kekasih awal dan akhir

MIKA – Life In Cartoon Motion.
I really have no idea where to categorize this genre of music (it certainly weren’t mainstream) but it sure is lively, bubbly and just feels good :) I have never heard of this dude before or where he comes from (it was recommended by Baby Sis)…but his songs are really lollipop-cious.

Red Box and StarBucks – hanging out with Haakon, Fredrik, Esther and YiFan. We swapped stories and I finally found out why Jacques left. Always pick the right friends. Fredrik is coping well in the absence of Haakon and myself. Fredrik was the one with connections, knowledge, experience, wisdom, guidance; always made things possible for me. Esther is the one that is bubbled with warmth, generosity, zeal, inspiration, humor and ah, what a character! And I secretly want to emulate Esther’s strong leadership and working personality. Being a leader, you don’t have to shout or being unprofessional to get things done. The afternoon was just filled with good, long and deep conversations.

Now, the days have been hot and the heat is choking.
My house is an oven.My skin is suffocating.
My body is aching.
And I am so tired.

macam inilah - macam itulah

UNITY CONCERT – Skipping Differences For One And All
No Violence. No Drugs. No Alcohol. No Racism.

I feel so out of place…the crowd comprises of high school & college kids with their hands held high, heads pounding and they were outright generous with their cheers.
It was not one of those big-glamorous-‘in’ thing kind of concert; it was a casual concert…but most importantly it provides a platform for the local acts to showcase their talents. Of course some of them were copycats of Linkin Park, Peter Pan and Pussycat Dolls…but there are some with genuine talent. I really enjoyed some of the songs that they churned out. Original and edgy. The performances were great though; even though I have never heard of them before. There’s something very seductive about live performances.
We must support and nurture these homegrown indie talents. Majority of the recording companies in this country are not willing to take the risk to sign them up because they are not ‘mainstream’ enough. The local industry preferred the ‘used-and-tested’ formula. Piracy is also another problem. Some people may say it’s not a big deal, everyone does it (sells it & buys it) and for some, this is the closest they will get to the real thing. Others may say, why spend so much money on the real thing? I was one of them :) Hey, pirated CDs were affordable and were within my pocket allowance range when I was young. As now I’m earning a living, I’ll buy the originals. By buying and carrying these fakes, one is contributing to and endorsing criminal activities. You are not generating income for these bands but to the copycats. Support the originals, understand the artist’s history and get an appreciation of the craftsmanship and dedication at the highest level.
The music blasted on – Rockers & Hip-Hoppers Unite!

I was also struck with the disgraceful realization that I’ve forgotten how to flirt. How to pick up. How to get men to pay for my drinks…ok, I don’t get men to pay for my drinks because I always have the perception that it does not signify my independence. Eye contact with strangers? Fleeting looks from across the rooms, frivolous conversations, a bit of cleavage, body language, signals…Shit, how does it all go again?? I’d be so bad at it. Definitely not like riding a bike. Anyway. It was a great night. It was a breath of fresh air to feel young and irresponsible again. It was exactly what I needed right now :)

No Telegram Stripper

Aah, the last few days have been stunning.
Bright blue skies and glowing sunshine.
The rain has gone away :)

England produced the same old crap again – dull, boring and uninspiring – in their 0-1 loss to France in an international friendly at the Stade De France in Paris. And. I’m not happy about that. You know, I love watching sports but never been good at any of it. I love the team spirit. It’s good to cheer when someone does something great. It’s good to say encouraging things when someone misses the ball. If you knock someone over, athletes stop and apologize. No one teases. No one shows off. No one acts like a jerk. You see players struggle or triumph, persist or give up, fill with excitement or frustration, joy or anger. You see what their strengths and weaknesses are. What they like and don’t like. Most importantly, everyone is having fun. Glory to themselves, their fans, their coach, their country.

MJ Café & Restaurant, Jaya 33 – dinner with Thor, Lucius, Stella, Miss Foong, May Leng and Celtic. It was so good seeing the old gang again. Eating the most delicious lamb chop ever. Meaty, tender, so creamy…everyone’s dinner tasted great, the service was good… most importantly, the atmosphere was quiet, sophisticated, classy and relaxing – it was perfect.

I am a 100% Germini. Good and bad :)

Kate Winslet: What If

Callum,

Here I stand alone
With this weight upon my heart
And it will not go away
In my head I keep on looking back
Right back to the start

Wondering what it was that made you change
Well I tried
But I had to draw the line
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind
What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time

But I guess we'll never know
Many roads to take
Some to joy
Some to heart-ache
Anyone can lose their way
And if I said that we could turn it back
Right back to the start

Would you take the chance and make the change
Do you think how it would have been sometimes
Do you pray that I'd never left your side
What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time

But I guess we'll never know
If only we could turn the hands of time
If I could take you back, would you still be mine
'Cos I tried
But I had to draw the line
And still this question keep on spinning in my mind

What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
What if I had never walked away
'Cos I still love you more than I can say
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know
We'll never know

silver hair

Manchester United beat Liverpool 3-0.
I don’t get it. There is enough quality and depth in this potent squad to challenge on all four fronts > Premiership, FA Cup, League Cup and Champions League. It’s frustrating to see such developments in Anfield. I think the only thing standing in the way is the issue of Rafa Benitez’s rotational policy. I cannot understand why Rafa uses this policy, week in and week out. His explanation is that he is resting his players, he needed fresh running legs…come on; these are highly paid players who are young and fit, so where is the logic in having them warming up the bench. Play your best team in every match and only make changes when you have to. That’s the only way to win games. You know, if it weren’t for the rotational policy, Liverpool would not have dropped so many points.

Tonight, mom makes us The Period Soup (‘Pak Chang’) – it’s supposed to be very nutritious and beneficial to the women’s body. For years we tried to make the experience less painful. We’d dilute it with hot water. Or sip it very slowly with a straw. Or hold our breaths and see who could skull it the fastest. Or drink it too hot so we’d scald our taste buds. But now that we’re older… we just drink it silently and quickly. Like the good daughters we are :)

My life’s as a blank canvas

"Life is a combination of magic and pasta" – Fellini

This week I have been bombarded by so many people:

Salah Siapa – Riza called me up urgently; informing me that Chevron has decided to penalize us for late delivery to one of their stations in peninsular Malaysia, on last year November 2007. I got panicked because the delivery orders at that time were under my charge. I may not remember 100% of my work, but I can remember 80% of it. And I certainly have no recollection of the Valve Display order. I may be blur, but it’s impossible that I overlooked things. I did a thorough check and thank GOD, it was not my fault. Chevron didn’t cc the email to Riza or Fredrik and the best part is that they email their orders to me via a wrong email address. So I didn’t get the Purchase Order. So whose fault is it? So clever, who teach them! Want to penalize; also double-check who is at fault first. Don’t point your fingers blindly! I am even more upset when Fredrik push away all the responsibilities of churning the Chevron NRP Monthly Reports to Riza. Riza was hospitalized, thus I did the handover of my duties to Fredrik at that time. When Riza came back to work, Fredrik did not bother to teach Riza, instead told Riza to read the step-by-step instructions which I have written. If any problem or questions arises, can refer to me. What kind of manager is that?! That complicated report should not be executed at Riza’s level. It involves a lot of details and should be prepared at the executive or managerial level. Pity Riza who doesn’t know the head-and-tail of the exercise.

Janjiku – Had a nice conversation with Shariman; asking me if there is any job available at my new workplace. He is truly a lovely guy who helps me out a lot on warehousing management matters. He’s extremely playful and loves to clown around :) It’s sad that the head supervisor Zul have left, the new Warehouse Manager has been picking on the crews…they've suddenly realized that they can't survive without me. Ha. Nah…I’m not really that good :)

Kenangan Terindah – Advising & consoling Troy on siblings’ problems…our dearest & nearest can be so hurtful occasionally.

Selamanya – Was invited to attend Jack’s open house next week Saturday. Also found out that M is 5 months pregnant :)

Sebutir Pasir – Email from Mei Yin; Jacques will be resigning end of this month. Woah, what happened?!

Sahabat – Recalled the conversation that I had with Tommy last week. I didn’t regret that I didn’t join Atticus. I feel very guilty instead because Atticus was lobbying very hard for me. No doubt, by re-joining the English, I will be learning a new set of skills, a good brand name if I ever leave the company (working with Malaysia’s number 1 retailer)…unlike now…work is good but working in a china-man company have many downs than ups. They deduct your salary when you come in late for work by the minute and their benefits sucks! With the English, MNC companies provide the best in everything for their staffs and if you pass their exam, you will get a promotion (like Nikolai who was promoted to Grade 4 recently) – their system is fair and square, plus transparent. No biases. And I also received a called from the English this week; asking me to join their Grocery Team. This is their 4th invitation. After this, there will be no more invitation because I have such a bad record :)

I don’t regret coming here. I don’t regret joining Haakon…it was an enriching experience one way or the other. On the other hand…I feel like I haven’t yet been able to fully spread my wings and SOAR over the world like I was supposed to. And something in me is burning and bursting to break out. But I don’t know what it is or when. Ah, it sounds ridiculous isn’t it?
So when is it ever going to be just right, just enough?
When is this going to fit the bill?
What on earth do you want?

Bought a new handbag: silver, big, bling-bling; and it was very pricey.

I’m now looking forward to the endless hours of reading :)

Mr. Had A Beer Before The Class

March’s Golden Boy: Harry Wales
From royal zero into secret hero
– for his courageous 10-week tour of duty in Helmand province, in southern Afghanistan.
Some media, critics, royal watchers said that the whole exercise was superficial, PR overkill, merely a stunt…but it cannot be denied that it was a brilliant re-branding strategy and PR make-over for the third in line to the throne by Clarence House and the British Military. The royal family was for once not only decorative, but useful – the best publicity for years. It’s terrific for Harry’s playboy & rebellious reputation, for the royal family and the army.
Isn’t this second lieutenant in the Blues & Royals Regiment of the Household Cavalry dashing? :)

**McLaren’s Lewis Hamilton avoided the mayhem around him to open the Formula One season with a resounding pole-to-flag victory in a crash-strewn Australian Grand Prix. Neither Ferrari reaches the chequred flag and Fernando Alonso was fourth on his return to the Renault team.

pocket panache

Michael Jackson: Man In The Mirror

I'm Gonna Make A Change
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good, Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My Favorite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other
On The Wind Ya' Know
Cause They Got Nowhere To Go
That's Why I Want You To Know

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself
And Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na, Na Nah)

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize That There Are Some With No Home
Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me, Pretending That They're Not Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred
Somebody's Broken Heart And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of The Wind
Ya' See Cause They Got No PlaceTo Be
That's Why I'm Starting With Me
(Starting With Me!)

I'm Gonna Make A Change
It's Gonna Feel Real Good! Come On! (Change . . .)
Just Lift Yourself
You Know You've Got To Stop It
Yourself! (Yeah! - Make That Change!)
I've Got To Make That Change
Today! Hoo! (Man In The Mirror)
You Got To, You Got To Not Let Yourself . . .Brother . . .

Hoo! (Yeah! - Make That Change!)
You Know - I've Got To Get That Man, That Man . . .(Man In The Mirror)
You've Got To, You've Got To Move! Come On! Come On! You Got To . . .Stand Up! Stand Up! Stand Up! (Yeah - Make That Change) Stand Up And Lift Yourself
Now! (Man In The Mirror) Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Aaow! (Yeah - Make That Change) Gonna Make That Change . . .Come On! (Man In The Mirror) You Know It!
You Know It! You Know It! You Know . . .(Change . . .)
Make That Change.

Happy St. Patrick's Day :)

Mr. Too Much After Shave

MATTA Fair is on!
Places that I would like to visit someday:
(1) Italy
(2) Greece
(3) South Africa
(4) Brazil
(5) Canada
(6) New York
(7) Japan
But for now…as I’m broke…I will stay at home :)

Tommy called – did some catch-up :) I’m glad that Tommy called and we talked.
Sometimes, when I run through friends contact numbers on my handphone, there’s no one I can actually call to talk to. It’s horribly depressing. Why is that?
Maybe I just want to keep things to myself instead of sharing it with someone.
Maybe I don't have the courage to share...yet.

I cut my hair - feel so much lighter; and unburdened :)
Perhaps cutting my hair is symbolic of the excess baggage I carried.
What happened to me?
Maybe I over-think too much and unnecessarily at times, no; all the times.

Terminal 5 (Pub & Grille) – Celtic, May Leng & I have found a nice place to have lunch the other day. I love the quietness, the cowboy-wooden interior theme and the varieties. There isn’t much eatery places in our office area. So our choices are very limited. Everyday is mamak food; so boring. This new-found place offers good Chinese and Western dishes. Also, it’s a nice place to hang out after work. Plus, they have a pool table :)

teratai layu di tasik madu

It is understandable if the Barisan Nasional fails to recapture Kelantan.
But it is totally unacceptable that the ruling coalition can actually lost Kedah, Penang, Perak & Selangor – 4 booming, industrialized and economy-generating states.
These were stunning results that no one, not even the Opposition; had expected or imagined.
This election also saw the fall of some of the biggest personalities on the Malaysian political landscape: MIC President Datuk Seri Samy Vellu, Tan Sri Dr Koh Tsu Koon (GERAKAN lost its crown jewel, the state that it had rule for 39 years), Datuk M. Kayveas, Datin Paduka Chew Mei Fun and Datuk Seri Sharizat Jalil.
A political tsunami with few survivors :)

Now I am disgusted when I read in the papers that there are certain quarters in UMNO; is putting the blame that the swing of votes come from the non-bumiputra communities. Hello, don’t be so ignorant. Use some common sense. The non-bumiputra only consists of 30% of the population. Even if it holds 40%, the communities still doesn’t have that much voting power. Please acknowledge that your own Kaum Melayu is also against your party. Your own people are going against you. They too voted for the Opposition. They snubbed UMNO at the ballot. Simply put, a large number of Malay voters who favored UMNO and its alliances decided otherwise this time around and instead voted for the Opposition. Meaning that the problem is in UMNO.
Ask your own people why did they do so? Do they not care about the Malay rights and privileges which UMNO fought for? Or have they become smarter over the unequal distribution of wealth & privileges within the party.

So what went wrong?

It is apparent that the BN leaders have misread the mood of the people.
After ruling for half a century, it believed in its invincibility and refused to acknowledge that the rakyat were angry with some of its policies, decisions and actions such as wielding of the Keris and comments uttered during the UMNO general assembly & in Parliament. Pure arrogance. They thought that the street demonstrations in Kuala Lumpur were nothing more than the occasional show of defiance and dissatisfaction over simple bread-and-butter issues. Come on, the rakyat are more intelligent and educated than they were 50 years ago. They are braver to come out & demonstrate, to show that they were really angry and want their grouses to be quickly attended to. Instead, the BN belittled the demonstrations as something initiated by the Opposition. This annoyed the rakyat and when BN leaders said demonstrations are not part of our culture, someone wrote to remind them that “UMNO was born out of demonstrations against the Malayan Union” :)

Rakyat is upset, angry, frustrated… rise in consumer items leads to rising cost of living. We are living in a very rich country. All of our exports are A-grade quality yet somehow we don’t get to enjoy them and have to pay for assessments & tolls. I don’t know how true it is – but someone did mention that the money that this country earned through oil exporting can actually exempt the rakyat from paying tolls and taxes. That shows how truly rich Malaysia is. Where is all the money gone to?!
Irritation with the government’s inability to deal with the increase in crime rate.
Non-Bumis annoyed with the government on their refusal to acknowledge the on-going Islamisation and its insistence to continue with the NEP.
Disappointed with the government on its refusal to deal with complaints of neglecting the minority races.
Mad with the government at the level of corruption and the seeming unwillingness of them to root out the problem but were instead seen as condoning some of the abuses that were becoming widespread.
The HINDRAF issue - the fall of the Indian Chief indicates an unprecedented wave of anger, opening up a new era in politics for the Indian community.

So Pak Lah & Co, it’s time for reflection and re-assessment.
Find out how and why your team squander after winning such a massive mandate in 2004.
And good luck :)

apa sebenarnya

Two forces rule the universe: Light and Gravity - Simone Weil.

Ingredients for an extremely attractive man that will rule my heart:
Gravitas and a Lightness of being :)

di depan mata

12th General Elections - 10.92 million registered voters.

Malaysians voted!
The votes are in and counted.
Malaysians have decided! Indeed…time for change.

Results:
(1) Barisan Nasional FAILS to win two-thirds of parliamentary seats.
(2) Barisan LOSES Kedah, Penang, Perak and Selangor.
(3) PAS STRENGTHENS grip on Kelantan.
(4) DAP-PKR-PAS sweeps 35 state seats, two short of two-thirds majority.
(5) Datuk Seri S. Samy Vellu (Sungai Siput) lost to Dr. D. Michael Jeyakumar.
(6) Highest profile casualty: Women, Family & Community Development Minister Datuk Seri Shahrizat Jalil who lost her Lembah Pantai seat to newcomer Nurul Izzah Anwar (daughter of Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim).

mengerti

It was Seth’s birthday…and…Celtic & I have chosen a nice present and have it delivered to Seth in Mutiara. Seth was shocked, surprised and proud. Most importantly, Seth gets to show-off the present to the fellow Englishman & Englishwomen over there :)
How many bosses will actually receive a birthday present from its ex-staffs? Not in today’s time where graduates/employees job-hop so frequently. Even recruitment agencies have acknowledge that job loyalty is so rare…people at least change their job, 3 – 5 times a year.
No doubt, the 4 of us went through tough and trying times back in M13, but it’s a fact that cannot be denied…that Seth is my ex-boss, Celtic is my second ex-boss cum current boss and Wyatt is my ex-colleague. I was the odd-one out and the minority :)

And now the NIGHTMARE is happening all over again…with Celtic.
I really hate Celtic’s bad habits…whatever information, Celtic refuse to disclose.
And when something happens, then Celtic will screw me up for not knowing anything. Every time, I have to dig out for the information. Already I have so many things to do, and yet have to spend time digging around the bushes.
Does Celtic understand what is communication and coordination? If there is no proper communication or information being flow down the chain, how are things is going to take off? When a work is being delegated, you also must explain what must be done right?
I think Celtic is just being selfish, refusing to share, still have the afraid-feeling that I will be better.
Plus, Celtic is such a show-off, always loves to take the credit even though it was mine.
And last night, it was my turn to have a hit on Celtic when Celtic screwed up the whole barcode listing and I have to clean up the mess till late night :( This is going to be another long battle for survival.
I must be aggressive! This is only a pit-stop.

Malaysians VOTE today.
Good luck Malaysia!

kau, ilhamku

Miss Klein came back from Sheffield :)
Torres, Ping, Celtic, Trix, Wyatt, Miss Klein and myself had a get-together session.
Dinner at Uncle Lim’s and then 'yum cha' at Coffee Bean till late.
So many stories, affairs, laughter and jokes were shared.
Everyone was completely jittery with happiness and excitement & I was prancing around the place with a huge smile on my face :)
Good night out.

Ms. Elephant Feet

CJ7 – caught the movie with my Pa and Baby Sis.
A sci-fi comedy about a poor laborer father and his young son. The father tries his best to provide for his son, but the boy goes to school in shabby clothes and is picked on by the other kids as well as the discipline teacher. When a fascinating and strange new “pet” enter their lives, the son sees it as a chance to overcome his poor background and impress his fellow students for the first time in his life. The “alien pet”; however, is not what it seems and has other ideas which bring comedic chaos.
No doubt, Stephen Chow was very much inspired by Steven Spielberg’s 'E.T'…but CJ7 is no E.T. His sense and brand of humor has evolved with time…more subtle, touching more on the emotions. I am so used to his 'moh lei tau' brand of humor and CJ7 is just plain dry. It is no longer witty and sarcastic. Throughout the whole movie, I didn’t laugh much; instead I shed a tear or two. It was touching; watching the intimate father-son relationship. It just that when you watch a Stephen Chow’s movie, you have the perception and expectation that you will be laughing your head off and are entertained.
The core moral value of this movie: don’t ever be poor :) Yes, we are living in a very damn materialistic world. Sure, call me money-face...but at least I admit it :)

Celtic was bullied.
We are in the same boat now.
It’ll be okay. Fingers crossed.

I am now motivated to get more sleep :)