten the God of your salvation…the harvest will be a heap of ruins. This prophecy serves as a contemporary warning about the danger and futility of thinking we can produce anything on our own. Apart from God, the work of our hands will become a pile of ruins. But when we join with God in the work of His hands, God multiplies our effort and provides spiritual nourishment for many.

Lord, I want to be a part of what You are
Doing in Your world. Apart from You, my
Work is nothing. Lead me, fill me, use
Me. Nourish others through me.

Without Me you can do nothing.

Looking For Zacchaeus

Do we look for Zacchaeus?
He is everywhere, needing Jesus. In what ways can we share Christ’s love with people who need the Savior?

God, guide our steps towards and not away
From those who need you. Then guide our words
And our actions so that we can be purposeful
In our encounter with others.

God’s good news is too good to keep to ourselves.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

...let’s BE…

Liverpool 1 – 1 Everton :(
Captain G opened the scoring and then Everton’s Phil Jagieika injury time equalizer held the game into a draw :( We are certainly not title contenders this season. Is last season a fluke? Aiyo.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Howay The Lads

Liverpool beat Middlesbrough 14 - 13 on penalties to progress into the fourth round of the Capital One Cup after a 2 - 2 draw :) Wah…

Monday, September 22, 2014

The 100-foot Journey

My take on stress…everyone has stress…it’s just how you manage the stress, how you choose to response to it and how you shift the perception on it. Be like Peter Pan – think happy thoughts :) I certainly like being a kid. Like Peter Pan; never grows up. THANK YOU GOD, PRAISE TO THE LORD, BLESS YOU GOD – that at the end of the day, I have my family, my friends & my faith to keep me going.

On Ursula…at first…I find her very difficult…extremly annoying…I always get rejected…but then, I figure it out…that she is not the problem…I am the problem. So, if I do not want to embarrass myself further, to be made to feel inferior, to gain back my confidence & independence…I need to step up…I need to do my homework, understand the figures…before I go and see Ursula. I’m not sure whether I have make any progress or not…positively or negatively…I can only try…there will always be darkness with light, ups with downs. I accept that, and I pray that I will be strong enough to take whatever that comes my way. The more I opened myself to the thought of change, small windows and gradually, bigger doors started opening. Mastering the flow of life is like mastering any new skill or art. It feels like pushing through quicksand in the beginning, then as you get the hang of it, you move a little bit faster, then faster, then you’re trotting, then you’re doing a sprint now and then, and suddenly you feel like you’re running. You feel the wind on your face, the magic of the movement on your cheeks. You feel like you can fly.

Ursula is a good boss…she have done more than her part requires.


Thereafter, in the afternoon…I went into Ursula’s room to get her signatures on some documents…then, she babbles non-stop…as a conclusion…this Ursula just wants to know…where she stands…Ursula keeps throwing questions at me...like…do I give you stress…am I making your life difficult…do you want more attention…

Then, Ursula starts to complain…I think its Sabrina…something that…how come Sabrina have stress…Sabrina doesn’t even come to work on a Saturday, Sabrina goes back home early…I rebutted…I am not defending Sabrina here…but I do see that Sabrina also goes back late at times and put in the same amount of effort as everyone else in the team. Somehow, Ursula seems to be upset when Sabrina ask Ursula to do the second batch of the clearance list…don’t know them lah

The second one that kena complain was Christy…Ursula was babbling something along the line…when you are caught red-handed, don’t lie and further hide the crime anymore…I think it was some mistake (regarding a subclass family) that Christy has done…but put the blame on Ursula…then this Mimi inform Ursula that Christy said that it was a mistake done by Ursula…hahaha…they are so funny lah…Ursula said that she can't trust Christy anymore.

But I am also upset with Ursula…when I ask Ursula; did I make any progress thus far…she did not give me a Yes or a No answer…just say hopefully…that bad meh…well, I guess that I can only try lah

Then, she goes again that she wants to retire…she wants to quit…blah…blah…but trust me…tomorrow morning, she will stand up tall once again.

The point is, there is no point

This morning, Sabrina came into my room twice. The first time, was to ask me for the running date for the CNY 2015 presentation. Sabrina said that Ursula asked them to follow my format…I was quite surprise as I am not sure whether my running dates were correct or not. I just followed the last year CNY leaflet date sequence.

The second time, Sabrina came into my room…Sabrina requested for an envelope. As I was so busy doing my work…I told Sabrina to wait, I will get back to Sabrina later as I need to search where I have put them…so, after I have found them, I went into Sabrina’s room after lunch…Sabrina said that Sabrina doesn’t need them anymore…I told Sabrina to at least take one because I search high & low for it. In the end, Sabrina did obliged. Do you know why Sabrina needs an envelope for? Sabrina tendered! Reason: Stress!

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Thrive, and show no mercy

Lately, Christy & I have been closed. I think it’s because we share something in common…we have a lot of work to do…we never meet Ursula’s deadlines…we always get bash from Ursula…of course, I may have dramatize my part a little :) I think a trust has been built here. But nonetheless, have to be careful…never knows. I think what happen was…last time…Christy will not dare to tell me anything, just in case I will tell back to Ursula…same with me as well. What change was…last week…I took the first step, become more bolder in expressing myself…I was honest anyway...I did not complete my TTA yet, the % for the net purchase & the gross purchase have gotten me into big troubles with my current suppliers, the returning exercise, I have to re-do my BTS 2014 templates multiple times, I haven't even start on my CNY 2015 templates yet etc…similar situations that Christy is also going through…so, we just click a little somewhere there. But still…I have to keep my borders. Ok, will bitch less…don’t get overly excited and over board. Wait for it to all work out.

Place, Space & Identity


God – I certainly don’t know what happen…I cannot recollect whether I actually use the Promotion Template or not…I think there’s a mistake in their findings.

What happen was…Ursula drop the team an email…saying – Well Done because we used the Promotion Template. The email was To Gerrard, Shawn, Sabrina & myself and Cc Christy. Then, scrolling down the email…feedback from the Special Projects Director; mention that only Stationery & the Electrical Team uses the template and the rest of the buyers do not. But seriously…I cannot recall whether I got used the template or not…if indeed I got use…I am sure that it is very minimal only. Nonetheless, this has prompted Christy to call me and asked me, did I really use the template...because Christy was the only person in the team that did not. Ursula also didn't give any face to Christy...Cc to Christy only. Ursula is very cruel at times.

Offbeat & Artful

I know…I am such an embarrassment. I embarrassed not only myself…but also Ursula…what happen was…this Ursula was on leave on last week Friday…I have already submitted both of my BTS 2014 & Christmas 2014 presentation to her…then, because she is not around…both The General & Leonardo requested the templates from me…so, I gave them what I have...what I have given to Ursula earlier on. Leonardo was tasked to compile and touch-up on the templates. The BTS 2014 was ok. The problem was with the Christmas templates…I just took back and uses back the last year templates, just change the figures and pictures here and there. Leonardo notices…of course Leonardo notices because Leonardo did the templates for me last year…and Leonardo asked me whether I want to change them or not…adoi, I already have a lot of work to do right now…I really have no time to go and re-do them…I said NO, then Leonardo questions me, what if the people remembers them and realize that I am using back the last year templates…well…then it’s too bad for me right…but logically people will not remember them because it's already a year has gone by…or not you change it for me lah…oopsie…I know I already say the wrong things…asking your ex-boss to do your templates…which Leonardo is not obligated to do that…whatsmore, it was suppose to be Ursula’s job but she is not here for today. I know…again…I am showing a very bad working attitude here…I don’t take my work seriously, my templates are sloppy, messy & disorder and I certainly have no respect for Leonardo. In the end, I just add in one more slide, that was it. This Leonardo also asks Marcus to take a look on my sloppy job. Marcus was hogging on to the template, even though Marcus have nothing to do with the Christmas presentation. Don’t care if this Leonardo wants to complain me to Ursula on my attitude problem. I am a problem child anyway!

Who ever said chivalry is dead?

Angry! I was very moody, very angry and very grumpy with this Barry on last week Friday.

I don’t know whether this Barry really don’t know how to do the work or just trying to push away the responsibilities to me. I have a very good feeling that it’s the latter. I mean…come on…this is Barry after all…one of the Senior Category Managers. I am already helping you to chase after the suppliers for their feedback. I already break it down for you on what you should do next. 1 bay is shared by supplier FC & PM – writing instruments (pen, pencils, color pencils) and another 2 bays for files, office stationeries, notebooks etc. Now, it’s your job to pick up what are the items that the store wants. If both of the suppliers offer the same generic items, then compare the prices. Don’t simply buta-buta take all. I also have a lot of work to do as well. I agree with what Celtic said – if we are going to do all of these by ourselves – why do we need this Barry for?! I will assist as much as possible – but Barry just has to step up. Don’t care if this Barry wants to complain me to Ursula on my attitude problem.

Feeling Chained?

Nothing is miserable but what is thought so, and contrariwise, every estate is happy if he that bears it be content. The apostle Paul reinforced the idea that the way we view our circumstances is more important than the circumstances themselves. I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. Drew their ultimate satisfaction from God, who never changes.

Do you feel chained to difficult circumstances? God can give you contentment. Lasting satisfaction can be found only with Him, for in His presence is fullness of joy, at His right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Lord, lead me today as You see best. Use the gifts
You’ve given me to encourage others on
Their journey. Help me not to compare
Myself with others but to be content.

When all you have is God, you have all you need.

True Loyalty

Whether we receive persecution or praise for our service to the Lord, may our focus always be loyalty to Him and gratitude for His sacrifice of love.

I am Yours, Lord, yet teach me all it means,
All it involves of love and loyalty,
Of holy service, full and glad,
In unreserved obedience to Thee!

Our loyalty to Jesus grows from His love for us.

Grain On The Mountaintop

Perhaps you think of yourself as a little person, with very little to bring to the kingdom. Take courage: God can produce an abundant harvest through you. This is one of the ironies of faith: God uses the insignificant to accomplish the great. Not many of us are wise or noble; most of us are anonymous and far from extraordinary. Yet all of us can be used. And contrary to what we might think, it is because of our weakness that we can be used by God.

It’s possible to be too big or proud for God to use, but we can never be too little. Out of weakness, we are made strong. By God’s great power, we can do all that He has called us to do.

Lord, You work through such common things
Those of us with flaws and weaknesses.
We are in awe of Your power and humbled by Your
Choice of us. Our hearts long to be faithful to You.

To experience God’s power, we must first admit that we are weak.

No Grace

Father God, the culture around us can seem so
Harsh and hard on people when they fail. Help
Me to show grace and patience, because You have
Been gracious to me and have forgiven my sin.

When we gratefully acknowledge the grace we’ve received, we joyfully give it to those in need.

Gubbins & Doodahs

Liverpool 1 – 3 West Ham.
Frustration :(

Unmask The Dark Knight

Do what you have to do…to do what you want to do – Denzel Washington.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

City Of Refuge

Our city of refuge is not a place. Our city of refuge is a Person - the God who loves us with an everlasting love. May we find our refuge and rest in Him.

Refuge can be found in the Rock of Ages.

Just As I Am

In His Word, the Lord encourages us to seek Him: Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near. He calls to our hearts: Ho! Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters...Incline your ear, and come to Me. Hear, and your soul shall live. Because of Jesus' death and resurrection, we can come to Him right now and will one day go into eternity to be with Him forever. Just as I am...I come!

Let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely.

Scarlet Snow

Ursula praised me – Job Well Done. It’s clean, it’s nice…
This BTS 2014 presentation, so many times I have to made the changes.
Nonetheless, I have to THANK YOU GOD, PRAISE TO THE LORD, BLESS YOU GOD :) for His wisdom. God grant me the wisdom to add in more items into the Office Spring Cleaning Promotion, to insert the price bubbles in red, to remove the item codes & the item description (since from the picture, everyone can recognize what is the item), map out the pictures in different angle, remove the intervals…etc. That one is also the improvise version. My first attempt really sucks. Until Ursula have to jot down for me what are the points to put in. My boss is really a genius here. Well, I am still learning.

German Black Forest

Ursula asked me whether I want to go with her for this coming October’s Canton Fair or not. I said that I don’t want to go. Then Ursula sighed…she said that Shawn doesn’t want to go, Gerrard also doesn’t want to go…Christy is not allowed to go by someone…so here is the interesting part…why Christy is not allowed to go? Who is not allowing Christy to go? And Sabrina is so eager to go. Therefore, I told Ursula to give the opportunity and exposure to Sabrina. Then, this Ursula said that she have to teach Sabrina, jalan with her etc…I straight away and bluntly told her that it’s her job. This Ursula menyampuk that we as buyers…highly paid some more…should know all…but I also told Ursula that people like Sabrina and myself…where we are newbies…should be taught as well. Then this Ursula pause for a while and only mention that I should go with her. If I have to, then have to lor…grateful mah.

Pumpkin Taro

Funny…today Christy came into my room this afternoon…and kepo with me…Christy told me that Ursula send 3 emails to Sabrina this 3am this morning and Christy also received one as well. And Christy also told me that Christy…since Christy have yet to finish all of the contract negotiations…Christy have to see The General to explain by end of this month. OMG. This message was passed from Ursula to a subordinate to Christy. I am also dead meat because I also haven’t finished my contract negotiations too. Arrrgh…

Violet Harmony

We are back in the Champions League after 5 years of absence.
And we beat Ludogorets Razgrad 2 – 1. The bad boy scored 1 and Captain G put in the second :)

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Ethereal Moon

What is the biggest mistake you made in your 30s and what did you learn from it?

They abandon their loftier aspirations.
Twenty-somethings are often willing to settle for a job they are not passionate about, but before they know it, that job turns into their career. An anonymous poster writes that the biggest mistake they made in their 30s was that they got "addicted to a monthly salary", in the sense that they settled for job security over career satisfaction. If you’ve ever wanted to start a business or pursue a side project, it will only get more difficult as your responsibilities increase.

They put their career ahead of family and friends.
Don’t just work. Make memories. The older you get, the harder it is to make meaningful relationships. Foster those while you’re young.

They neglect their health.
That the pursuit of a career can also be a drain on your health. Be healthy. That is priority 1. Don’t get into your 30s being slow and tired all the time. It sucks. Develop an exercise routine, and enjoy your mobility while you’re still young.

They miss the chance to have kids.
CEO coach Alison Whitmire shares a personal story about how she took getting pregnant for granted in her 30s and chose to pursue a new career opportunity instead of trying to have a child. Years later, after a failed pregnancy and then a failed marriage, she remarried and had a baby at 43. She realizes now that no one is ever adequately prepared to have a child, and if you want one, it’s best to do so before it’s too late.

They don’t spend enough time with their aging parents.
Entrepreneur and blogger James Altucher, who is now 46, writes about a particularly difficult memory for him: "When I was 34 I hung up the phone on my dad in an argument and never returned his calls. Six months later he had a stroke and died. A week before that he had emailed me to say hello but I didn’t return the email. I’m sorry, Dad". It can be easy to forget that your parents grow older as you do. Don’t take them for granted.

They don’t set up a financial foundation for the future.
As your responsibilities grow, it can seem like what you put into savings won’t amount to much come retirement, but it will only become harder to start saving in your 40s.

They stop having fun.
Just because you’re not in your 20s anymore doesn’t mean you need to give up enjoying life. Many spent the early half of their adult life chasing money, and it only made them unhappy and more cynical about life. Go on dates with your significant other. Take your kids on trips. Go to concerts with your best friends. Just don’t forget that the money you work to make is useless if you’re miserable.

The Power Of A Name

I love the names of God that describe His magnificent characteristics. God is so wonderfully multifaceted that He has many names that communicate His capabilities and character.

Elohim – the God above all gods.
Jehovah Jireh – the God who provides.
El-Shaddai – the almighty God.
Jehovah Rapha – our healer God.
Jehovah Shalom – our God of peace.
Jehovah Shamma – our God who is present.
Jehovah Yahweh – our loving, covenant-keeping God.

When unwelcome circumstances threaten you and you feel vulnerable, reflect on one of God’s names. Be assured – He will be faithful to His name.

Lord, remind us that your names reveal Your
Character. Help us to remember them in our times of
Need and distress. Thank You for the assurance
That You are faithful to Your name.

God’s names, which describe His character, can bring comfort when we need it most.

Paranoia In Reverse

A new definition of faith: paranoia in reverse. A truly paranoid person organizes his or her life around a common perspective of fear. Anything that happens feeds that fear.

Faith works in reverse. A faithful person organizes his or her life around a common perspective of trust, not fear. Despite the apparent chaos of the present moment, God does reign. Regardless of how I may feel, it truly matter to a God of love.

What could happen if we in God’s kingdom truly acted as if the words of the apostle John were literally true: He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world? What if we really started living as if the most repeated prayer in Christendom has actually been answered – that God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven?

Far, far above thy thought
His counsel shall appear
When fully He the work hath wrought
That caused thy needless fear.

Feeding your faith helps starve your fears.

Look To The Hills

The New Testament tells us that Christ is not only the Redeemer, but He is also the Creator of the universe. There the psalmist challenges us to lift our eyes to the hills to see God, for our help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He alone is sufficient to be our strength and to guide our steps as we make our way through a dangerous and troubled world.

We lift our eyes to the One who keeps us, guards us and overshadows us in the face of all types of danger. He preserves us from evil and keeps us safely in His care for all eternity.

In faith we lift our eyes to the One who is our Redeemer and Creator. He is our help and our hope and our eternal home.

O God, our help in ages past,
Our hope for years to come,
Our shelter from the stormy blast,
And our eternal home!

Christ was lifted up that He might lift us up.

Asking Different Question

The book of Job records the questions Job asks as he sits down with friends to lament his suffering. He had lost his family as well as his health and possessions. At one point, he asks, why is light given to him who is in misery, and life to the bitter of soul? Later, he asks, what strength do I have, that I should hope? And, does it seem good to You that You should oppress? Many have stood near a headstone placed too early and asked similar questions.

But when you read all the way to the end of the book, you get a surprise. When God responds to Job, He does it in an unexpected way. He turns the tables and asks Job questions – different questions that show His wisdom and sovereignty; and questions about His magnificent creation – the earth, stars and sea. And the question all point to God’s sovereignty. God is all-powerful. God is love. And God knows what He is doing.

We comprehend Him not,
Yet earth and heaven tell,
God sits as sovereign on the throne,
And ruleth all things well.

Our greatest comfort in sorrow is to know that God is in control.

Clair De Lune

Happy Birthday Harry :)

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Crimson Opera


FC Pen – so classic of Ursula. My Top 3 best-selling pens models are Click Blue 0.5, Click Asst 0.5 & Click Black 0.5. For this supplier; Box Of 10 new collection – there is no Black color in it. Ursula was the genius here again…committing the quantities for Blue, Asst and create a new Black. She actually thought of it...why I didn't even think about it? The possibility of it? Why it didn't cross my mind? Am I stupid? Am I not paying enough attention to the details? I am not creative?

And then on the other day – it was a look of disappointment on her face. A mixture of anger and frustration. I can feel that Ursula was very disappointed with me. I didn’t mean to challenge her. Previously, the price point format is @ RM1, RM3, RM5, RM7, RM10 etc. Now, with the new CEO on board, it have change to RM2, RM4, RM8, RM12. And seriously, I can’t meet the new price point format. If I follow, than the stationeries items become of no value. Then, Ursula shoot back at me that I have to bring this back to the negotiation table with the suppliers. I am not negotiating hard enough. At that point of time, I can only say that I will try to do better and improve on it the next time. I feel so hopeless. I am so relying on her. Sigh…yeah…it hurts. I will not lie and pretend like I am fine if I'm not. I was not fine at all. We didn’t talk for 2 days. But on last week Friday, we start to talk back again…so, our heart is not that small at all. I HAVE TO STEP UP. I HAVE TO COME TO THE PARTY.

In Ursula’s own words – I will have to slowly, surely and in my own words; steadily finish the race. For sure, I will not be the Number 1, I will not be at the podium drinking the champagne…but at least I finished the race and reach the finishing line.

Tactically, Ursula is very clever, reacts to situations, changes things for the better, see problems and adjust things very quickly. Ursula can play any formation that she wants, she is not scared to change business strategies from time to time or tinker with it as the process is still going on. She is a manager that you want to work hard for and win for. Ursula is a misunderstood character. I have been blown away by how sharp Ursula is and can be. She is also quick to see a problem. Ursula shows her people unbelievable respect, she treats them like her own children and tries her very best to creates a supportive atmosphere to work in. Credits must be given when and where it’s due.

Halfway Kings

The ancient Egyptians believed that we should ask ourselves three questions upon our death. They are:

Did I bring Joy?
Did I find Joy?
Did I leave behind Joy?

The Endleaves

Name my blessings one by one. I shall count my blessing today :)


A couple of weeks ago – both Papa Ham & Mama Ham went for their annual medical check-up. Mama Ham have been diagnosed with Helicobacter Pylori or better known as H.Pylori. It’s a type of bacteria that is found in the stomach. Statistics have shown that up to 85% of people that are infected with H.Pylori never experience symptoms or complications. H.Pylori treatment usually includes several types of medicines. At least two of the medicines are antibiotics that help to kill the bacteria. The other medication causes the stomach to make less acid; to lower the acid levels to help the ulcer to heal.

Well, I am certainly thankful that it is not stomach cancer. It’s something that is curable. Oh Heavenly Father, please put Your Hand on our Mama Ham, heal her, may the readings gradually goes down, may her health improves with the medication that she is currently taking. Please also help to minimize the side effects of the antibiotics on her. Gracious God, please continue to bless our Mama Ham…as she truly deserves so much more. God, I will let You do Your healing. I commit our Mama Ham to You. Everything will be heal in Your time. Amen.

Tempered Mental

Bryan & Evonne’s Wedding @ Connexion Nexus, Bangsar South.

It was a very beautiful & intimate marriage. I think the Wedding Planner & the Floor Manager did a great job. They even have a live band playing. How cool is that? :) Bryan is my godparents’ youngest son. Their eldest son Glenn also came back from Japan. Very unfortunately that my godmother was not around. She passed away a few years ago from lung cancer. Our family used to be very close…but somehow…due to unforeseen circumstances…both families have drifted apart…yes, they have reconciled…but still not as close as before. Nonetheless, a toast to the newly-weds.

It is the wife who provides the climate, the husband the landscape.

Uncertain Times

Believers in Jesus can have peace in the midst of uncertainties because we have the assurance that our Heavenly Father loves His children and cares for our needs. We can bring all our concerns to Him with an attitude of thankfulness, trusting Him to meet our needs and give us peace. The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, writes the apostle Paul will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. To say the peace of God surpasses all understanding reveals that we can’t explain it, but we can experience it as He guards our hearts and minds.

Our peace comes from the confidence that the Lord loves us and He is in control. He alone provides the comfort that settles our nerves, fills our minds with hope and allows us to relax even in the midst of changes and challenges.

Heavenly Father, You are all-wise, all-powerful and
All-loving. In the midst of uncertainties, help me to rest
In the certainty of who You are. I thank You that Your
Peace will guard my heart. I place my trust in You.

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trust in You.

The Jaws Of Death

Many today are trapped under the weight of sin, but our great God can rescue us from underneath those burdens and then send us into the world to tell others that He can set them free.

Thinking it over
Do you know someone who is trapped under the
Burden of sin and needs Jesus’ rescue? What practical
Ways can you be an active agent of Jesus’ love?

Those who’ve been rescued from sin are best able to help in the rescue of others.

Not A Tethering Post

You may have heard the saying, the past is supposed to be a signpost, not a tethering post. It’s easy to become tied to memories of the good old days instead of using our experience to find direction for the road ahead. We are all susceptible to the paralyzing effects of nostalgia – a longing for what used to be.

Though I know not what awaits me
What the future has in store
Yet I know that God is faithful
For I’ve proved Him oft before.

God’s guidance in the past gives courage for the future.

The Growth Chart

Peter encouraged believers to grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus. He said that maturing in our faith prepares us for Christ’s return. The apostle wanted Jesus to come back and find believers living in peace and righteousness. Peter viewed spiritual growth as a defense against teaching that incorrectly interprets God’s Word and leads people astray.

Even when we feel discouraged and disconnected from God, we can remember that He will help us advance in our faith by making us more like His Son. His Word assures us that He who has begun a good work in us will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.

Dear God, I invite Your Holy Spirit
To mould me into the person You want me to be
Empower me to keep reaching for
The holiness I see in Jesus.

Spiritual growth requires the solid food of God’s word.


Life is difficult – and you have to accept that mantra.

In general – my personality and attitude has always been just cruising along, in middle gear, doing & minding on my own things.

But now, I want to Step Up. Be it in Life & Career.

OJ Law

Ta daa…our Watch Project.

I’ve got mine – Fossil Georgia Three Hand Leather Watch Smoke & Rose color. Model: ES3077P. Stephanie has her eye on a blue Tissot. I like the shape & the design. Simple and classic. It will be even better if the leather strap was to be slightly wider but this will do. I love the color. Very adventure-like. Unique and outstanding too. Rose gold is the rage at the moment. And I’ve got it at a very good price too. The retail price is @ RM439. Buying it in their stand-alone boutique has no discount. If you go to a watch shop – maximum that they can only give you is a 10% discount. Fortunately, this watch shop in Mid Valley gave me a 16% discount and I got it for RM360. Thank You God :)

Both Stephanie and myself have been researching around, asking around, shopping around…what an experience…this is also my very first time where I make a purchase for a very proper watch.

And yes, THANK YOU to Stephanie for sticking with me throughout this project. Now, on to many other new things to come :)

The Marquee

+ RM501K
- RM134K
Stock Value @ RM13.5M
Stock Days @ 125 days

The full month of August.

+ RM39K
- RM95K

The first week of September.

Of course, after that…the figures start to tumble down…fret not…I will absorb…I will find my way out…somehow…because my God will carry me through. He walks beside me every day, when I fall, He picks me up to go again…He has his hand on me…He will not abandon me. I have His Comfort, His Courage, His Love, His Confidence, His Favorability & His Encouragement. God will guard my heart, my mind & my soul. He will watch over me. God, You are so so GOOD to me :)


Liverpool 0 – 1 Aston Villa.
Sigh…so inconsistent :( A game that we could have won, a match where we can top Arsenal & Manchester City, we can close the gap on Chelsea. Wasted big time.

Howie Day

Outside is raining.
Bring umbrella.

Aww…Ursula is so sweet…the other day, I was the last person to leave the office. Ursula was the second last person to leave. She drops me a watsapp message. So caring…kind of scary :) Hahaha…

He Calls The Stars By Name

Our hope for today and forever lies in the loving mercy of God who calls each star by name.

The God who made the firmament
Who made the deepest sea
The God who put the stars in place
Is the God who cares for me.

God, who knows the name of every star, knows all our names as well.

Waving The White Flag

Lord, take my life and make it wholly Thine
Fill my poor heart with Thy great love divine
Take all my will, my passion, self and pride
I now surrender, Lord – in me abide.

Surrender is God’s love language.

Dependence Day

I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. Far from being self-reliant, we are totally and eternally dependent on the One who died to set us free. Every day is our Dependence Day.

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford
I need Thee, O I need Thee; every hour I need Thee
O bless ne now, my Savior, I come to Thee.

Our greatest strength comes from dependence on our strong God.

Tender Loving Care

Paul adopted a nurturing attitude when teaching people. He knew believers needed the ‘milk of the word’ for spiritual growth. But he also gave special attention to the concerns of those he cared for. We dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children. Paul said, ‘encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God’. As we serve each other, may we serve with the tender loving care of our Savior, encouraging each other in our spiritual journey.

Dear Lord, help me to be sensitive
And caring as I serve others.
Help me to love others tenderly as You
So tenderly love and care for me.

God pours his love into our hearts to flow out to others’ lives.

A Lesson In Worry

The longer I worry about something, the more my fears weight me down.

King David knew about fear. His whole life had been turned upside down. His son Absalom had stolen the allegiance of the nation of Israel from him and was attempting to take the throne for himself. David didn’t know who was loyal to him and who was against him. His only option seemed to be to run. He said to his servants, ‘Make haste to depart, lest overtake us suddenly and bring disaster upon us’. In a psalm that David may have written while he was fleeing for his life, he wrote: I cried to the Lord with my voice and He heard me from His holy hill. In the midst of his fear, David looked to the Lord. God showed him grace and restored him to the throne.

There are plenty of worries that can weight us down.
But as we release them into God’s strong hands, He will help us through our trials.

Thank You, Lord, that we do not have to be
Weight down by worry. Help us to place our
Concerns in Your care so that
We do not fear tomorrow.

Worry is a burden that God never meant for us to bear.

Who Is This Man?

In His death, Jesus may have seemed powerless. But when we read the whole story, we see that He gave His life willingly. He proved Himself to be the Son of God and limitless in power as He burst forth from the tomb. Grasp the value of His death and behold the power of His resurrection. He’s the Savior of the world!

Up from the grave He arose
With a mighty triumph o’er His foes
He arose a Victor from the dark domain
And he lives forever with His saints to reign.

Jesus’ resurrection spelled the death of death.

Paperplane Pursuit

If your heart is a volcano, how shall you expect flowers to bloom? – Khalil Gibran

Kyoto Protocol

It doesn’t matter who you are, or where you came from. The ability to triumph begins with you. Always – Capital FM 88.9 (Women Is The New Capital); Malaysia’s only English women-centric radio station.