Sunday, November 30, 2008

killing me softly

Top 500 Leaders Convention 2008, Sunway Pyramid Convention Centre – there were so many people there! I met up with some of my Division Managers & Sales Managers. I had such a wonderful time talking to everyone, laughing, chatting, eating, floating and just being me.
The French has a new vision, a new goal, new strategies, new priorities, new values and a new tag line. Our 2009 direction. It covers Business Model, Leadership, Branding & Communication, Management Development Program, Increase Productivity, Employee Satisfaction and Corporate Social Responsibility.
There was also assessments on our present situation, successes & failures and opportunities. Speeches, presentations and tributes of the past were very powerful. Everyone was really charged up. All of the Commex Directors was fantastic. They were charming, warm, personal and every question was answered clearly & concisely, with good humour and genuine excitement. With tough domestic competition, the team needs to focus, consolidate and compete more intelligently & aggressively. You feel like you’re a part of something big :)

Iron Butterfly have also make things crystal clear. If you are running now, you have to run even more faster. If you can’t keep up with the tempo, you better surrender and leave. Iron Butterfly wants a strong team and eliminate weak teammembers from slowing down the whole team.
I may be exhausted but so far, there’s a lot to learn, and I want to learn it all. I learn a lot of things from Iron Butterfly which I know will help me to live my career life better and stronger. I’ve just finish my one-to-one session with Iron Butterfly on the Tropicana Project. I’m always nervous when there are such sessions. What if I didn’t know the answers? How am I going to justify the logic and reasonableness? How am I going to explain the tricky parts? The meeting went alright. I had some good stuff going on; and of course there are some bumps as well where I need to make some changes here and there.

I always wonder why I end up doing the same stupid mistakes - repeating them over and over again. Yes, I’m very young, some people have even mention that I don’t deserve to be where I am today, I’m raw, I may not handle or manage things well but I think I have the potential to grow. All I need is for people to invest their time, knowledge & experience in me; doing it willingly, generously, gracefully and graciously :) That's how you create future leaders.
I admit; I’m a slow learner :) Different people have different learning capabilities.

I'm going to take a lot of risk next week. It’s nothing big really, but like all risks, it requires a great deal of trust and optimistic hopefulness. An old friend used to label me 'fatalistically optimistic'. I'll require that, a lot. (I still feel a little bit of fear) :)

My brain is full of ideas, plans, strategies, schedules. Yet I can just feel something inside of me looking for that moment of rest. That quiet place.

The year’s gone by quite fast. Initially I thought it’d take ages to get through.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

yes, i will run the race - do not wait

Whistling in the dark. To be confident that something good will happen when it is not at all likely :)

I mean work has been distressing, holding the fort alone, not to mention plain boring and dull. Ocassionally I just wander into the abyss which is the black hole in the milky way – asking myself what am I doing here? Sigh…

Saturday, November 22, 2008

i am still the girl who...

I’m so heartbroken. I’m so de-motivated. No matter how much effort I put in, no matter what I do – at the end of the day; the numbers do not reflect my numerous effort, it does not justify all of my hard work & time. There is no sales satisfaction.

This is the most challenging category that I have ever encountered. The nature of the whole thing is so seasonal – it fluctuates like nobody business! I realized that I have to bang the right items at the right price at the right time. It’s not like the Appliances Category where there is new product development every month. It’s not like the Stationary Category where it is an everyday fast-moving routine items. It’s not like the HouseHold or the DIY Category where there are so many assortments to play around with.

Did I NOT do something right? This crazy life is wearing me down; and now I just want to go home to the big Australian skies. Iron Butterfly is as demanding as ever. I wish I could do more. I’m beginning to detest of going into work…the “drag myself out of the bed” feeling is getting to me. I need to motivate myself and feel positive to want to go to work. I’m kind of worried that I might jinx things again. I don’t want that. I wish I knew what to do and that I’d stop feeling like I don’t know what’s going on.

Right now, I can’t think of anything more satisfying than sitting in front of the TV, eating take-away, lights down low, in my pajamas and watching crap on TV. I’m a home girl at heart :)
So I think I am ready for 27!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

dig for diamonds, don't chase butterflies

G.K. Chesterton: "I own my sucess to having listened respectfully to the very best advice and then going away and doing the exact opposite".

Friday, November 14, 2008


you struggle through a nightmare week; enduring the pressures and strains of modern working life. by the time you stumble into the bathroom on a friday morning, you're already muttering the mantra of the stressed out: THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

more than you

life will never be easy. it's like the mountains. after scaling one mountain, you'll find there will be a bigger mountain before you. but what makes this journey worthwhile is that you stop and smell the flowers. sometimes you have to look for these flowers, but i believe you will always find what you look for :)
so always be grateful of what you have and appreciate them.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Burn Notice

I re-read back all of the post that I have blogged since 2005! Whew! :)

The stories - the difficult times, the tears, the conflicts, the shouts, the insults, the joy, the happyness, the thankfulness, the gratefulness, the grace…it was indeed a gorgeous time for reflection. Perfect for re-charging my soul. Remembering that no matter what happens; life is what I make of it. I need to go through the whole growing up process to be a better wholesome person.

At the end of the day, the only things that truly matter in our life are love, family & friends and good food. Remember to live in the moment. Do not be so consumed by the past or the future and to enjoy every second in life to the fullest :)

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Saturday, November 01, 2008

brave new world

Happy Belated Deepavali :)
This year I celebrated the Festival Of Light at S house. As I couldn’t find the right Hamper (they were pricey and the contents were not so practical)…I bought S a birthday cake instead…knowing that the next day will be her big day at 26th :)
S’s mum made an amazing platter of curries – chicken, mutton, veggie and shrimps. 2 thumbs up – they were drop dead delicious :) The dishes were amazing! The house was filled with the smell of the food, pastries, cookies & treats – it was sensational!

Metrojaya Warehouse Sales; Shah Alam Stadium.
All the garments seemed well priced, however a lot of their tops were of smaller sizes (which i can't fit in), everything was of good quality, big brands galore and unique designs. I am very prudent on how I spend my money (i’m a cheapo)…even though I am always on the look-out for good bargains but warehouse sales like this is certainly not my thing. I don’t like crowded places. So I ended up buying 2 CDs at RM9.90 each :)

The HeadHunter called…somehow; I’m always fated to be in that department. I've cross-checked with Juan, I may be attached to the Books & Music section – under Atticus’s charge. The only sure thing I have right now is my work…maybe. I don’t know what I’m going through currently…it’s like this directionless phase where nothing seems to matter. Shit!
The only thing that I’m dammed proud of myself this week is that I’m the only Sports Buyer available in the market. I’m pretty proud of discovering this piece of information, but at the same time I’m not surprised. The market is having a shortage of buyers. Celtic is the most in-demand buyer at the moment. Celtic is so arrogant these days. What a show-off. I’m in the half-past six category :) I probably am stupid, but to be made to feel inferior is not something I want to happen too often.
I’ve a work review coming up soon…I hate it when Iron Butterfly introduces me to everyone as the sporty one. I watched sports but I don’t play sports! That doesn’t make me sporty! We just don’t think the same. And that’s dangerous :) I don’t think I have accomplished much…I don’t even know what to say on the review day…shit!