sayiwon't

:( Sigh …Snow Petrol refused to release me…and now I ended up doing D31-F portfolio and handover my D33 Bicycle, Camping, Sports & Nautism and D34 portfolio to the newcomer; Edward instead. What happen was…Abby resigned with immediate effect from the HardLine Team because Courts Mammoth was so generous & willing to pay out for the 3 month’s notice compensation. Thus, leaving the Small Appliance category vacant and with urgency, Stewart ask me whether I want to take over the position or not. If I want, Stewart will quickly arrange for an interview session with the HardLine Director and then proceed to get me transferred out soon. I considered and said Yes. I mean, it’s the same level of position as what I am currently doing right now and the position has 2 assistants…why not right? Better than doing D33 & D34. Doing D33 is still ok, still manageable but when you add on D34, it’s really killing me. For D34; where got fire, I just put out the fire. The job is just too much that I can't focus both on the same time. Quantity, but no quality. Besides, my job title glorifies what I do. The position is called Manager. I only manage myself, the suppliers and the store team. What manager is that? So I see it as an opportunity to try a new category and stepping up to learn about managing my own staffs. I know it’s embarrassing to show to my boss that I am weak, but in order for me to survive long, it makes me re-assess my current situation and I decide to speak up. Yes, it makes me realize with my capabilities & resources, I know what I CAN and CANNOT do. It makes me choose. And cull. I’m so sorry but I tried. I just wasn’t as good as they are or as they expected.

Then the dilemma starts. The HardLine Team & the SoftLine Team are neighbors. Snow Petrol and the HardLine Director…both of them looks ok on the surface but in actual fact, the both of them are very competitive; always competing with each other. I know that I need to handle the situation well. I respect Snow Petrol. I seek for Snow Petrol's permission for me to meet up with the HardLine Director. I want Snow Petrol to hear it from my own mouth, instead of hearing it from other people. The latter will not be good. So Snow Petrol firmly said no and I ended up doing Patrick’s portfolio. I am shock. I thought Snow Petrol will retain me in my current position but with additional manpower such as an assistant or a management trainee. Or worst come to worst, if I do not have any additional helper, I will choose to leave once I got my year-end bonus and a new job. D31-F is a very big department, no doubt less suppliers compare to D33 & D34. The hugeness of it…it’s very weighty. I’m in the spotlight right now. I have to re-learn and start from scratch. And like other department, there is a set of problems that I need to solve, there are areas that needs to be improve and there is the assortment review that needs to be done. I have to start from the bottom again; to learn about the items, to understand the nature of the business, to get back the suppliers & the store support.

It has been a very trying time for me. One day harder than the next. My shoulder feels heavy. My steps are slow. My mind fogs. Sometimes I want to scream. Yeah, I know that just like playing football, sometimes I will missed games, sometimes I will have better games.