Wednesday, October 07, 2009

i think i will be okay

Work Tales:
Prince Badminton Racquet Fair - RM4.8K
Kiddie's Fair - RM68.6K
Outdoor Adventure - RM96K

I am such a ding dong at times :) I finally understand why I am not as ambitious, aggresive and competitive as everyone else...I never work with the intention of acquiring the next promotion or getting the next position. I am paid for my work and I need to give & do my best. I want my family & myself to be proud of the work I do. If the promotions & positions come along, they are just the icing on the cake. So, I work honorably. I work hard and enjoy it :) Whatever I do, I do it well. When the sun sets and I retire...what do I have but relationships? :)

No doubt, I challenge myself with each project...I push boundaries and assess feedback as a point of judgement. There are habits that I have to teach myself to be accustomed to; its the way I analyze, re-act to and judge every instance of my job; which unfortunately has naturally now become everything of what my life is all about! Instead of focusing on the things that I should be doing right next; I was unfortunately dwelling on all the stumbles that I've made since. I've had my moments of whinning; so yingze's feeling better now :) she's gotten pretty jealous at the improvements & progress of her other fellow comrades that have been making lately.

I don't look at my experiences now as better than theirs. I know that currently, some people will envy me more than others, and it's always going to be like this - there is always someone better; always someone worser. Is life fair like this or unfair like this? I don't know...we humans...we like to give qualitative labels to the conditions in which we allow ourselves to live our lives. When the fact is just like this - A Flicker, A Moment & Then It's Gone.

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