Sunday, March 11, 2007

I am but a tiny speck in this world

I missed the first interview. And once the CNY was over, I didn’t call back or email to fix for an appointment for the second interview. I just couldn’t be bother, not like Tommy who immediately keeps in touch with the secretary to arrange for the date. My actions were considered rude. The British structure is already cramp to the max, deep down; I know that I have a zero chance of surviving. I’m at the bottom of the hierarchy – how am I going to compete with people like Aurora, Joachim, Guillermo, Juan, Seth, Pietro, Thor, Celtic and the rest. Then to my surprise and everyone else’s, I was called for the second interview on last week Friday. They went huh?? Why would they interview that small fly for? We are mighty and could have swapped her off the radar?
My would-be director, my would-be manager and a HR Specialist (that was specially flown in from the UK for this integration process) came to meet me. I was not intimidated by them, as a matter of fact; I was damn ready for them. There was a vacancy and they think that I am suitable to fill in that position. Technically, it’s a promotion - without an upgrade to my current package :( I got a very good feeling that they want me to fill in that position.
But I have made my decision. It’s just not worth it; the arrangement doesn’t motivate nor tempt me to drive all the way to their base. People will start gossiping on how stupid my decision will be, how foolish I am to let go of this golden opportunity, what an idiot to refuse such an offer, why so impatient and then I will have people who will come up to me and start talking me out of it like Lucius did.

(Deep breath) It’s hard to let go. The category is my baby, I nurture it and now I’m seeing results. The rewards are so fruitful :) It was a dirty old playground when I was given the assignment, I was the architect – I put in new fixtures, I paint bright colors, I did the hardscape & softscape…of course it has not reach cash cow status, but you can see that it was a piece of work where so much of hard work and effort were put into it. Those are my achievements to be proud of so far. If the British have not bought over M13 last year, I would be able to have all the time in the world to execute all of the pending projects to grow the category. I’m really going to miss all of these very much. I am enriched for having been raised in such an environment; despite the imperfections but that doesn’t mean that I’m obliged to stay. It’s time I have to earn my own way in another path and I won’t be expecting any free handouts as usual.

I have been a miserable little lump all week, feeling bare & sore – which is not a good thing at all. A friendly reminder to myself - continue to have passion for life and passion for the small, simple, everyday happyness. Right at the top of the menu is to eating healthier, being more active, focusing on reducing stress in your life, spending more time with friends and family, having fun and basically enjoying the everydayness of life. The things that count most, I guess :)

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