Saturday, October 20, 2007

shit happens

Had a lunch appointment with Jesz at Uncle Lim’s, Subang Parade. Catching up; we are college mates (former Olympians) and now The Circle are all grown up. Engaged. Getting married. Buying a house. Starting a family. It’s all happening :) And it’s happy scary because all of a sudden, we are in our mid-twenties, and the late twenties are quickly approaching.

My Pa was involved in a car accident on the Penang Bridge. Thank GOD, nothings happen to him, only Benz was injured. Somehow, with this incident; where a different picture could have occurred, I’ve learnt to treasure my family more. Realizing that GOD could have taken my parents away when their time comes without even giving me a warning. Quality time.

Nothing happens! I began to lost count the number of my failed attempts in my Seeking Assignments. Confidence and Faith are dented, bruised and wounded :(
When I say that it is boring, it does not mean that there is nothing to do, there are lots to do. Boring is when there is nothing to learn! I don’t want to sit in my cubicle and work, work on routine tasks where the process could have been automated in the first place. I’m not saying that I’m destined to do bigger things or challenge the world…I just want to learn. I do not want to remain stagnant. Why I keep on emphasizing on learning and experience? It’s because I want to do THIS in 2018. That is why I cannot remain stagnant and wasting my time. I need the exposure. If I’m not doing THIS, might as well, I just sit in the cubicle for good. And the environment…the surrounding, the people – unhealthy! I cannot believe that I am still alive :) I feel trapped. It's like I’m boxed in… I know there's an exit to this, but it's nowhere near me.
I have a lot of fear in me right now. I think this year would have been a good year if I never did what I did. Things would’ve been a whole lot different. Not better, not worse, just different. It’s still something I want but different; unlike now.

Aside from feeling frustrating, I’ve been feeling really lazy these last few days. It must be all this wet weather. Haakon & Fredrik notice. Oops…

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