These last few days, I’ve been thinking a lot about boyfriends, relationships, marriages & children. Because I have been bombarded with these questions non-stop from everybody since January this year till today – Do you have a boyfriend yet? When are you getting married? You are not young anymore, you know? Who will take care of you when you are old?
And sometimes, I feel clueless on what is the right method or answers in answering their questions without offending them. Like every woman, yes; I too desire to have my own family. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. My main ambition in life is not to get married, be a stay-at-home-mum. For now. I’m sure there are a lot of young ladies out there who is in the same situation as I am. This unnecessary pressure is very annoying isn’t it?
"Why do people get married? What do you think two persons are after when they get married?"
To that, I had turned on my most cynical side and said, “For that extra income via joint finances. To pacify the parents. To answer to the girl’s parents. For logistics reasons. For legal rights to each other’s assets. To have legal sex. To give legitimacy to babies.”
Seriously, with time I’ve found that I have more confidence; I’m more sure-footed and I don’t fret over these small things…I want to be happy and do what I want. I really want to debunk the whole culture of ‘being alone is sad’. Yes, you may not have the husband & children beside you, but you have other family members, friends and community to support you.
Life is meaningless only if we allow it to be. Not necessary, spinsters live a sad, lonely and dreadful life ok. Each of us has the power to give our life meaning. To make our time, bodies and words into what we want.
1 comment:
i know what you mean. i dread having to answer those "when are you getting married" and more particularly, the "how come you don't have a boyfriend yet". they love to let me know that my expiry date is coming along!
i don't particularly want to get married - but i am not against it either.
it's just that i don't understand why they have to measure how well i've done by whether i am married or not (and to whom) and how many babies i have popped out.
it seems like no matter how many centuries on - women are still considered to be procreators....
it's fine for a guy to go on and no one will ask him =/
Post a Comment