adult consciousness & the naiveté of a child

On the 31st of July last month, I celebrated my third anniversary working with the French. The past 6 months of this year were by far the highlights of my entire working life of 6 years. Thank you GOD, Praise to the Lord, Bless you GOD. I survived it all :) My life has certainly turned out to be far different from what I had originally planned for it to be.

Many lessons are hard-won. Much of whom we are and the choices that we have made are contextual. At times, what motivates is knowing that the more desperate the case, the more this means giving up is the worst thing you can do. You ask yourself ‘what is the point’? But beg the heavens anyway. Some of us pray while running. I did :) As a buyer, the decisions that I have make have impacted the chain of suppliers, the store people, the top management, my fellow colleagues and the customers. Sometimes, there are no second chances. Disappointments made me re-evaluate my expectations of myself, of my work, of my workmates, of my superiors…who are after all; only human. There are times it was hard to admit that I was wrong and I was angry for not listening to my instincts earlier. It was also difficult to learn firsthand that I was not always capable of perfect forgiveness. Humility is often hard won and bound in sorrow. Ironically, learning that I was not as kind as I thought has taught me compassion. Then there was the issue of people perception of me. What if I couldn’t handle people’s opinions of me? I know that shouldn’t dictate a person’s degree of peace or happiness in life but the problem is; I choose to be in a business that is saturated in judgement.

Since I hold this Furniture Portfolio for 10 months, many changes have been made:
(1) I have introduce a series of new furniture collections – namely the Kinda Children collection, the Cubby series, the Compact Range series, the Fabric Box series, the Oak collection, the White collection, the Walnut collection, the introduction of new Non-Woven Wardrobes with colors and the introduction of new Chairs collections.
(2) This year, for the very first time – a breakthrough have taken place where I have take the first baby step to increase the front margin + back margin for Consignment suppliers.
(3) I manage to seal a deal with a supplier to sell RM9.90 3 Tier Utility Shelf – the cheapest in the market where I beat the English flat :)
(4) I also manage to get strong support from a supplier to sell a 2 + 3 Door Wardrobe at RM199 – we are the champs in the market and all hells break loose. Our competitors went berserk on how we can capture such a crazy price.
(5) RM49.90 for a 4 feet Banquet Table. The English sold at below cost, while I manage to fight with the supplier to give me margin.
(6) I have the chance to participate in 2 sourcing trips to Yiwu and the Canton Fair in Guangzhou.
(7) I am the first buyer who advertises Dreamland Mattress in a hypermarket catalogue format.
(8) I manage to secure a Dreamland Mattress Press Ad with a very super crazy deal – Back Support Spring Mattress with 10 years warranty for RM399 (Single Size) and RM599 (Queen Size).
(9) The promotions and salary adjustments from Senior Category Manager to Trainee Division Manager. This great opportunity, this radical transformation, but a hesitation on my part to accept the full responsibility of what was given to me :) But I will try and embrace it.

Thank you GOD for giving me the strength, the perseverance, the wisdom and the common sense. Thank you GOD for placing important & supportive individuals and planting the neccesary support system to help me to pull through it all. Thank you GOD for all of your blessings. Throughout the whole duration, life basically has taught me, is that you have to count your blessings. You just got to keep GOD present at all times. It never fails to move me and give me hope again.

Getting older, you get more comfortable in your body and in your skin and who you are and you have more of a f**k it attitude :) I have been very careful and much controlled in my 20s and I’m was just being more aware of my every move. Now, I think there's more freedom and comfort and none of it really matters, as long as I am enjoying myself and having a really good time. Not hurting other people - of course, that goes without saying.

Looking back the past 6 months - I am filled with a wonderful sense of nostalgia and strength. When you have gone through so much in so many ups & downs situation, you seem to have an overwhelming sense of strength, clarity and purpose, and yet helplessness and vulnerability too. Either way, the cool thing about getting older is readjusting your perspective on life based on your everyday experiences.