Sunday, August 31, 2008

Saya Anak Malaysia

Happy Birthday Malaysia :)
Toasting To A Bright Future

Saturday, August 30, 2008

rubber ducky

Assortment/Range/Pricing Review - I’ll take each step slowly, one by one. A lot has happened in the last one month. It’s been a helluva roller coaster ride. I am fighting fire with fire everyday. Every corner I take, I experience minor setbacks. Every page I flip, I get a major heart attack. The more I dig, the more shit I find. And I’m right here… experience it all. Life is a wonderful thing indeed!
But the upside - in the office, I'm diligently learning the ropes from my seniors, learning all the tips and tricks they use in business, learning how to negotiate a deal, as well as understanding all the legal and accounting terms involved.
But I’m fucking tired. It’s been a long week and I’m feeling fatigued and like a hollow reed snapped in half. I’m trying my best to see a different side of things, but it’s time for this phase of my life. I know I’ll learn to appreciate all of this someday :)

Don't ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Team Baz

Work Tales – my third week on the job, and it felt like 3 months! Nonetheless, I thank GOD for Rufus. And I’m nominating and encouraging Celtic to go for the top post as well. Celtic has always been plagued by a “wanting to achieve something”. A yearning to stand out of the crowd in a special way. And for someone who is only 28 years old, Celtic is very smart and capable. So, I think it will be a very good platform for Celtic.
Why not myself? And who am I? Absolutely nobody. Just plain old yingze :)

I can sit back and envy others, or I can try to make a difference. I can focus on my inadequacies and insecurities, or I can work to be significant in my very own special way.
So, I choose to live as well as I can. My life is how I choose to live it :)

Meanwhile, so many things have happened.
Tommy have finally resigned and went back home to Sabah. How could The English bully my dear Tommy? :( Tommy is very competent, casual, humble; with understated confidence. The OA dept really loss an anchor. Tommy can go far and rises like a shooting star. The English really don’t know how to appreciate M13 human resources.
There is a new addition in Haakon’s household :)
Guillermo have resigned as well.
Finally I manage to dig out that The Bitch is actually attached with The English in the Commodity Division.
Pietro remains unemployed.
I’ve been told that Atticus is still waiting for me. Not sure how true is it. Secretly (crossing fingers) – I’m hoping that The English will buy over The French. Then, I wouldn’t mind joining forces with Atticus for the Integration Project.
GOD, I feel so lucky. Thank you! Thank you!

I haven’t made any solid plans yet, just a to do list. A year with The French is more than sufficient for me. Even if I’m to stay in this industry, I will be exploring new territories and trying out something new. I’m looking forward in dealing more with the corporate side and at the same time, to get some needed balance in my life. I want to go back to school. I feel like traveling. I want to travel and see faraway places. I also want to climb Mount Kinabalu. I discovered my joy too late in life - but I need to remember that it’s never too late to learn :)

"I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all" -- Laura Ingalls Wilder

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Oh my God, how did I escape that one?

Damn, I'm getting old.

It’s the "Quarter-Life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know about and may not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are right now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with, are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really that cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are just as confused as you are.

You look at your job...and it is not even that close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom again and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life.

You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try to and cling on to the past with your dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing much you can do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know him better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.

Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over again, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself...and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone who is reading this, relates to it just as well. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

**Will stop waiting for things to happen, and instead make it happen myself.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

misery loves company

Dr Meredith Grey's version of the importance of taking risks and trying:

'A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong?
What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves.
We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying'.

Sunday, August 17, 2008


I love Malaysia! Why?...Because of these… :)

(1) Mamak stalls – it’s everywhere, affordable and convenient for hours of lepak; which is the essence of the Malaysian culture.
(2) Holidays for all the major races in Malaysia.
(3) The indigenous tribes of Malaysia; no where in the world where you can find parents persuading their children to get a cool Iban tattoo.
(4) We’ve got the climate that the Westerners are dying for.
(5) Nearly everyone in Malaysia can speak English; thus its easy to get around.
(6) Everyone can speak Bahasa Malaysia; and that’s just cool.
(7) The different dialects in Malaysia are so unique; its like being in a different country.
(8) Nasi Lemak, Roti Canai, Laksa – what’s not to love?
(9) The history of the Grand Malacca and the struggles of our nation’s 1957 Independence.
(10) KL Tower & the Petronas Twin Tower – they looked extra awesome at night.
(11) Plenty of good ‘DVD bargains’ around.
(12) Shopping malls galore that meets everyone’s budget.
(13) Lion dances – pretty…and loud.
(14) Open houses.
(15) The Muhibah Spirit.
(16) Taman Negara in Pahang – we have a thousand-years old rainforests.
(17) Baju Kebaya, Cheongsam, Sari – traditional and sexy.
(18) Orang Utan :)
(19) Jimmy Choo, Zang Toi, Michelle Yeoh, Alex Yoong, Nicol David.
(20) Tan Sri P.Ramlee. Now that’s a legend.
(21) For the spirit of Malaysia Boleh!
(22) Durians!
(23) Gunung Kinabalu.
(24) We have a King and Sultans that reigns in each state (and the Prime Minister who rules) – a very unique coalition system.

Friday, August 15, 2008

my love will get myself home

These are my daily adventures - Fun. Serious. Fast. Slow. Brainy. Bimbotic. Intense. Lazy. You get the drift. But I’m the eternal optimist. The peacemaker :) Our life is an occasion! Let’s rise to it.

*I have decided – whether I make it or I don’t make it; whether I succeed or failed; in one’s years time…my journey ends here. M13 - what I found was magic, and I have lost everything when I left.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Love seeks the good of the beloved

Tired. Tired. Tired.
Nonetheless, am thankful for the gift of life :)

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Boil porridge with a sibling or two

Beijing 08.08.08 Olympics!
The symbol above - it’s the seed of a strong, signature image. Proud! :)

Friday, August 08, 2008

Stay Tuned

in conjunction with this Merdeka month:
(i think this song should be make as Malaysia’s 51st birthday theme song) :)

- Words & Music by Pete Teo featuring rap by KLG Sqwad & Altimet

Hold on brother hold on
The road is long. We’re on stony ground
But I’m strong. You ain’t heavy

Oh there’s a misspoken truth that lies
Colors don’t bind, oh no
What do they know? They speak falsely

Here in my home
I’ll tell you what its all about
There’s just one hope here in my heart
One love undivided
That’s what it’s all about
Please won’t you fall in one by one by one with me?

Push back sister won’t you push back?
Love won’t wait. Just keep pushing on
Yes I’m strong. You ain’t heavy
Oh don’t you worry about that…
What we have shadows can’t deny
Don’t you know it’s now or never?

[Bahasa Malaysia]
Bertubi asakan berkurun lamanya
Hati ke depan mencari yang sayang
translation: Years of fears and years of tribulation
The heart keeps searching for that endless devotion

shou qian shou da jia yi qi zou
wo dai biao hua ren kai kou wei lai jiu mei you diu zou
translation: Hand in hand we’ll march like blood brothers
I speak for my people we’ll find peace forever

in the payanam payanamm yen vettri thaagam
anthee kaana kaalam naam vetri raagam...nanba nanba
translation: May the road ahead quench my thirst for success
May the road behind echo a song of the blessed

Yes I feel it in my bones and I will let it be known
No matter where I roam this is home sweet home

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Is it seriously over rated and anti-climatic?

Malaysia politics at the moment – it’s like a circus.

All the rakyat wants is a good government.
I understand that the Barisan Nasional cannot accept that they have lost, that they no longer has the majority of the parliament seats – facts that are hard to digest but life have to go on. They have to adapt. Stop the internal bickering! Why want the Prime Minister to step down by the end of this year? Because he failed in leading the March 2008 elections to victory? He needs to take responsibility for it? If it’s so…then every minister should step down. How sure is everyone that the Deputy Prime Minister can lead the BN to triumph in the next elections? I don’t care whether the DPM is involved in the Mongolian murder case or not; but the damage has already been done, his credibility is in doubt, his image tarnished. The DPM cannot immediately ascend the PM throne. There has to be a transition period where things take place in a scheduled manner. It’s the only way things can be arranged properly. If the handover is done by this year end – I think it’s a rush of things.

And what’s this about secret discussions with PAS in forming governments in Opposition states? UMNO merging with PAS? PAS is pro-Islamic theocracy while UMNO is more liberal. You think all the Wanita UMNO can live with PAS hudud laws? They will gaduh :)

Then there is the very ambitious Anwar Ibrahim with his second alleged sodomy scandal and his plans to form the next government by Sept 16. I don’t think he is that careless to commit the sodomy crime for the second time after what happen in 1998 (if indeed he is that 'type'). Forming the next government? Bolehkah? Not an act of vengeance? Courageous enough to rub the NEP off the whiteboard?

History is a classic example of human error. We are our own downfall.
With all these talk on politics around the country these days, I’m not too sure where I stand anymore :(

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Duniaku, Selamanya

Yesterday was my first day reporting for duty at The French camp – we had a whole day (0900 – 1800) of Orientation at their Sri Petaling area office conducted by a very bubbly HR chick called Siti.
The first part of the program, we watched their corporate video, then each of us (the newbies) has to do a self-introduction, we listened to Siti’s presentation on the establishment’s vision, the organization chart, the committee members, the steering committee, corporate strategies, corporate identity, past achievements, up-coming projects, the various divisions, HR issues and lectures on business securities and IT.
Overall, it was educational – a very professionally done Orientation.
Heck, they are in the top 500 fortune companies; that means there is a certain level of professionalism & business etiquette expectations.
I also bumped into Peggy, Khanti and Sho (ex-M13) :)
Then Guillermo texted me that The English have bought over The French and have already signed the MOU. I can only say – that I’m destined to work with the English.

* I loved to drown myself in the silence - surrounded by my thoughts, dreams and fantasies :) You forget about yourself. Your silly little problems. Your layers of burdens that revolve around you you you. It puts your life into a larger context. It gives you meaning :)