ME

I don't need to be anything other

Than a prison guard's son

I don't need to be anything other

Than a specialist's son

I don't have to be anyone other

Than the birth of two souls in one

Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from

I don't want to be

Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

All I have to do

Is think of me and I have peace of mind

I'm tired of looking 'round rooms

Wondering what I've got to do

Or who I'm supposed to be

I don't want to be anything other than me

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn

I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn

I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn

Am I the only one who noticed?

I can't be the only one who's learned!

I don't want to be

Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

All I have to do

Is think of me and I have peace of mind

I'm tired of looking 'round rooms

Wondering what I've got to do

Or who I'm supposed to be

I don't want to be anything other than me

Can I have everyone's attention please?

If you're not like this and that, you're gonna have to leave

I came from the mountain

The crust of creation

My whole situation-made from clay to stone

And now I'm telling everybody

I don't want to be

Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

All I have to do

Is think of me and I have peace of mind

I'm tired of looking 'round rooms

Wondering what I've got to do

Or who I'm supposed to be

I don't want to be anything other than me

I don't want to be

-Gavin DeGraw: I Don't Want To Be-

BURP!

The Awesome Foursome: Yesterday was great! We can really eat! Such pigs we are! Yesterday we ate non-stop! From 12 to 2.30pm, we were at GENJI – replenishing our plates with fresh oysters, raw salmons, sushis & sashimis, tempuras, grilled squids & mussels, cakes and ice cream :) The quantities that we took certainly can feed 10 mouths! Plus the RM56 was certainly worth every cent. To bad Miss Klein and Trix couldn’t join us. GENJI is a really nice place to have an intimate Sunday lunch – the place is well spread so the people won’t just crowd in one area, they have high ceilings, very detailed authentic tradition Japanese furnishings – you just feel like you’re in Japan. It’s very different from the commercialized-modern interiors of the Sushi King franchise and the other sushi bars.
Once the buffet ended, it was early for us to call it a day. So, we decide to meet up with Kakak – went down to Subang Parade for Coffee Bean! We sat there for an hour – I was so tempted to have a go at their moist chocolate cake, but knowing that my stomach cannot stand another heavy food component, I settle down with a Vanilla Ice Blended instead. Then, we were off to perfume shopping. Kakak wants to buy a perfume but a bitchy, provocative yet sexy fragrance – apparently it’s not that easy to fine – what’s more we can’t agree on one smell and have very differing taste & opinions. Like I love CK, BodyShop and Ralph Lauren because they are fresh, sporty, urban and spring – they think it’s too sweet; no personality. Lauder & Dior are no-no for me – so auntie! Well, finally Kakak decided on a Burberry London – which Nikolai uses...to spray mozzies (serious)! The Channel was not that bad either but Nikolai commented that it was a cross between the minyak angin and Ambi Pur :)
Without realizing, it’s already 7 in the evening and Kakak is already hungry – so we went to TGI’s Friday. I know that Tommy, Nikolai and myself would love to have a main course but with the heavy lunch getting in our way…we had finger food instead – fried calamari and a seafood platter.
When I got home – I was really stuffed…I’m sure last night my stomach was working overtime to digest the load :)

Waking up this morning – I still feel full :) Didn’t do much today, went down to SS2 to get some torture from my Dentist. I’ll be a couch potato tonight :)

Just About Anything & Everything

Celtic took 2 days off – all of a sudden; which is weird because Celtic is a workaholic! I’m just curious on how Celtic will spend the 2 days – will it be a time for reflection or worst – master mind-ing some evil-down-fall plans. I know I’m being paranoid and yes the feeling of insecurity is there. With Celtic’s absence from work, I took the opportunity to discuss the issue with Seth. Of course Seth is fully aware of the problem from the beginning and acknowledges it. The reason that no corrective actions are being taken is because Seth doesn’t want to be too confrontational. Excuse me – this is not provoking, this is about solving your employees’ problem before it get serious, before it is firmly rooted…it cannot and should not be avoided & buried and just forget-about-it kind of thing. So I am the bad girl but I’m glad that I brought it up.
I will be on leave (again!) on next week Monday & Tuesday (to clear my last year outstanding leaves) and when I come back on Wednesday, I’m not putting any high hopes for things to change because it can’t happen in a blink of an eye. But at least I want to see that we are putting in efforts to make things better. If things don’t work out, it just doesn’t but at least the try is there. Boss & Co. has smell that something is brewing among us – they cannot pin point what it is now but they being very smart people will probably be able to figure this out very soon.

My CV has generated interest from 2 companies. I’m not being picky but I can’t have so-so salary where my logistics expenses are a hill high. Yes, graduates has been reminded constantly by the government and professionals that they should be grateful that they even have a job and don’t bother about the pay so much but I can’t live from month to month with a minus figure in my book. I need to cover all of my expenses and leave some for saving as well. I feel that the companies these days take the country’s graduates for granted just because the supply is more than demand. Just imagine – the latest employment trend is to give a new recruit a one-year working contract. If the new recruit’s performance is deemed satisfactorily, the recruit will then be given 6 months probation before being confirmed as a permanent staff. If the contract letter does not state any salary adjustment within that 1-year of contractual employment, then the new recruit will not have an increment and the increment will only be given once the probation ends. That means the company saves a lot of money and you’re a cheap labor.
And our wise DPM said don’t job hop, be loyal to the company that trains you. Thank goodness that the professional experts out there disagree with him. Yes, we should not job-hop frequently like every year because it reflects bad on us but we do need to job-hop that will leads us to better things. We shouldn’t be loyal to companies that don’t give us a sense of ownership and security.
5 years – ok, don’t go to far – 3 years down the road, when I read this back…I hope I’m in better position and can laugh this one off :)
Let’s see how it goes for me because I want my second job to be better than my current one. I will continue to look around but I don’t want to rush…but I think I will hang around in M13 for a while. If things do get worst, I still have to swallow them until a better offer comes along…rather than being jobless. Sending those CVs earlier – I was panic :)

I woke up at 6.45 am-ish this morning to send my sis to school as she had a school excursion. It’s so nice to drive early in the morning – a bit chilly and so quiet and the best part is that there is no traffic! No annoying beastly drivers around.
Tomorrow will be going to PJ Hilton for a Japanese buffet with Juan, Tommy & Nikolai – looking forward to all the colorful sushis and oysters. I’m drooling right now :)

The Darker Spectrum

I’m on leave today :)
I have upgraded my CV this morning and now I’m sending them out while ranting this.
Trouble is looking for me and I’m in deep shit right now. Yesterday evening – before I left, I sort of blurted out how I feel of the whole situation to Celtic. It was spontaneous, accidental and unintentional. I was actually waiting for the right time to discuss the issue with Seth. However – all the accumulative frustration that was building up inside of me just couldn’t take it anymore – and I just spill everything out. Celtic didn’t take it well. I know I should have done it in a more proper way.
I can’t be immune to the situation. I know I’m being selfish a little for rocking the boat but what is wrong needs to be right.
So I assume, this morning without my presence, Seth, Celtic and of course Wyatt will be strategizing on their next move. If only Jacques were here :( Nonetheless, if they want to be upset or angry with me – I respect their emotions. I just voice out my concerns – for this team’s sake because if we continue to have team members that doesn’t see eye to eye – there is no point. And I think as managers they should be readily to accept positive praises and critics as well. If they are kecil hati about it – there is certainly nothing much I can do. Maybe I’m the villain, maybe I’m the problem.

F1 Fever: It’s going to be an open race. The first 2 rounds are too early to tell. King Alonso has won and now he has the pressure to defend. The Prancing Horse especially Michael needs a win before he retires (i think) and The Finn desperately needs a win and overcome all the mechanical failures that is giving him a bit of a problem. Of course, fans should not underestimate the other tier of drivers as well – Button, Webber, Montoya, Massa and Fisichella. But one thing is for sure – a new era is here for the sport – the dominance, the strength and the quicksilver of Renault.

It Resumes

A plate of Char Kuey Teow used to cost me RM3.50. However, after the price increase of crude oil, this unscrupulous tauke charges me RM4.00 for the exact same plate – apparently the extra RM0.50 doesn’t mean that I get a bigger portion or an extra shrimp. And later throughout this week – my lunch meal expenses has incurred a few extra dollars. The rakyat is always the victim of the government’s doings. The latter has been advising us to cut down on our daily expenses and spend our money wisely but what about those hard-core poor?! Those who live in squatter areas? Those whose wages is below RM1,000? How are they supposed to trim down further their already extremely tight budget? No need to eat? Well, I’m waiting to see what sort of measures that the PM has promised to lighten the rakyat’s burden. I feel that one important action that the government must take is to ensure that businesses should not hike up their prices unreasonably. It does not justify when a RM0.30 extra sees consumers forking up to RM1.00.

This week has been awful. Things have gone from bad to worst. Celtic has personally chosen & picked a new recruit (its one of Celtic’s kinfolk - more like nepotism to me) – Wyatt’s the name :( I don’t feel the sense of ownership of my work anymore. Any information and communication is just between Seth & Celtic. They don’t disclose them to me, as though I’m invisible. How am I going to be a supporting cast when I'm not aware of the updates? Self-help books have mention to always look for a solution not at the problem but it takes two (in this case 3) to tango. There is no point if I’m striving hard to be a team member when one of them is unwilling to accept the fact that I am around. Tommy already warns me that this will happen. There is no room for me. It's only the both of them. Juan, Tommy and myself have been pretty depressed this week – all of us have issues and we need divine intervention now!

I had lunch yesterday with The Circle. There was so much of catching up to do :) We reminiscence back on our college days, how much we have changed, how fake we become when we are at work, how we hate our current jobs, the people and juicy gossips. I missed the old times. I don’t feel like going back to work tomorrow but then again…I need to learn on how to deal with such people and cope with such a situation. That way, I can improve right? (yeah right!)

The Sixth

The hunt on last Saturday went well. I think I made a good impression of myself and currently I’m on the nice Gentleman’s waiting list. I hope that he will call me in a few weeks time. If he doesn’t, I will :) I’m a bit desperate – believing that this will open a few doors for me. I got to start executing my Plan B.
My Plan A was a flop – thanks to Celtic – driving me berserk very day. Am I that threatening? I’m just a harmless creature – I’m not an anak emas to anyone (Boss & Co. hates me drop dead. its written all over their faces) and I’m not that good in what I’m doing. I’m just a Regular Jane, an average person. Nothing special or exception about me. The word that is going around lately is that Celtic is hiring someone new on board. Fine, whatever. But what is upsetting is that Seth is not doing anything – as though nothing has happen. Seth knows what it feels like when Boss & Co. was playing nasty and now Seth remains mum; protecting the prodigy. What about the leadership, team spirit, fair play, individual growth and all those bullshits that was propagated earlier?! I believe in those visions. Office politics here really keeps me entertains. I have learned a few tricks and have very good role models to look up to as well. We are like a ship that is far away from its harbor, no compass – all we do is sailing aimlessly with no destination in mind but with many storms, sea monsters and a few pirates. How’s that?

The first of the 2 farewell parties was held on Monday night at the FLAME. Nice place – a very mature crowd, very different from the teenage & yuppie pack that we usually mingled with. Within the 2 hours span – I had a few rounds of beers; celebrate Trix’s birthday, light conversations and I went home early. At the end of this month, it will be the final farewell party for Kakak.

The price of petrol went up by RM0.30 :( The cost of living has just gone up a notch.

England beat Uruguay 2-1. I believe that the Three Lions will roar even louder in June.

The Commonwealth Games and the F1 race are just around the corner, so March is definitely a panas month.