Mad & Not Normal

Bashes from Ursula >> Ursula have been mumbling a lot to me this week, in many directions, in all sorts of shapes & sizes. She feedback to me that I am a very smart person, I like to brainstorm, but I am not highly motivated to speak out. We work as a team, I should not be shy if I do pass on some work for Ursula to do. Ursula said that she will not bad-mouth me. She wants to do the indent part. Ursula felt that she deserves the Germany incentive trip. I need to be a marketer, don't focus so much on the products itself, but focus more on the business side of it. I'm very paper-oriented, once I'm done at the paper level, I will leave it as it is & I won't see or think further into the operations level or to look at the bigger picture of things. I am not people & business management enough. I am not fast enough for her, according to Ursula; its time for a hip-hop dance and not a waltz routine. I have so many ideas but I am slow in organizing, planning, implementing & executing them. I sweet talk a lot to pacify her. I don't walk my talk, no actions are being taken, like a tin kosong. I am having small imporvements but no big changes. Ursula told me not to think too much, just do it right now. Don't just look at the stationery items anymore, its time to explore other areas to provide better input into the category. Ursula mentions that when she is ready, she will kill me off. I am repeating myself all over again. No more bull-shitting. Don't simply guess anymore. Check before answering…where is she going with all of this...sigh...she notices everything...I am a bit lost here.

Is she having a confidence or assurance problem here? I thought I was the one facing such a dilemma. Seriously, with or without me, Ursula can drive this department all by herself. Even Paige acknowledges that. Ursula can also just kill me off like that. She can even put me in cold storage too. I will not be able to escape from there; unless I resign. Don’t ever underestimate this Ursula. She has this very strong inner strength inside of her. Just like Iron Butterfly.