Sunday, September 21, 2008

unforgettable - that's who you are

Dear Diary,

This week has been hell-lish!
Sales have dropped dramatically this month.
Entry Margin & Gross Margin was at a reduced percentage rate compare to last year.
Profitability is at a negative.
Outstanding Promotion Fees (i can’t cough out another RM100k, even if I ‘stand’ in Bangsar for a month, I am still unable to pump in that amount of money).
High stock level until it reaches a point where the RY reject supplier stock upon delivery. Thank GOD, the suppliers didn’t chase me with their ‘parang’.
Never-ending deadlines. I have to learn the art of prioritizing. I have a feeling that I am in danger of turning into a workaholic. Maybe I’m one already.

This French life is crazy. And Iron Butterfly has set a deadline for me – I have to complete everything by the end of November. And I have to deliver the figures and perform in the next 100 days…or not…I am very sure that my appraisal will be screwed! I’m beginning to realise that some ends are out of my grasp and it’d do no good to wish, hope or dream because it’ll never come to be and it will be consequentially depressing. I may not get the confirmation. I think, in some ways…and probably more true than I’d care to admit, is that I’m bloody scared of what may or may not happen. Look, I’m going to give my best. If I can perform, I stay…if I can’t…I shall start looking…maybe I’m not suitable for this…maybe Iron Butterfly have really psycho, brainwash me and put a dent on my self-confidence.

Looking at all of it right now, it makes me feel like I want to take my bags, pack them with all of my belongings and disappear into the unknown.

I've have thanked GOD quite publicly here before, but today I want to say thank you again and dedicate this entire post to Him. For the opportunities, for the twists and turns in my life, for giving me these skills, for the friends who've helped me to get to where I am today, for the future (bright, I hope), for what's possible, for the dreams I'm allowed to realized, I thank You. And yes, sometimes the trivial problems of our everyday life hinder us from seeing the bigger problems of the world. I will be humble. I will respect and treat my families & friends well. And I will keep my feet firmly on the ground as my hands reach for the stars.

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