we live and we learn

I attended a Stress Management Training class today :)
Before the class started, I already got stress – the trainer pass around a 37 pages Stress Management booklet :)
There were a lot of games, discussions, brainstorming sessions going around, it was quite fun but a bit dull. The trainer was pleasurable; it looks like he was having an enjoyable time with us…I guess it feels good to help people, to put in the extra effort and to do it without expecting anything in return.

Stress…it’s like I have something evil inside of me. An evil version of me :) It knows everything about me. It knows which buttons to push. It knows exactly what to say to make me cry. It brings everything that is good inside me, down. Some days I am so down, that I am literally paralyzed. Paralyzed with an overwhelming cocktail of sadness, self-loathing, confusion, uncertainty and insecurity. It’s suffocating and relentless. And these feelings will grow and grow AND GROW until it’s so intense, I’m utterly consumed and I can’t function normally.
I have to overcome it with positive thinking. Rational thought. Being optimistic. Using the power of the mind. Or simply distracting my mind with something else. Surround myself with happiness. Arrange time with my family. My friends. My favorite places. My favorite music, foods, flowers, chocolates, long strolls at sunset, a manicure, a new dress and some pampering.
Thankfully, all this comes and goes. I might get it for 3 days, then things will be fine for a couple of weeks. Then it’ll hit for 4 days, and then settle down again. I’ve learnt how to ride my own depression, knowing fully that it will disappear if I manage things & people better. I can see the end.