Merdeka Raya

Happy 54th Birthday Malaysia! :)

Free and Boundless.

Unburdened.

And Happy.

Princess Hour

Liverpool beat Bolton 3 – 1 :) Newbies Jordan Henderson & Charlie Adam also scored a goal each. I hope that tonight’s match – Man U & Man City will drop points and thus allowing The Reds to be at the top of the table for another week :)

Boys Over Flowers

This morning I have a hot Cadbury Chocolate 3-in-1 drink and Apple Strudel from Corica Pastries specially flown in from Aberdeen Street, Northbridge, Perth, Australia yesterday for breakfast. (This is thanks to my Baby Sis who embark on a 3 weeks holiday adventure in Down Under).

I know it’s a bit silly, but I find that today’s breakfast actually makes me feel really good :) This famous apple strudel is made of layers of crispy pastry with generous amount of apple fillings and custard in between, topped with a thin layer of caramelized sugar. This apple strudel is best eaten hot, right from the oven…but mine is already a bit soggy but the custard and the chunks of apple in it is still delicious. Even though it was more than 36 hours since the apple strudel left the bakery, it was still awesomely delicious! Not overly rich nor too sweet, it was wholesome and definitely very fulfilling. It still look and taste the same when I last tried it in 2005. And I still can’t find such a good apple strudel here in KL that could rival Corica's.

Family Ties

NECF 40-DAY FAST & PRAYER
7TH AUGUST – 15TH SEPTEMBER 2011
BE AGENTS OF CHANGE

I have a Meal Fast this afternoon – my Prayer Points were Family Altar & United Families in the Family.

Perhaps in my 20s or younger, money would have been very, if not the most, important thing in my life. Now in my late 20s – things & priorities indeed have changed. It’s very important to purposefully setting apart time for my family and also time for myself, and time for my friends.

Yes, my family members are far from perfect, they are dysfunctional to a certain extent, I think we have more downs than ups in our family relationship…but I still cherished them to the max. The prayer points serves as a very strong reminder of what I have today and how no amount of money can buy it. It’s a reminder of why it has been worth it to give my life and time to my family. They grow up so fast. My parents are no longer young anymore, 20 years down the road, who knows where all of us will be.

I used to think people just said that. But it’s so true. We know we won’t have our parents or siblings forever, and it becomes clearer and clearer to me every day. I try to cherish time with my parents as much as possible. I never forget that they are the most important pieces of my life and every moment that we spend together is a blessing. Love thy parents.

Moving forward, I will try to love them more. Make time for them. Have alone time with each one of them. Talk to them. Listen to them. Laugh. Be honest. Enjoy them. Create happy experiences for them. Also, be part of my community. Make time for friends. Give my time to helping others. Organize gatherings. Everyone needs affection and consideration too. I want to love my family and the people around me more :)

ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE

Work Tales – August 2010 have recorded the highest furniture sales throughout the whole of last year, therefore this August 2011 is a very challenging month for me to repeat the feat of last year. There were some strong mailers promotions, there were some not so strong mailers promotions, there were some really good killer items, there were some not so really good killer items – so I really hope that by 31st August…with everyone's hard work & effort...by hook or by crook, all of the stores can beat their last year actual sales…or in a worst case scenario, to at least to narrow the sales gap as much as possible.

I know that my Store Team have toiled very hard since 1st July in this Raya Battle, whatsmore the outside market is still soft, the consumers only start to shop for their Raya needs at the very last minute (it only started last week & hopefully it will pick up its momentum this week) and the very intense competition from our competitors which is slashing their prices crazily in order to increase their sales & market share. I want my Team to be rewarded. No doubt that the company have come out with the Raya Challenge competition at the Store & HQ level where the monetary rewards are to die for. But like everything else, there are flaws to this calculation mechanics. Why? Because this scheme only rewards those stores that didn’t do so well last year or for the smaller stores. The calculation is based on the actual sales of 2011 minus the actual sales of 2010 and the value will then be converted to percentage to see which store will have the biggest sales growth progress evolution. So currently, based on the ranking, the top stores who will earn the prize money comprises of smaller stores where as the bigger stores are stuck right at the bottom and these bigger stores are the ones who is contributing at least 80% of the overall company business. I really don’t know who came out with this idea and for me such a calculation is not really that fair. This incentive plan is a bit one-sided. If it were me to develop a new reward plan - it will be best to based on the budget because each stores are different in sizes and every store can compete at a more fairer level. Now, if the buyers were just pump in additional assortments into a smaller store, automatically that store will see a high jump in sales growth percentage and stand a chance to win the reward. And now my big stores teams are very sad and de-motivated. At the HQ level, last year, D31 did very well too, so it’s hard to emulate the sales figure now. So, good luck to me. This year 2011 is when I did some serious growing up. In fact, I believe I have grown up a lot faster (business wise) than I did in my early 20s.

I am also looking forward to the coming Raya holidays…it’s time for me to make time to go away for a little while to be refreshed and re-inspired. It is so easy at times to be buried in consistent mountains of pressure to perform and forgetting that sometimes the best way to come up with a solution to a creative problem is just to step back. Having breathers keep me passionate about my job; and I always return to it with brighter enthusiasm and a collection of new ideas. Isn’t it, where there are instances where you keep question how often do we get sucked into our daily routines and not find the joy in anything we do? How often do we get so competitive in what we do that we no longer enjoy it? How often do we focus on the bad stuff, whine all day and feel there’s no hope? Well, my goals involve approaching things a little bit differently and to be as authentic as I can. Even if I am being over the top or crazy, I want to do something different & original :)

1 of sour, 2 of sweet, 3 of strong, 4 of weak

Robert's got a quick hand
He'll look around the room, he won't tell you his plan
He's got a rolled cigarette, hanging out his mouth he's a cowboy kid
Yeah he found a six shooter gun
In his dads closet hidden in a box of fun things, and I don't even know what
But he's coming for you, yeah he's coming for you

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet

Daddy works a long day
He be coming home late, yeah he's coming home late
And he's bringing me a surprise
'Cause dinner's in the kitchen and it's packed in ice
I've waited for a long time
Yeah the slight of my hand is now a quick pull trigger
I reason with my cigarette
And say your hair's on fire, you must have lost your wits, yeah

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet

My third favorite August song :) Not so much on the lyrics but the quirky melody.

Here’s a heavily blogged about band that is fast gaining popularity in these parts – Foster The People. This LA band trio infectious single Pumped Up Kicks is already a big, shinny tune bowling over the indie & clubber crowd. The band’s sound of an eclectic mix of jangle indie pop dance gives them an edge over the other indie band in its league. However, while this track has a hyped-up appeal, there is a nagging feeling that you might forget this band once the next big thing comes along.

deary

Liverpool beat Arsenal 2 -0 :)

Don’t get mad, get everything

On August 3rd, JAIS (Selangor Islamic Religious Department) conducted a raid at the Damansara Utama Methodist Church (DUMC) hall in PJ after receiving a tip-off that Muslims were present at the appreciation & thanksgiving dinner ceremony organized by an NGO & non-profit organization called Harapan Komuniti; that gave hope & contribution to the needy, afflicted, poor and the marginalized regardless of race or religion. The 12 Muslims who present were also given counseling by JAIS officers. There are rumors claiming that the Church is plotting to grab unsuspecting Muslims and to turn them to the way of the Christ. The team who is responsible for the gathering said that they had no ties with DUMC and the hall there was merely used as an avenue as it was offered to them for free.

So, I am wondering…if a Non-Muslim happens to buka puasa with their Muslim friends at a surau/mosque compound – will there be the same raid happen claiming that they are trying to convert the Non-Muslim to Muslim? The 12 Muslims at DUMC were just attending a dinner…they were not caught singing worship songs or partaking in the bread & wine ritual or even kneeling down and praying to the cross. I really don’t know why all of a sudden the authorities have wild and invalid ideas that the Church is attempting to proselytize Muslims at the gathering. The 12 Muslims are adults and if indeed that the Church is trying to persuade, influence or inciting the Muslims to change their faith…they would also know how to reject and say no to the Church. And I also find some quarters to be very kiasu…trying to Islamize everything. The Non-Muslims also have their rights & freedom stated in the country's constitution too you know.

If this issue is not resolved amicably…Christians in Malaysia would continue to be the target of certain quarters. I could go on and on for ages. There is frustration here. Frustration as I see a great nation sliding downhill. Our country’s strength has always been on our diversity - the diversity of races, religions, languages, cultures and many more. We’ve always found a unique 'Malaysian way' of resolving issues. But over the years, we seem to have lost that somewhat and we need to urgently rediscover it. I’ve said this many times and I don’t want to sound like a broken record. But, I just can’t help but say it again and again…the world is moving at warp speed and it doesn’t owe us anything. If we can’t compete at the global level in a more united way, we will never be able to move up to the high income economy as imagined by the Prime Minister; in fact we might move backwards. Let us celebrate our diversity, be more tolerant & moderate and take pride in our individuality even as we reach across the boundaries of race, religion and culture and unite as Malaysians in chasing and realizing our shared dreams.

A time for timelessness

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

-Christina Perri: Jar Of Hearts-

My second favorite August song :)

Paws Up

NECF 40-DAY FAST & PRAYER
7TH AUGUST – 15TH SEPTEMBER 2011
BE AGENTS OF CHANGE

I have a Meal Fast this morning – meaning; sacrifice one full meal a day…it could be Breakfast, Lunch or Dinner. My Prayer Points were Work, Lifestyle & Pitfalls in the Market Place.

Christian business owners or professional workforce can be the most powerful vehicle for building the kingdom of GOD as well as our nation. It is no secret that a depressed economy is a bed for evil. We can see that now in the Middle East. For as many years, the Church was taught the doctrine of separating the world by Secular and the Spiritual. The business world falls under the secular and therefore, isn’t as important to GOD as the spiritual. But thank GOD for paradigm shifts that has taken place in the global church since the renewed call for the WHOLE CHURCH bringing the WHOLE Gospel to the WHOLE world at the Lausanne Forum in 2004. We can no longer just be satisfied with spiritual salvation while other needs are being ignored. The Bible is filled with admonitions for God’s children engaging in business for just profit and to play a role in providing various supports in all community. God’s promises include giving us the ability and strength to gain wealth and success. God also promise that He can be counted upon in the day of need as well. He is the true source of Provision in our today's world. Unfortunately, many of us have put their trust into the channels rather than the source. Business for the Christian can be a mission for God. Business as a mission means a calling to do business to advance the kingdom of God and to provide for the needs of ourselves and others. The Bible commands: “Work so that you will not be in need and you will have something to share with others”, (EPH4.28) and “If any man is unwilling to work, then neither shall he eat,” (2 Th. 3.10). Business as mission means to use business skills, resources and structures to seek the kingdom of God and to do good to all people, especially those of the household of faith (Gal 6.10). The mission to do business for the kingdom of God is not merely doing business for the purposes of creating opportunities for Evangelism. Work and business are needed in-and-of themselves for the kingdom of God and the welfare of the people. What the poor want is not aid, but jobs – real jobs, not subsidized ones. This is the dignity and self-reliance they deserve.

That’s why I always pray using the prayer of Jabez. Always praying for GOD to bless me lots, to enlarge & expand my territory, to put your hand on me, to deliver me from evil and please let me be a blessing & inspiration to others. I always pray to GOD to shower me with blessings…to use the wealth gain to serve GOD and the community. It’s important to remember to repent for turning the lord’s house into a marketplace, to repent for conforming to the world instead of being transformed by the renewing of our minds, to remember that the Church is to be true to her values while serving God in the world, that the Church would know how to be different and at the same time remain relevant, to be on guard against the love of money and quick gain, to be contended with a moderate lifestyle and to stand firm and trust GOD in the midst of corruption. God knows what my 2 desires are. Thank you GOD, Praise to the LORD, Bless you GOD.

ScarJo

I have my share of bad days.

Since Celtic left, D31 is certainly short of hand. Stewart is trying very hard to accelerate the recruitment process to lighten the team’s load as much as possible. Everyone – the supplier, the store people, the team…even myself is in a bit of chaotic situation. Days where things just don’t go so well. Where people are just disappointing. Where hurtful things hit me. Where the support system failed me. And where everything is beyond my control and the world seems so so gloomy. But thank GOD, I manage to pull through all of it this week. It also doesn’t help when people start to tease me – asking when am I leaving to join Celtic or when am I going to be promoted to replace everyone. Sigh...these people...they got nothing to do is it…better use their strength & time to help the team to win the Raya Challenge instead. What is more hurtful is that...Rufus is one of them. How can that be?! My mentor. But I understand...after falling out with Juan Carlos, Rufus's position is no longer secure. Rufus feel very demotivated, insecure and lack of confidence.

Sometimes I just want to hide in my bed, draw the curtains and feel sorry for myself. But how many of us really have the luxury of doing that for long? Everyone at work will eventually needs the attention. Family will be worried. Friends will be concerned. Work must be done. Life must still go on. And right now, I need to step up…now even more so. Today, I am a Trainee Division Manager. I must admit that I never had much confidence to do what Celtic has accomplished. But I know that I need to try and change to steer my team into the right direction. As for self doubt, are you kidding me? Of course! I am very nervous as all of a sudden, I have to be accountable for all of these heavy responsibilities. Besides, it’s never easy to train people, to convince people, to make people believe & buy into your vision and business direction. People are still people. They are never the same but always different and that makes it tougher for a leader because each individual will requires different handling techniques. My leadership skills are still at the very minimal and I still have lots to learn. I have to communicate at their level not from high above. I need to learn proper conflict resolution techniques…I have to tell them that they are not working for me but working together with me. To touch & to change the lives of so many people is very rare and only a handful of people are really ever made an impact of that magnitude. If I can do that, it would be fantastic. And I know that this will be good for my own personal growth…if I don’t move up the next level and accept the additional challenges…I will be stagnant very quickly and will feel bored & rotten. I’m the type who has got to work.

But thank GOD for HIS Wisdom, for my Store Team, for my Suppliers, for my Top Management, for my fellow colleagues - the best I could ever be blessed with. And also for the opportunity for the continuous learning process.

Yingze’s Crossings

Souled Out, Hartamas – Juan Carlos bought us dinner before he left for Korea for his summer holidays with his family (his wife is Korean). I can’t remember the last time I was there but the place still remain the same…good food, still have a very exciting & cool atmosphere to it and there are still many good looking male & female expatriates filling up the place to the brim.

But something strange happen to me that night. Usually, I will have several glasses of wine or beers when dining out…but that night I have selected a Watermelon Mojito. I have several sips (drank half a glass actually), ate my appetizers which consists of a Mushroom Pizza, Fried Calamari, Fried Tofu with Fish Fillings and Cheesy Nachos…then came my main course which is Seafood Spaghetti. After having s few strands of the pasta, squid, prawns…I began to devour the mussels. They are really fresh though. Then all of a sudden…I began to lost my hearing, my vision was blurred and my head was spinning. I got a shock of my life. What is happening to me?! My fellow colleagues said that I was intoxicated because I have mix alcohol with mussels…could it be true? I just felt that there was insufficient blood going up to my head. After throwing up everything, sweating out the cold sweats and had a few glasses of warm water & tea, I began to sober down. My hearing and vision was back to normal. I'm not a great drinker, I can drink, I drink safely and I do enjoy drinking once in a while...I have never got drunk and I have never experience any hangover. I was worried...what is going on?! The feeling was like I have died and come back again. I am not going to touch anything alcoholic for now :)

Yeah, life does have its weird moments :) But at the same time, it sends out a reminder to me again. I’m reminded again and again that IF I am healthy, and IF I can cope with everything that’s going on, day in and day out, till today…it’s really not because I am strong or capable, but it’s because I am 'strengthened’ and ‘made able’ to carry out the tasks that are meant to be done, with the strength from above. Thank you GOD, I am blessed with a very rich and busy life! I will be more appreciative and to be more accepting of my life and all of the people & material things that comes with it.

I want to stay focused on the positive things in my life. I’m old. I lose track of things, especially the important ones. Sometimes I get really distracted. Sometimes I get absorbed in things and people that suck me dry. I want to focus on the good and walk away from the bad this year. Perhaps all I need is a bigger sense of humor to do this :) I want to be happier too. That sounds simple. But I’m serious. Like really happier in the heart. I want to let go of all of the burdens, sorrow and pain and really find that inner peace and be happier. I think this year I really want to learn to manage myself instead of the problems I face in my life. Good or bad…it’s the way things have turned out to be. And I will make the best out of it :) And I know that the rides will be smooth, and bumpy too at times. But somehow, I’m not too worried about all of that. And I guess, it’s because I know that I HAVE these two things: a very supportive family & friends AND most importantly, a faithful GOD who will walk with me, through sunny and stormy days. Always.

Good going

First match of the season and Liverpool draw 1 – 1 with Sunderland :( We could have garnered 3 full points and we just totally blew it away. After a strong match showing performance in Malaysia by beating the local team 6 - 3, The Reds began to suffer a very horrific pre-season of defending...they have let in a staggering 15 goals in 5 warm-up games. And these are against lower-level football clubs. I’m not even talking about Manchester United, Bayern Munich, Ajax or Barcelona...of course, in their last lap; they managed to beat Valencia 2 -0. But the point in hand is that the players must keep a clean sheet and defend better. We have invested so much in the new players...and I hope that they can get it right this time around. They do not have the Champions League & the Europa League to play in, therefore; they should have the energy & capacity to win the local league. They have got the new players coming in, now they must win each game.

I am determined to hang on to my ordinariness

Chest to chest
Nose to nose
Palm to palm
We were always just that close
Wrist to wrist
Toe to toe
Lips that felt just like the inside of a rose
So, how come when I reach out my finger
It feels like more than distance between us

In this California king bed
We're ten thousand miles apart
I've been California wishing on these stars
For your heart for me
My California king

Eye to eye
Cheek to cheek
Side by side
You were sleeping next to me
Arm in arm
Dusk to dawn
With the curtains drawn
And a little last night on these sheets
So, how come when I reach out my fingers
It seems like more than distance between us

In this California king bed

We're ten thousand miles apart
I've been California wishing on these stars
For your heart for me
My California king

Just when I felt like giving up on us
You turned around and gave me one last touch
That made everything feel better
And even then my eyes got wetter
So confused wanna ask you if you love me
But I don't wanna seem so weak
Maybe I've been California dreaming

In this California king bed
We're ten thousand miles apart
I've been California wishing on these stars
For your heart for me
My California King
My California King

In this California king bed
We're ten thousand miles apart
I've been California wishing on these stars
For your heart for me
My California king

- Rihanna: California King Bed-

My favorite August song :)

adult consciousness & the naiveté of a child

On the 31st of July last month, I celebrated my third anniversary working with the French. The past 6 months of this year were by far the highlights of my entire working life of 6 years. Thank you GOD, Praise to the Lord, Bless you GOD. I survived it all :) My life has certainly turned out to be far different from what I had originally planned for it to be.

Many lessons are hard-won. Much of whom we are and the choices that we have made are contextual. At times, what motivates is knowing that the more desperate the case, the more this means giving up is the worst thing you can do. You ask yourself ‘what is the point’? But beg the heavens anyway. Some of us pray while running. I did :) As a buyer, the decisions that I have make have impacted the chain of suppliers, the store people, the top management, my fellow colleagues and the customers. Sometimes, there are no second chances. Disappointments made me re-evaluate my expectations of myself, of my work, of my workmates, of my superiors…who are after all; only human. There are times it was hard to admit that I was wrong and I was angry for not listening to my instincts earlier. It was also difficult to learn firsthand that I was not always capable of perfect forgiveness. Humility is often hard won and bound in sorrow. Ironically, learning that I was not as kind as I thought has taught me compassion. Then there was the issue of people perception of me. What if I couldn’t handle people’s opinions of me? I know that shouldn’t dictate a person’s degree of peace or happiness in life but the problem is; I choose to be in a business that is saturated in judgement.

Since I hold this Furniture Portfolio for 10 months, many changes have been made:
(1) I have introduce a series of new furniture collections – namely the Kinda Children collection, the Cubby series, the Compact Range series, the Fabric Box series, the Oak collection, the White collection, the Walnut collection, the introduction of new Non-Woven Wardrobes with colors and the introduction of new Chairs collections.
(2) This year, for the very first time – a breakthrough have taken place where I have take the first baby step to increase the front margin + back margin for Consignment suppliers.
(3) I manage to seal a deal with a supplier to sell RM9.90 3 Tier Utility Shelf – the cheapest in the market where I beat the English flat :)
(4) I also manage to get strong support from a supplier to sell a 2 + 3 Door Wardrobe at RM199 – we are the champs in the market and all hells break loose. Our competitors went berserk on how we can capture such a crazy price.
(5) RM49.90 for a 4 feet Banquet Table. The English sold at below cost, while I manage to fight with the supplier to give me margin.
(6) I have the chance to participate in 2 sourcing trips to Yiwu and the Canton Fair in Guangzhou.
(7) I am the first buyer who advertises Dreamland Mattress in a hypermarket catalogue format.
(8) I manage to secure a Dreamland Mattress Press Ad with a very super crazy deal – Back Support Spring Mattress with 10 years warranty for RM399 (Single Size) and RM599 (Queen Size).
(9) The promotions and salary adjustments from Senior Category Manager to Trainee Division Manager. This great opportunity, this radical transformation, but a hesitation on my part to accept the full responsibility of what was given to me :) But I will try and embrace it.

Thank you GOD for giving me the strength, the perseverance, the wisdom and the common sense. Thank you GOD for placing important & supportive individuals and planting the neccesary support system to help me to pull through it all. Thank you GOD for all of your blessings. Throughout the whole duration, life basically has taught me, is that you have to count your blessings. You just got to keep GOD present at all times. It never fails to move me and give me hope again.

Getting older, you get more comfortable in your body and in your skin and who you are and you have more of a f**k it attitude :) I have been very careful and much controlled in my 20s and I’m was just being more aware of my every move. Now, I think there's more freedom and comfort and none of it really matters, as long as I am enjoying myself and having a really good time. Not hurting other people - of course, that goes without saying.

Looking back the past 6 months - I am filled with a wonderful sense of nostalgia and strength. When you have gone through so much in so many ups & downs situation, you seem to have an overwhelming sense of strength, clarity and purpose, and yet helplessness and vulnerability too. Either way, the cool thing about getting older is readjusting your perspective on life based on your everyday experiences.

Little moments can define us.

Celtic drop da’ bomb. Celtic’s last day was on last week Friday. Indeed, it was a major surprise & what a shocker to everyone in the office. Who were had thought that Celtic will leave us one day. Celtic loves the retail job very much. Too much! To Celtic, Passion is Business. I was a little bit in between. Happy that Celtic have received such a good offer from our Hong Kie competitor. And also sad to see Celtic go. Celtic have pour in so much of effort into D31 and Celtic will no longer be here to enjoy the results in year end. But seriously, I am actually happy & glad…maybe I can no longer stand Celtic’s arrogances & cockiness…Celtic’s daily repetition on how smart & capable Celtic is, Celtic’s much loved relationship & strong support with the suppliers, the store people and the top management that adores Celtic. And I term this as subtle bullying…if you decipher Celtic’s sentences line by line, word by word...there is always a double meaning to it where it makes a person feels inferior & useless. I finally understand how Damian feels. I thought I was the only one victim because to a certain extent, I did share a close bond with Celtic. Celtic is ambitious & aggressive…intelligent, a strategic planner who is always ahead of everyone by at least several steps, very combative...everything Celtic does, there is always a reason behind it. Celtic will make sure to great lengths that I will always be below Celtic, never on par or above. Celtic even wants to bring me over to D33 to ensure that I will not be in power & authority because D31 is the biggest department in the whole of Bazaar Division. Celtic sees me as a threat. Celtic miscalculated & misjudged when Juan Carlos promotes me to Trainee Division Manager. Celtic thinks too much because I have never wanted these in the first place. Other than that, Celtic is overall a very nice & loyal person. I will not forget the knowledge that have pass down to me, the opportunities to learn & to try new things and the good treatment that I have received all of these years. Celtic have to treat me right for sure...I know too much, I see too much. I shall forgive and not bad-mouthed Celtic.

Sometimes I don’t realize that I am compromising myself all these time. I tolerate. To a certain extent, I don't feel anything anymore. To understand that a person is not good for you, or that the person is not treating you in the right way, or that he/she is not doing the right thing for others — if I stay, then I am not doing the right thing for me. I love myself enough to walk away from that now. Luckily, Celtic walk out first. But I am still the same person, only stronger now and more positive :)