how do you do blue?

Work Tales – rupa-rupanya, the cerita is like this…today at 5.30pm sharp – The General have make an announcement regarding the Division re-structuring. Barry…well, sort of like a demotion to me, have been moved to the Processes & Small Stores Portfolio. Well, at least...Barry don't have to worry anymore about Sales, Margin & Buying Income. Marcus took over Barry’s Textile Portfolio. I will be park under Ursula's administration. While, the biggest winner among all is actually Leonardo…Leonardo gets to keep Alice & Pietro while gaining Celtic and Madeleine’s portfolio. Leonardo has got the biggest pie in the form of Celtic’s department and 2 good horses in the form of Celtic and Madeleine. This is because The General wants to even out the level of the playing field. Each SCM will have an equal contribution. Leonardo will no longer be sinking further anymore, the stores will be able to see Leonardo's performance as all this while, Leonardo's department is a bit tenggelam. And I was right…Baldwin will take over Madam Yap’s portfolio who will be retiring in November. Finally, I am very sure that Leonardo is very happy right now that I am gotten rid off.

I am going to the Dark Side :)

The Buah

Liverpool 1 – 0 Aston Villa :) Good job Daniel Sturridge. Twice in a row now.

#HouseLab

GOD is at work. Thank You GOD, Praise To The Lord, Bless You GOD.

The other day, I had a flat tyre at the Sri Muda morning market. The culprit was a thumb tack. I was like – Oh No! I have a spare tyre, I have the tools…but I don’t know how to change the tyre :) It’s always looking very easy when other people are changing it but when you are actually doing it – it’s real tough. So, I went in to a book store; hoping the owner will be able to help me. Unfortunately, that uncle has yet to come in. Then, a man who was having his documents being photocopied asks me what happen. I replied and he gladly says – I help you. And here is the best part – he was having a bit of a difficulty to unlatch the spare tyre from my boot, so he took up his keys to open up the latch. The keychain that hooks all of the keys have this 5 letter word on it – JESUS. Wow…inside of me, at that moment, I feel so overwhelm, tears were flowing out internally. God sent Jesus to help me. Wow! What an expereince. The good Chinese Samaritan got everything done up, I sent my mom back home first, then I went to a tyre workshop in Glenmarie to have the hole patch up.

I am most humbled and appreciative. I was counting my blessings that the tyre didn’t punctured while I was on a highway, while I was driving on major roads, or in a shopping mall car park. Again, a humbling experience :)

Stripping, Sandcastles & Speedos

The General have yet to get back to me…but Leonardo has already gotten back to me…with some very bad & terrible news :( Actually, I should have suspected it; that something big will happen. Firstly – The General was in Leonardo’s room the other day which is next to mine. (The General is my right hand neighbor while Leonardo is my left hand neighbor). I can hear their faint conversations, some words were pretty clear…then I overheard The General telling Leonardo – Don’t get it wrong, I’m sorry. Secondly, at one time, Pietro was in The General’s room. On The General’s table was a piece of paper that contains the drawing of the department's new organization’s chart. There are 5 SCM’s in the division. All names were on it except for Leonardo. Pietro & I was already in a panicky mode. We assure ourselves that perhaps…the paper was not properly printed. A piece of it was missing. Thirdly, Marcus has been hinting Celtic several times that Marcus may no longer be Celtic’s boss. Meaning that, not only will there be a re-structuring at the Assistants level but also at the SCM level as well. The fourth occasion is when The General & Leonardo was walking pass by my room that morning – I heard The General telling Leonardo – Let’s not do anything first until the HR issues out the letter.

Then, Leonardo came into my room and broke the news to me. Leonardo will no longer be my boss. Stationery will no longer be park under Leonardo anymore. Leonardo will keep Pietro & Alice. Leonardo also mentions that some portfolios will be drop, new portfolios will be undertaken – meaning some SCM will win some and lose some. Celtic suspected that this so-called arrangement happen because Pietro and Alice have done such a lousy job in their range review project, which indirectly cause Leonardo to look bad and reflect badly on Leonardo’s leadership in guiding the team. The General have even sarcastically commented on Pietro that either Pietro is lazy, stupid or refuse to change. Actually, I may also be one of the culprit. I didn't help the team, I didn't help Leonardo. I should be partly to be blame too.

I am going to the dark side because I will be park under Queen Ursula. Among all of the SCM – the evil one is Ursula. Ursula have snatch Leonardo’s previous 2 staffs and now, I’m the third one crossing-over. Celtic said that Leonardo should fight back for the territory. Which I also agree. I admit. I didn’t do a good job. So, if I were Leonardo, I will get the Stationery Buyer to be transfer out, swapped or removed. But don’t take away the biggest department from me. Let’s see how it goes. No official announcement yet so I play dunno first. Leonardo only mentions that Stationery will not be park under Leonardo but Leonardo did not mention whether I will still be holding on to the department or not. I don’t feel young anymore. Retail work takes a lot out of me and it bangs me up pretty good over the years. Nonetheless, I have the good fortune of being able to work for many years. That is all I ever wanted at that time – to earn a good living. I have never felt pigeonholed with the work I was doing. As long as I have work, I am happy. Even so, I will still search for my perfect fit. Every delay is for a good reason. GOD, please give me the courage to ditch my comfort zone and listen to that little voice inside of me. GOD, help me to unravel the knots that keep me from living a healthy whole life, and do it now, before any more time passes :)

mad markets

The General have gotten back to Baldwin. Baldwin will remain in charge of the Furniture Portfolio and additionally, will be taking over another department as well. Baldwin did not mention to me which new department that Baldwin will be looking after…but my wild guess will be the Home Furnishing portfolio because Madam Yap is on a contractual basis as she have passed her retirement age. Baldwin is a bit upset with this new, unexpected arrangement and regretted requesting The General for a swap…believing that if Baldwin did not make such a request in the first place, this additional work load will not happen. Baldwin also finds it unfair, what’s more in our case – it was a suka-sama-suka that we want to swap units. However, The General has yet to get back to me…so my situation is still a big question mark :( Not only that, there will be changes – a re-structuring at the Assistant position level as well. Currently, the practice is that 1 buyer will have 1 assistant. Now the buyers will no longer have the assistants helping them out on a daily basis. That means, Isla and I will be parting ways soon. The current group of assistants will be further divided into subdivision; doing very specialized work. There will be a team raising POs, a team doing promotion-related works, a team doing indent-related works etc. There are pros and cons to it. Work will be more focus for sure but the assistants will not be able to learn something new and they will have a very limited opportunities to move up the value chain. It will be a very much trial-and-error basis. No dates has been confirmed on when this re-structuring will be implemented.

[i]mpact

Victoria drop da’bomb. Victoria’s last day will be somewhere in October. During the majestic French reign, many of its staffs have left. Then the Japanese took over, but I guess during that time, everyone was playing the wait-and-see-game. Now, as the dust has settled down, that everyone can see what the Japanese is finally up to…so yeah...everyone is re-planning their next move again. Thus, Stewart has also, again asked me to go back to D33. Thank You GOD, Praise To The Lord, Bless You GOD for this opportunity. Again, I love the retail business. But I think I have enough of buying. It’s time to open a new portfolio within the retail segment :)

No doubt, I think that this year I am struggling the most when it comes to my career. My confidence and my self-doubt is at the lowest point. I felt stupid at work, I feel even more ridiculous now…but I don’t want to jump from one fire to another fire. It will be a repeat of repetitive and stagnation work all over again. Let’s switch over to something that I actually enjoyed and performed well in.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything – Book Of James.

wake up or break up

Work Tales – I have hit rock bottom :( I am de-motivated, the morale is very low at the moment, I feel like a loser, I’m hopeless & useless – I have pressed the panic button, I have raised the white flag – but no aid came. Leonardo also could not be bothered. I think this is because The General wants to re-structure the SCM level – thus there are a 50 – 50 chances that Leonardo will no longer be my boss. I am just alone, all by myself, like an orphan, an unwanted child, an abandoned child. I am not making any contributions since my arrival, I delivered zero results since I arrive, things have been spiraling out of control – my time in GE13 has been a major disaster! It reminds me of SAM25. And now the worst part is that I am talking nonsense and delivering craps. Imagine that – a 31 years old person, a graduate, an Australian graduate, a former Division Manager. The frustrations with the French was that I keep working and working on things but the results were not there…here, the things I did with its outcome, it makes me feel stupid and lacking of confidence. The worst part was on last week Wednesday. Every Wednesday, all of the buyers have to present what they want to advertise in the next leaflet promotion. It was the worst day of my life. I gave stupid answers in front of The General and the 4 SCMs. Everything was rejected, everything was being questioned. Why advertise this item when on a normal daily basis it can be sold so well? Why compromise on the margin where as the sales increment is insignificant?

Duh!! This is to meet the 1200 units and RM20,000 value criteria which The General have set earlier. I understand that the Anniversary Theme means good bargains items. However on my side, I have no leftover Raya stocks to sell. Majority of my aging stocks are Christmas merchandise; which is also too early to put them out. I know that some questions that was thrown at me; I gave very stupid answers. Answers that have no logic, contradicting and outright embarassing. I was just so upset that I lashed out a little at them. I told them – “I apologized if I have failed in doing this but I am really struggling every week to do this leaflet. I find it totally pointless. I am currently doing my range review right now. I am looking at my competitors, especially the English. They hardly have any leaflet on Stationery items anymore. They only advertise A4 photocopy papers. Is there a reason behind it?” I know that I should not have said it. I probably have made The General lose its face in front of all of the SCMs and I also can feel that lately I’m being put under cold storage at the moment. Probably, all of them see me as someone who is lazy, no initiative and making up pathetic excuses. Gosh, the days are getting more frustrating and hard to endure in the office :(

GOD – where are you?

Now – is the time to figure out what kind of work that I want to do and I love to do. What I am good at? What makes me feel alive? What do I dream about? I already have the answers to that. I read an article somewhere…it takes about 10 years after graduating to find the right job fit and anyone who finds it earlier than that is just plain lucky. So, in other words, meaning – I only have another 2 more years to do that. Because there will comes a time when finances and schedules will make this a little bit trickier. So, whatever I want to do…I have to try it now, apply for it now, get it going now and do it now. I regret a little that upon graduating in 2005, thereafter; I didn’t do much. I mean, my life at that time was just about learning and growing within my work area – I did not take a step outside from it. I didn’t go back to school (even though it was part of my plan to do a graduate diploma & later on an MBA), work for almost nothing, live & work in another country (i’m too old already to apply for a holiday working visa now), volunteer long hours for something that moves me or switch directions completely. I didn’t use the past 8 years of my life to try new things, take classes, start over :(

I have to be patient, don’t too rush into things and be prayerful. Well, at least, I should be grateful that I know what I want to do now and I have been praying specifically for it. The article also goes on to say that when you start to hit 28 or 30, everything starts to divide, and you can see very clearly two kinds of people: on one side, people who have used their 20s to learn and grow, to find GOD and themselves and their deep dreams, people who know what works and what doesn’t, who have pushed through to become real live adults. And then there’s the other kind, who are hanging onto college, or high school even, with all their might. They’ve stayed in jobs that they hated, because they’re too scared to get another one. They’ve stayed with men or women who are good but not great, because they don’t want to be lonely. They mean to find a church, they mean to develop honest, intimate friendships, they mean to stop drinking like life is one big frat party. But they don’t do those things, so they live in kind of an extended adolescence, no closer to adulthood than they were when they graduated from college.

The article ends with a very strong closing. A reminder to me actually - don’t be like that. Don’t get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. Walk away, try something new. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself at happy hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either. Stop every once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with your journal. Ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? What have I learned about GOD this year? What parts of my childhood faith am I leaving behind, and what parts am I choosing to keep with me for this leg of the journey? Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?” Now is your time. Become, Believe, Try. Walk closely with people you love, and with other people who believe that GOD is very good and life is a grand adventure. Don’t spend time with people who make you feel like less than you are. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path.

DJ Lance Rock

Besides, the new Diva necklace – I have also bought myself a new pair of heels – from H&M for only RM79.90 to go along with the Padini Peplum Dress that I bought in February. Dress + Heels + Necklace = I think I should be ready to go then :) Oh, plus the new Dorothy Perkins pleat clutch as well. This is so mah fan…men is just so easy. Ladies have to work out the complete image from head to toe. I know that I may not be as glamorous or even sexy as some of them during the dinner - well, at least I will look decent, appropriate, simple and chic.

FOOFA

Bought the above necklace for an upcoming company dinner next week. Bought it from Diva; a shop that sells trendy, fabulous but still affordable accessories. It can be used for both of the formal & casual events. I actually like to play with accessories…but at times, I’m just plain lazy to play dress-up :) I am always impressed with people - the ladies that can do the whole package. Every morning. Everyday. Without failed. My salutations to them :)

TOODEE

This is actually an unnecessary purchase :) The other day, while hanging out with Miss Klein & Mel Jag at One Utama, we went to the Rainforest Bargain Corner. There was a Timberland Roadshow event that was going on. All of their shoes were going off at RM179. And I just couldn’t resists this pair of Timberland brown leather shoe. It is so comfortable, rugged, adventurous-looking, fully leather both inside & outside, suitable for travelling, long-distance walking and the shoe’s sole actually arch upwards a little with support cushioning to provide comfort for the heels. I can’t wait to try them out in my next adventure. Miss Klein also bought the same pair but in a different color shade and we have decided that we are going to wear it together in our next outing :)

MUNO

The EPL season is back.
The Red’s first 3 points :) Liverpool 1 - 0 Stoke.

no dream too big, no dreamer too small

BKA 6503 hit a new milestone in the month of June. Yes, again…I have overlooked and I’m blogging about it right now :) Time to celebrate - I have finally paid off all of the bank loans installments and now it’s officially mine to keep :) I bought this in 2008 and for the past 5 years, it has obediently serves me very well. Occasionally, I'm the culprit...I have been such a bad owner & driver where I have brought upon it with multiple dents, scratches upon its silver body. So, moving forward, I am going to fix it bit by bit. This car has its starter, power window, car battery (twice), clutch (twice) and tyres changed before. Of course, these days, when its being park alongside the other cars…it’s not as handsome as before, but it have been very good to me :) Now, working in G13 – there is no longer any covered car park to provide it with shade – so it’s under the hot sun all day long, more worst – lagi I sakit hati…but what to do…

Bad Boys Squad

Meet Patrick (from the SpongeBob SquarePants gang) and Brobee (of YoGabba Gabba fame) These vinyl figurines were my belated birthday presents from Turkey Ham :) I wonder why Turkey Ham bought me these…I still can't figure them out.

Fast 7

Best. Day. Ever. – Lunch date with Miss Klein & Mel Jag at Little Cravings, One Utama. Little Cravings is a place that serves Malaysian food and snacks. Their prices are easy on the wallet as well. Then, we went and watched The Wolverine. After the movie, we stop by at the Lavender Bakery for some tea time. This was a surprise. I thought that Lavender Bakery was just an ordinary bakery shop like any other premium bakery outlets there is. But when we walk in – cozily tuck inside was a Bistro; called L.Bistro – the set-up was like Delicious and they share similar menus too. We were kepo and see at what people were ordering & eating and we have come to a conclusion that we must come back here again for their hot meals. There is Asian & Western cuisines. Prices at first glance looks reasonable and the food menu looks very fine-dining-like as well. The place has an awesome selection of real food, beverages, different choices of cakes, desserts and pastries! Their food presentation looks marvelous too – attractive, looks tasty and health supporting. That’s what food should be about – food nourishes our soul, makes us well & happy, to feel nurtured & strengthened. It contains the energy that we need in order to make every aspect of our lives richer.

Life may change but somehow this relationship still remains the same. I have known them since 2005 – we have known each other for 8 solid years now and we are still as close as ever. We may be a little older and a little bit grayer; on Mel Jag’s part :) but, at the end of the day, we're still that bunch of silly misfits who love nothing more than being with each other. We love each other. We are understanding of each other. We make efforts to still keep things interesting & fresh. We seek compromise in our differences. We feel justified over the things one did for the other. We care for each other. We hardly have any disagreements. We just seem to align so perfectly with each other in all aspects. We were happy. Just so ridiculously happy :)

seeking a friend for the end of the world

For the past few weeks, I have been receiving surprise messages on my FaceBook & WatsApp application from Javitha. Javitha is a close friend of mine back from my high school days. But, we have not been keeping in touch with each other after we have left SMKSSAAS. It was a surprise to me that she wants to meet up. She is now a medical doctor, graduated from Russia, her family have migrated to Australia; lock, stock & barrel years ago but they came back recently; decided to re-settle back in Malaysia. Due to her houseman-ship, Javitha have been station in the Serdang Hospital. So, when she asks me for a meet-up for lunch at Pappa Rich, in Section 7 @ Shah Alam, I was happy to do so. I have to admit – when it comes to maintaining a friendship – I am very bad at it. I sucks. With Club 21, The Circle and The Others – I think we have drifted apart at quite a very dangerous level now :) It’s hot & cold, on & off. And I know that when long lost friend who wants to meet up all of a sudden – there is something fishy about it :) And I was right. Javitha was not pushy, she maintains a certain level of cordialness and I was respectful as well. Javitha; together with another classmate of ours; Joots have been involved in an education multi-level marketing business. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m a firm believer & supporter of passive income. I would get myself involve in one if I found one which I feels it’s suitable. I’m already a part of the everyday retail business, if I still have to sell ‘something’ over the weekend – oh boy – enough is enough :) Multi-level marketing is an old business model, but there is always the question of sustainability. For me this business model is more of a hit-and-run-type. If there is no product innovation in the long run – it dies off very easily. Of course, we parted on good terms – even making plans to have a gathering soon. After all, it has been 14 long years. After that, Javitha still remains persistence, inviting me to attend the previews, which I graciously decline. Sigh :) Nonetheless, it was a good meeting - at least I know who is doing what, who is at where and I feel that I still have a pulse on it :)

Known Unknowns

The Wolverine – watched this movie with Miss Klein & Mel Jag the other day. Hugh Jackman was awesome (everyone knows that this lone wolf is at his best when he is actually venting out his anger and frustration; preferably by slashing people with his adamantium claws) but this movie sucks big time. I prefer the earlier movie back in 2009; it was much more better. This story line was so – so. The set-up was in Japan; where there are many ninjas, yakuza gangsters and other vile baddies. The only better scenes were the polished fighting on top of the Japanese fast bullet train and scenes where Hugh Jackman was impressive in the role; adept at both of the action sequences and the quieter moments. Also watchable was Rila Fukushima as Yukio, a tiny woman (who dressed like a Japanese Manga anime) who wields a samurai blade like its part of her. There are many flaws here too – and one of them is a blah romance – I don’t understand why the producers have to insert this part into the movie. No chemistry between the leads. But the Japanese actress Tao Okamoto who plays the character Mariko is surely a pretty chick. This Wolverine movie didn’t bring the house down and it certainly did not deliver the WOW factor that it should be.

Ink Joy

I didn’t count my blessings for the month of June & July. Oh, for the month of June – I only count my blessings for the week of 10th June to 16th June. But then, after that…no more. The reason being was the big letdown of the Shelter 101 Project. There was so much of hatred, anger, bitterness and resentment in me. I was just swimming in them. I thought I had recovered…but apparently I have not…I can’t seem to let it go and walk back towards the shore…but Thank You GOD, Praise To The Lord, Bless You GOD – it has been a very long journey but I have come to my senses that I need to put my life back on track, put my life back in order…as I was running the other day…I ‘talked’ to GOD – I demand that I need an answer now, I demand that GOD should reveal His plans for me, I demand that He should show me the way moving forward, I demand that He should remove the bitterness in me, I demand that He should help me to get my life back to where it should be :) Besides the Shelter 101 Project – I also faces some major road blocks in terms of my working life. It was one hurdle after another. Two upfront battles. I lose more that I win. Deep down, I had a huge hole in my being.

Looking back – I had a whole series of failures in my life; usually because I simply didn’t compute the scale of the problem that was facing me. But, GOD have rescue me from them, countless of times and I’m sure there will be a blessing in disguise for these stories too. I am sure GOD will provide.

The imperfect person is the good person and the person will get better. If you are imperfect, you accept that you’re on a road and you are never going to get there and you’ll make mistakes on your way. People who are sure that they are so good and know better than everyone else will often fall over. There is the 80/20 rule – as long as you get more things right than you get wrong, that’s OK. And if you wait until you get everything right, you’ll never do anything. You’ll be perfect, but indecisive and you will fail big time. It’s about achieving not just OK but the good enough. If you focus on the good enough, you will get better and better. If you wait to get from the good to great, you’ll never get to the good. Life is about understanding. It’s about the small picture. If you don’t understand the details, you get the wrong big picture, and you’re unlikely to make the right decision. That’s how life should be manage and how an individual should manage its life. Life teaches all of us new views and perspectives, if we are willing to learn the lessons of life that doles out to us. I have always worked very hard, and still do, perhaps harder as I strive to get myself and everything better. Fortunately, the challenge of doing the very best I can, is still fun for me. The key here is perseverance.

Well, now – it’s all about starting all over again – try to get up, all of the chess pieces goes back to its original places. It’s time to re-start the new game again. Keep at what I’m doing, try not to get discouraged, keep going no matter what, harden myself to any rejections that I might come across, keep trying to improve, learn my craft and move forward :)

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your Hand
And lead me in Your Righteousness
And I look to You
And I wait on You
I'll sing to You, Lord, a hymn of love For Your Faithfulness to me
And I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go through it all

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your Hand
And lead me in Your Righteousness
And I, I look to You, oh and I wait on You
I'll sing to You, Lord, a hymn of love For Your Faithfulness to me
And I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
I will sing
I'll sing to You, Lord, a hymn of love For Your Faithfulness to me
And I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go through it all
You'll never let me go, oh
We'll sing, Hallelujah,Hallelujah Hallelujah,
Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah
I'll sing to You, Lord, a hymn of love For Your Faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go through it all

HILLSONG - THROUGH IT ALL