send REVOLUTION

I received a very stern warning and a lengthy lecture from my Pa and Mom :( I was so focus in chasing after THIS, that I eventually neglected THESE. Now I suffered a bit of my consequences. It’s either I do the right thing or the easy thing. One of my bad habits is that I always choose to do the RIGHT thing. And by doing the right thing, the path is always the hardest to walk.

The last 9 months have been one hell of a roller coaster ride – a pressure cooker situation. It was not the kind of learning curve that I want it to be or expected it to be; especially on work related but it was a learning curve on a more personal level.
I kind of come face-to-face with having to identify what kind of woman I wanted to be. There’s a point where you’re a girl, and then you’re a woman. So what am I going to do? Are you going to constantly be the girl that kind of follows and does all of these or are you going to be the woman that states what she wants for herself?
Life has not been charmed for me, that’s for sure. But GOD does carry me through. GOD have been there for me, and look after me well. I did go through a time where I was very uncertain and insecure, because everything around me was falling apart. I was a wreck and I couldn’t really hold on to anything. So nothing really made sense. It was confusing and disjointed. I was very frustrated about that because I felt like that was my one sanctuary. For a minute there, I was doing things that were not humanly possible and it was just a miserable way to be…I had to learn from it or quit, one or the other. I’m serious. All of it, every side of it. Never saying NO, always doing everything, accepting everything. Every inch of space was taken up with something to do and somewhere to be and someone to call and someone to talk to and someone to meet…and it’s just too much. I came to a point where I was just sick of being that. Sick of holding in these emotions that I had which were really eating away at me. So I became very rebellious about that, very rebellious about people telling me what they thought I should do and what they felt was good for me. My bad habits - I discovered that I spent a lot of my life feeling like I had to prove myself and please the crowd.
When I am young, I was shy; I don’t react in the same way. Now I am 26, I’ve lived a lot of things in my life, so everything changes. Even in my head, things can change because I go through so many things in my life. I don’t think I’ve changed a lot, but I grow up as a person. I know what happened in the past.

There’s a certain magic that happens when you just let it go, it feels good to be able to let go of a lot of things that were holding me back and coming to a more secure place in myself.

It’s very important to be happy in life :)