RULE 40: Ask Questions

The object of the exercise is to become: 

• Popular 

• Promotable 

• Successful 

• Thoroughly nice 

• Efficient 

One of the easiest ways to do this is to learn and practice the habit of asking questions. What sort of questions? Well, that depends, obviously on the situation. For instance, in Rule 38: Compliment people sincerely, we used a couple of examples where the follow-up question is useful—“I really liked your presentation. I thought you were incredibly calm. How do you avoid shaking?” Or—“I like your new method of handling invoices. What gave you the idea?”

Asking questions shows that you have paid attention, care, are interested, are thoughtful, are considerate and intelligent and creative. Stupid people don’t ask questions. Bored people don’t ask questions. Lazy people don’t ask questions. Any questions? 

Belligerent people tend to make statements—“I don’t like that idea; it’s unworkable.” Rules Players ask questions; they might mean the same thing, but they handle it differently—“I think I need more information about this idea. How do you see it working? Will dispatch be able to handle the increase in orders? Can we provide enough extra staff to cover? Maybe we all need to go away and think about this one. What does everyone else think?” You haven’t said the idea stinks, but they know you think that but they also think you’re a thoroughly nice person—you haven’t shot them down in flames in front of their colleagues, but you have given them enough rope to hang themselves if they want to. And you’ve given them a way out if they choose to take it—go away and think about it a bit more means let’s not hear about this again, but it’s a terribly diplomatic way of saying so. 

Asking questions is a very nice thing to do in a general way. It shows you are interested in your colleagues. But do make the questions genuine and sincere, worthwhile and kind. 

There’s very little point in asking, “Where on earth did you get that coat? You can’t think it suits you, surely?” Much better not to dwell on the coat if it really is horrid. Ask instead about the work: “How come you can always do this invoicing so quickly? Do you have some secret the rest of us don’t have?” As in the case of standing up for someone—even if they are loathsome, there will always be some good point about a person; no one is totally wicked—so too with questions. There will always be some aspect of someone’s work that you could ask about or their hobbies or social life or family. Even if it’s a simple “How are the kids?”, it cuts the ice and makes you nice. It opens up dialogue, generates pleasantness, and creates warmth among people who have to work together every day.

IT SHOWS YOU ARE INTERESTED IN YOUR COLLEAGUES.