It’s not glamorous, but its life

sometimes the world looks completely different upside down

A long and painful week it was. I'm also feeling extremly exhausted. It's just that this week sucked big time. It's also one of those phase where it's been made clear to me that I'm not meant for this job. At all! At all! At all! I have never felt more useless or belittled. I'm bad with calculating risks and sticking to plans as well. I wish life was better (but it's not) and nothing is ever fair.

Work Tales:
Busy with THO and finally THO had it's soft opening yesterday morning.
Now will be busy again with Bangsar South...assortment review & implantation all over again! I want to puke already.
Sumen is away for holidays so I have to hold the forte alone. That means I have to do 2 person's job. I don't know whether I should have a heart attack first or start laughing like a psycho-maniac with crazed protruding eyes.
And then, more reports that needs to be generated for Iron Butterfly. Will be having a review with her on next week Tuesday.
Plus, the coming month's promotion plans. I have no idea at the moment on what product, range or theme to slot in. I can't even think. I'm just blank. I need to be inspired :)

the capital city can be a frighteningly competitive place

winners are simply willing to do what losers won't
giving up doesn't mean you are weak. sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go

from the inside...out

this is how i feel today

Bumps, Mums & Muffins

i think what messes me up most of the time is that i have these perfect pictures of how things are supposed to be

i'm semi-sweet & nuts

Selamat Hari Raya :)

Family Affair - my uncle & aunt threw a farewell dinner for my young cousin last night who will be leaving for London next week to pursue her law studies. It was also another significant opportunity for the Tang family to gather around the big table and to do some good catching-up. Big family bash with lots of good food :) Hanging out as a family and doing something a little special :)

Monday - no need to go to work :) Wee! I'm happy. Really, seriously happy :)
Oh, I need to go shopping soon. I'll have to look for something new to wear.

in life...you love, let go and move on.
or in most cases...love, try to let go and pretend to move on. deal with it as it comes.
forget what you feel, and remember what you deserve.

rule the court

Raya is tomorrow :) Yay! Really looking forward to the long weekend.

Work Tales - This week was another busy week for me. After wrapping up the Subang revamping project, it was off to THO. Visited the site, co-ordinating with the Suppliers, the COP team, the Store people, assortment review, implantation, inter-store transfer, got into a very heated argument with Iron Butterfly etc. I agree to disagree and I disagree to agree with Iron Butterfly. As with any new projects, I have learnt to trust my instincts, rely on datas generated and always plan, plan, plan to keep the business running financially and, in turn; to enable it to grow. However, Iron Butterfly have also been drilling me that I should be more open to new ideas and partnerships as not everything will always pan out as you may have imagined. Iron Butterfly have never ever stands on my side, have never been supportive or understanding, appreciative or acknowledging of my being. It is always the Top 6. I am an abandon child :) I'm not craving for attention, compliments or praises. Criticize with justification, with facts & figures, not for the sake of criticizing. I guess all bosses are like that. When the things are so perfect, they will still find something negative to comment about.

Sigh; at times it's so difficult trying to make wise decisions without having ample time to think things through. I wouldn't say I have blundered everything; but most of the time I find ways of improving my decisions only after they've been made :) *Argh* Of course, I try my best to consult my family, my seniors, industry veterans before doing anything drastic; but the truth is...nobody have the time to permanently be focused on my worries & problems. Armed with every valuable 2 cent's worth I gather; I have to make the final choice; and damn it isn't easy when I'm juggling with so many responsibilities. I just go with faiths and facts. I'm a hard worker, not so much an opportunist. Well, it's nice to know that I still have the energy to do these crazy tasks when it is required.

Then The French also organized the Majlis Berbuka Puasa - a gathering for the head office people. The food was delicious; I basically stood around with my fellow comrades, gossiping and giggling :) Then there was the bbq dinner at Iron Butterfly's house. Followed by a lunch date with Trix and Damien at Sakae Sushi. It was a foodie week as well :)

So, overall; I'm pretty tired and sleepy. Looking back - the last few months have been a very very difficult time for me - both professionally and personally. And, that sort of things affects me in many ways. Including not knowing how to have fun in different aspects of my life. So, I will use this long holiday wisely. I have realized that my situation is not a 'crossroad of life' scenario.

GaGa is sick :( Clutch problem.
Papa is also unwell. Baby Sis is also physically not fit. Mum is also very tired.
Heal the family GOD!

little miss sunshine

i know that i'm in a 'good place' right now :)
i guess i'm learning, little by little; that we decide what our lives are going to be. things happen to us, but it is our reactions that matter

And I was going through my tom-boy phase

I am thinking about >> Creating. Writting. Blogging. My Life Plans. Marriage. Motherhood. Children. My Family. Infertility. Cancer. Single Income. The Future. Love. Hopes. My Faith. Sensitivity. Sadness. Loss. Emptiness. Depression. My Community. The People Of My Life. Of Life. Of Death.
It's funny how age and time has the ability to project you with the above issues of the past and the future.
I feel I've come full circle :) I'm happy to re-visit the things of my childhood. And I'm not embarassed about the phases in my life at all. I actually think that it's quite charming, in an enriching kind of way. It's made me who I am. And I'm completely cool with it.

"Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time...it tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other" - Leo F. Buscaglia.

"Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean" - David Searls.

It's been a very long week. Did a lot of work-related stuff. But other than that, I just love being able to work alongside with some really wonderful people. There's something to be said when your place of work can nourish and encourage you in more ways than one.

chasing the sun

My School Break = RM43k

Go Outdoors = RM95k
I admit that they are not great numbers (even Iron Butterfly dismisses them)...but at the very least (to me); both of these Press Ad Campaign of mine manages to generate an additional sales income of RM138k for the stores & for myself. This fasting month have been a very difficult period for all of us. No Sales!! The Muslims community is fasting during this holy month, thus they don't play any sports and limit their outdoor activities during this period of time & mothers around the country are not letting their young broods out from their house due to H1N1 infections :(

I know that LIFE is a JOURNEY. There are UPS and there are DOWNS. As much as I don't quite look forward to the challenging DOWN moments, the reality is; it's part and parcel of our life. And I'm constantly being reminded again and again that what's more important is 'HOW WE RESPOND TO IT' when we go through those tough moments in our life.

These are the moments when I really felt incapable. Helpless. Discouraged. I want to win the sales battle badly but I know that I can't because even though the internal circumstances have been very supportive but it is the external circumstances (which I have no control of) that proves otherwise. I'm too responsible & overly committed I tell you. So yeah, I'm in a constant state of exhaustion lately.

I prayed and I asked for strength & wisdom. Nothing more. I'm very very thankful of GOD's rich blessings upon me. I just feel very guilty at times that my attitude, behavior and thinking do not truly reflect the pure Christian's teachings. I'm a sleeping church member, an in-active church-goer but I know that GOD is with me and loves me. There's always hope at the end of all the struggles. Just like how there'll be clear skies after the rain. And you know what, that was what kept me going, knowing that my struggles won't last forever (though it might feel like forever at that time). It's like a circle. After passing 1 test, I began to think that I can handle another bigger test.

I'm learning. Learning to go through the downs in my life with the right responce and the right attitude & treasure every single thing that happens in my life. Both the ups and downs :)

"we're still going stronger than ever"

Troy was in town over the weekend :) As usual, we makan-makan...we had our big breakfast in Paddington House Of Pancakes and then a small lunch at IKEA...chatting about clothes, siblings, work and life :)

I met Troy in 2003 when we were studying in Murdoch University; South Street Campus. We came back to KL in 2005, Troy then moved back to Setiawan to take care of the family shipping business...it's really amazing how we can sustain our friendship all these years with a distance gap between us. We sent each other text messages, letters, emails, phone calls and occasionally (if the time permits) Troy will drop by.
Our personalities were too different to begin with. Troy stays indoors. I stay curious about what the outside world has to offer. Troy prefers staying within the comfort zone. I am constantly thinking up of new adventures and ideas on what to do next. Ultimately, we are two very different people, with drastically different lifestyles, different ideals, different philosophies and different aims in life. But what makes us click? We don't have a clue :) But I guess we share the same values & feelings towards things like family, friends, health, work, money, stress, holidays, how we spend our time and future plans.
We had our moments of happyness :)

And as for romance - surprisingly it's not my parents that are bugging me with this issue but my dear concern colleagues at work. I guess I'm just not the type of person who is suitable to be in a relationship with anyone at this point of time. There are still so many things that I want to do, so many goals I want to acheive, so many places I want to travel to before I settle down. Maintaining a relationship wouldn't be at the top of my list, and it's very unfair to ask anyone to put up with that. Perhaps when I've done all that I wanna do, without restrictions, only then will I re-examine my priorities. Herein also lies the problem. At 27 years of age, not only is marriage is the last thing on my mind, I'm not even actively out there looking for a partner :)