Me Inc

Yesterday I celebrated my 29th birthday…I am now 29 years old…wow!

Suddenly life seems so long. I’m almost done with my 20s, but I’ve got my 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond to think about. When I get deep in thought about it, I panic terribly :) About what I’m going to do for my work, for my money, for my happiness, for my family, for my friends, for my personal goals...for myself. And then I snap out of it thinking, oh for God’s sake, stop it - I have so much right now. Thank you GOD, Praise to the LORD, Bless you GOD for putting me where I am today, for all of your rich & generous blessings that have been showering upon my family & me non-stop.

Reflecting the years of 2001-2011 put together has indeed been a decade of real change for me. The past 11 years have been like a path of self-discovery. I have transformed from an insecure teenager to an independent & confident adult. Moving from student life to the working world was both exciting and scary. A nine to five job, the responsibilities & the commitments were huge words to digest for a fun loving, happy-go-lucky girl. I was single, irresponsible, emotionally insecure, seeking out relationships to find my own happiness in life, a creative but naïve young woman, working in the crazy rat race of merchandise retailing. My mid-20s was somewhat like a quarter life crisis for me. I questioned the meaning of life. I feel like I haven’t found my calling in life yet…and I’m still searching for it. Hopefully, it’ll come or I’ll find it soon. It was not easy for me, because I have to let go of things that I’m bitter about too. But I have to do it because I don’t want my days ahead to be filled with anger, guilt and sorrow. I also do not denied that I have also missed out on the unlimited possibilities along the way. It kept me safe from harm no doubt about it but I also lost my vitality, the jole de vivre. Goals & ambitions are important to have, but I really cherish those precious moments. Sometimes…you just need to be. I survived it all :)

I must admit, I don’t feel this happy and appreciative every day. Most days I’m too busy or stressed out or feeling down or my mind is just whizzing around. But today, I felt a great clarity, a great calmness, and a deep contentment. And it makes everything seem magical.

I am who I am. I'm always going to have that little sort of - how do you say? Child streak :)
Life is short. Live it.