RULE 38: Stand Up For Others

So, you’re all sitting round having coffee when the subject of young Adam comes up. Now we all know that Adam is a pain in the backside. He doesn’t pull his weight, goofs off, steals the pens and paperclips, is rude to the security staff, always off-loads as much work onto others as possible, blames others for his mistakes, and is generally obnoxious. So you all have a moan about him behind his back, and get a lot of your anger about his behavior off your chest. But you don’t. Oh, the others might but you won’t, not from now on. You are now a Rules Player, and you stand up for others. 

No matter how obnoxious young Adam is, you will always find something nice—and genuine—to say about him. That is your objective—find something nice to say no matter what.

At first this may be quite hard, but if you persevere it becomes increasingly easy—it’s all a question of habit and mental outlook. If we are used to bitching and moaning, then that’s what we do. But if we change our approach, we can be more positive—though it does take a bit of effort initially to make this change. 

Standing up for others, no matter what, gets you a reputation as someone who can always find something nice to say about everybody. Thus, those who you would have moaned about know that you, of all the work force, will always be fighting their corner for them. It gets you unwritten loyalty and a sort of guardian angel relationship with the more unpopular members of the team. 

This is a strange relationship to have, but it works wonders— these are the people who will back you in an emergency. They will let you know if someone is trying to mess you up. They will pull out all the stops for you because they know you care. If you need a favor, they will be the ones to call on.

It’s amazing how quickly the word will spread that you are a thoroughly nice person—you don’t bitch, you don’t moan, you stand up for the underdog, you are supportive, and you can always see at least one good point in a thoroughly bad apple. Obviously, you will have to do this in an honest and sincere fashion—it’s no good lying or making it up. If you, at first, simply can’t find anything positive to say, then shut up. But there is always something nice to say—nobody is completely evil or wicked or nasty. So, back to young Adam. What are you going to say? Well, for a start you could point out that he makes good coffee. Or that he is always on time. Or he is very good at handling irate customers. Or he has a brilliant sense of humor. Or he always knows the football scores. Just keep saying “But he’s good because he …” 

IT GETS YOUR UNWRITTEN LOYALTY AND A SORT OF GUARDIAN ANGEL RELATIONSHIP WITH THE UNPOPULAR MEMBERS OF THE TEAM.