Taking your soul to work.

Ok, I’ll admit it.
I am a control freak. A little bit :)
It’s freaking irritating. But I can’t help it.
My biggest wish in life would be to have a say in every single thing in my life. Everything would then fall completely in place and according to my plan. I need to be the commander of my ship. I never abandon it. I am stubbornly undeterred by the obstacles that come. I would turn and bend and twist and twirl, and find my way through them.
We are raised to set goals for ourselves. To work hard to meet those goals. We are taught to persevere and never give up. We are raised to plan, strategize and move in a specific direction.
What we are never taught until we are almost close to going mad, is how NOT to bite onto something like a mad dog, refusing to let go.
And THAT is one lesson I badly need to learn. I need to learn that life is not perfect, and I do not need to control everything in it.
Sometimes a tiny part of me wants to let go of the steering wheel for a while too.
But I don’t know how to. I’m used to getting things done in the way I want them to be. I’m used to being resourceful and finding solutions to the problems…and also keeping things to myself.
And suddenly when I am really at a dead end, I have to ask myself, “Do I suffer great losses just to get there? Or do I switch course and learn to manage on a new path?”
If stubborn-ness could kill, I would be dead a long time ago.
Argh!