Sunday, June 01, 2008

mickey & minnie

Dinner at Sakae Sushi with The Others – in conjunction with Wyatt’s promotion to Job Grade 4 at the English’s camp and also cum farewell dinner for Damian who will be leaving for Hong Kong on the 12th of this month. Damian have secured a buying position with a sourcing & trading company on the island. Lucky brat :) officially an expat now!
Dinner was fun, the conversation was pretty much the same, but it does add some colour to my life…chatting and smiling, everyone was just so happy!


So, I’m turning 26 on this coming Wednesday. It’s an anti-climactic event really.
Yes, I’m one year older. But everyone knows the big celebrations, the big milestones and the big reflections on life are saved for the big 3-0. Yet I’m getting pretty edgy about turning 26 this year. I’m not sure why. The feeling is so incompatible with the rest of my life. People kindly pointed out that I already have everything except for a husband, kids, a car, a house, travel, work overseas – maybe that’s what I should aim for.

WHAT MORE DO I WANT?
WHAT MORE IS THERE??

I genuinely feel like I haven’t accomplished anything yet. Accomplished what?
I don’t know. I feel like I haven’t quite reached my potential – that I’ve been dabbling around the edges of something significant for most of my life. I’ve gone through various difficulties in life, I am suitably adventurous, sociable, and all that - but when it comes to taking risk, I was overly calculative and cautious. I always considered the consequences - and while that sounds like a valuable trait to have - I didn’t take many risks. I didn’t step very far from my comfort zone.
On the other hand, I still feel like I’m 21. I still feel like a silly teenager, happy, girly, irresponsible and selfish. Deep down I don’t feel like a “grown up” :)
Will I ever feel like a grown up? Will I always feel 21?
I know that there’s still SO MUCH in life to try, learn and experience! So much to do! I want it all! Life! Needs to be lived!