I have my share of bad days.
Since Celtic left, D31 is certainly short of hand. Stewart is trying very hard to accelerate the recruitment process to lighten the team’s load as much as possible. Everyone – the supplier, the store people, the team…even myself is in a bit of chaotic situation. Days where things just don’t go so well. Where people are just disappointing. Where hurtful things hit me. Where the support system failed me. And where everything is beyond my control and the world seems so so gloomy. But thank GOD, I manage to pull through all of it this week. It also doesn’t help when people start to tease me – asking when am I leaving to join Celtic or when am I going to be promoted to replace everyone. Sigh...these people...they got nothing to do is it…better use their strength & time to help the team to win the Raya Challenge instead. What is more hurtful is that...Rufus is one of them. How can that be?! My mentor. But I understand...after falling out with Juan Carlos, Rufus's position is no longer secure. Rufus feel very demotivated, insecure and lack of confidence.
Sometimes I just want to hide in my bed, draw the curtains and feel sorry for myself. But how many of us really have the luxury of doing that for long? Everyone at work will eventually needs the attention. Family will be worried. Friends will be concerned. Work must be done. Life must still go on. And right now, I need to step up…now even more so. Today, I am a Trainee Division Manager. I must admit that I never had much confidence to do what Celtic has accomplished. But I know that I need to try and change to steer my team into the right direction. As for self doubt, are you kidding me? Of course! I am very nervous as all of a sudden, I have to be accountable for all of these heavy responsibilities. Besides, it’s never easy to train people, to convince people, to make people believe & buy into your vision and business direction. People are still people. They are never the same but always different and that makes it tougher for a leader because each individual will requires different handling techniques. My leadership skills are still at the very minimal and I still have lots to learn. I have to communicate at their level not from high above. I need to learn proper conflict resolution techniques…I have to tell them that they are not working for me but working together with me. To touch & to change the lives of so many people is very rare and only a handful of people are really ever made an impact of that magnitude. If I can do that, it would be fantastic. And I know that this will be good for my own personal growth…if I don’t move up the next level and accept the additional challenges…I will be stagnant very quickly and will feel bored & rotten. I’m the type who has got to work.
But thank GOD for HIS Wisdom, for my Store Team, for my Suppliers, for my Top Management, for my fellow colleagues - the best I could ever be blessed with. And also for the opportunity for the continuous learning process.