Out & Proud

Final game of the year - Craig Bellamy scored twice for Liverpool and substitute Steven Gerrard netted another to cap a 3-1 comeback victory over Newcastle in the Premier League :)

Life; Beautifully Arranged

:)Yes, today is the eve of the New Year 2012. Throughout 2011 – I have been blessed tremendously with much happiness, love, laughter, the good & bad times, the achievements & the failures - and I must say, I’ve found it to be both very fulfilling and rewarding.

2012 will be a very challenging year for me in very front. Nonetheless, I have armor myself and prepare well for any onslaughts that are coming my way :) I know that I am a good seed – GOD will provide the sun & the rain to nourish me; and I can & will grow anywhere and everywhere. I am placing my trust in GOD for the many breakthroughs in my life next year.

Air + Ocean

Iron Butterfly resigned! Totally unbelievable. I couldn’t believe my ears when Stewart broke the shock news to me this afternoon. Iron Butterfly is not only a workaholic individual but she is also fully dedicated to the company as well. Iron Butterfly is like married to the job & the company. We never get along well when Iron Butterfly was posted to here in 2008. We have more down moments together than up. Nonetheless, I am very thankful for the knowledge & guidance that Iron Butterfly have passed down to me. I always have and I always will. I heard that the stress was the culprit…I'm almost resigned to the fact that we have the problem of a very weak company and we will never be able to achieve our previous glorious results with the rate & strategies that we are currently going. Only time will tell whether the top management have make the right or the wrong decision in steering us into this direction. And to add to the problem of our ailments, we have a very competitive market & strong and richer competitors.

As for myself, I am not so sure either. I was indeed hesitate to take up the offer. I want the increment but not the title :) It will certainly stress me up to the maximum. But lately, I am feeling GOD’s presence is around me…I think everything should be ok. Even through all the logical, rational ways that I use to make decisions, I find that learning to listen to my own gut more is still a very valid way to find the right path. When something’s amiss, your gut will tell you. When something’s absolutely right, your instincts will let you know too. I think it’s important to advocate positive thinking everyday.

Sack & Loot

Merry Christmas :)

Foreign Affairs

I just came back from my holidays in Hanoi, Vietnam.
It was sad when the time comes to say my goodbye to Hanoi. Life is so much simpler and basic in Hanoi. Being in the business of RETAIL is almost a carnival life atmosphere; minus the actual moving from town to town and being on the road. I wasn’t looking forward to going back to the 8.30am - 6.00pm worker bee life in the concrete jungle :) It was only 5 days, but my friend & I really packed a lot of things into those 5 days. I can’t wait to start the New Year to readjust and realign my life :)

Dark Secret

I went for the Japanese Interview :) All is well…I will be having 3 buyers working under me…I don’t have to do a weekly catalogue anymore…finding money will be so much easier…their 2012 strategy is to have a major range change, something that I am doing currently…BUT…the main office is very far…and…I have to work on Saturday; alternate Saturday…on a full day basis…when I hear this…I very SIEN already :( I would like to dedicate my weekends to my family, my friends and myself…work-life balance.

They have yet to get back to me…I don’t think they will hire me…even if they want to hire me…as I have blogged earlier on…I already have the answer. This job opportunity is not so much about the opportunity itself…when I was feeling very very down during that period of time…GOD blessed me with this opportunity…that itself indicates to me that GOD is by my side. And that assurance is more than enough. Nonetheless, I hope with this sharing session…I hope that I have build up the relationship & point of contact with them. Who knows…after all, the retail industry in Malaysia is a very small one.

Networking, building relationships, what the Chinese called "Quan Xi", is very important in today's business. Sometimes, its not what you know, but who you know. You never know who you meet may be your guardian angel in disguise. Of course I don’t go around making friends with an ulterior motive – if you are not sincere, people can see through you. If you use people, it can only work once or twice before you lose your reputation and that, if once lost cannot be recovered…especially, in my area of work – ethics are so important. And so, I keep a constant check on my value system. I believe that with a strong value system, one need not fear judgment day because one would have been led by strong values and would have walked a path of good and not one of self destruction.

The Drive Of Life

Lexie drop da’bomb…Stephanie drop da’bomb :(

I’m very happy for these young individuals when they are given the opportunities to further their career elsewhere with better increment & benefits. I’m so excited when someone who has the guts to end what is hindering and negative in their life, to do something positive and enriching. However, the downside to it is that right now Team Baz is really indeed short of horsepower & firepower. What’s more, both of them are leaving the team at the most critical of times – BTS, Christmas & CNY 2012. I remember that I used to job-hop as well…I didn’t stay very long in SAM 25 & in SEGI. But that’s life.

Now, I hope that the company will quickly hire a Toy Buyer and an Admin Executive…seriously, I know it’s not that easy. Yes, there are choices available…but the quality…hmm…I pray to GOD and keep my fingers cross that good candidates can be found. Someone who is determined to go, willing to learn, willing to try, willing to experience, takes the initiative, genuine & sincere, fair & justice, doers rather than talkers, believe in meritocracy, be transparent…I hate people who are into how large their office space is going to be, or "What car do I get?" And, of course, "What's my title?". I pray that the right ones will turn up.

Fires Back

Full-time: Liverpool 1-0 QPR.
Suarez nets the winner on 47 minutes.
Three well deserved points for the Reds.

at the begining

Liverpool 1 – 1 Manchester City :(

It’s always like that isn’t it? The Reds can always play very well when facing their bigger opponents…but when it comes to smaller teams, they tend to flop really easily and lost all of their full crucial 3 points. Come on boys...

Irish Smile In Your Eyes

Yeah, uh, uh
Yeah
It's the world's greatest
It's the world's greatest
C'mon, yeah
The world's greatest

I am a mountain, I am a tall tree, ohhhhh
I am a swift wind sweepin' the country
I am a river, down in the valley, ohhhhhh
I am a vision, and I can see clearlyyy

If anybody asks you who I am
Just stand up tall
Look 'em in the face and saaaaay

I'm that star up in the sky
I'm that mountain peak up hiiigh
Hey, I made it (Um)
I'm the world's greatest
And I'm that little bit of hope
When my back's against the rooopes
I can feel it (Um)
I'm the world's greatest

(The world's greatest)
(The world's greatest)
(Forever)

I am a giant, I am an eagle, ohhhhh
I am a lion, down in the jungle
I am a marchin' band, I am the people, ohhhhh
I am a helping hand, I am a heroooo

If anybody asks you who I am
Just stand up tall
Look 'em in the face and saaaaaaay

I'm that star up in the sky
I'm that mountain peak up high
Hey, I made it (Um)
I'm the world's greatest (Um)
And I'm that little bit of hope
When my back's against the rooopes
I can feel it(Um)
I'm the world's greatest

In the ring of life I'll rain love (I will rain)
And the world will notice a king (oh yeeeah)
Where there is darrkness, I'll shine a light (shine a light)
And the mirrors of success reflect in me (meeee)

I'm that star up in the sky (Ohhhhhhh Yeah)
I'm that mountain peak up high (Hiiiiigh)
Hey, I made it (Said I made it)
I'm the world's greatest (I'm that little bit)
And I'm that little bit of hope (Of hope yeaaah)
When my back's against the ropes (I can)
I can feel it (Feel it)
I'm the world's greatest

(Ohhhhhh) I'm that star up in the sky (Star up in the skyyy)
I'm that mountain peak up high (Oh yes I am)
Hey, I made it (I made it)
I'm the world's greatest (I'm that little bit of hope)
And I'm that little bit of hope
When my back's against the ropes (When my back's against the ropes)
I can feel it(I can feel)
I'm the world's greatest

I saw the light (I'm that star up in the sky)
At the end of a tunnel (I'm that mountain peak up high)
Believe in the pot of golllld (Hey I made it)
At the end of the rainbow (I'm the world's greatest)
And faith was right there (And I'm that little bit of hope)
To pull me through, yeah (When my back's against the ropes)
Used to be locked doors (I can feel it)
Now I can just walk on through (I'm the world's greatest)
It's the greatest

It's the greatest
Can you feel it

I saw the light (It's the greatest)
At the end of a tunnel (Can you feel it)
Believe in the pot of gold (It's the greatest)
At the end of the rainbow (Can you feel it)
And faith was right there (It's the greatest)
To pull me through, yeah (Can you feel it)
Used to be locked doors (It's the greatest)
Now I can just walk on through (Can you feel it)

I'm that star up in the sky
I'm that mountain peak up hiiigh
Hey, I made it
I'm the world's greatest
And I'm that little bit of hope
When my back's against the rooopes
I can feel it
I'm the world's greatest

-R.Kelly: World's Greatest-

GOD’s Gift/Gracious Gift/Glorious Gift

This week is Thanksgiving week :)

There is so much for me to be thankful for. I’m thankful that I have a healthy body, that my family are in safe hands, I have a roof over my head, I have my own bed, I have food on the table, I have nice clothes to wear, I have a car to transport me anywhere, I have a job, I have sufficient income which allows me to save for the future & to pay for my current bills & expenses, I have families & friends by my side, I have laughter, joy, peace in my daily life…I’m also thankful for second chances. Because I’ve screwed up so many things in my life before. I am only where I am today because I was blessed with second, sometimes third chances…I’m thankful for all of the good people in my life. The ones that I love and who love me unconditionally. The ones who tolerate my shit and put up with my crazy ideas. The ones who always always forgive me for my mistakes.

I’ve concluded that it is best to be happy, to just accept what life has to offer, to go with the flow, keep my head held high, try my best in whatever I do, harm no one and hope no one harms me too :) Should I be lucky enough to stumble on pockets of pleasures along the way, I’m thankful and that’s happiness enough for me. Now when something good happens, I quietly cherish it. It is the small things these days that make me truly happy and which I long for more. Happiness is waking up to a perfect mug of MILO. Happiness is the knowledge that my family is safe. Happiness is that there is no traffic jams when going to work. Happiness is when all things go smoothly at work. Happiness is seeing my Store People can perform their jobs independently. Happiness is when my Suppliers & Store Team are being rewarded for all of their hard work. Happiness is when Liverpool wins their matches.

I used to be a lot greedier. In my teens & early 20s, I was preoccupied with why I wasn’t happier and how I could and should be happier. I had myriad reasons & excuses for not feeling on top of the world every single day – if only I was doing better in my job or earning more money or going for luxury vacation or having a wardrobe stashed with branded clothes or driving a BMW or a more beautiful, smoother face complexion :) When I was seriously hunting for happiness, I discovered that happiness was hard to sustain. Happiness is a moving target. Getting a much hoped for promotion at work might have brought happiness for a few days, but that joy faded very quickly and I was soon back to feeling vaguely dissatisfied again. After a while, the chase became meaningless. Why bother? Why let something that’s basically out of your control affect you that much? Does it matter truly? So, I just want to be happy…I'm generally happy every day of my life. I'm the sort of girl who makes the best out of every little thing about each day to convince myself; "Hey! This ain't so bad at all! In fact; this is great”! I’ve been feeling much better lately, and it’s a nice reminder that happiness is a daily commitment.

I will be thankful in all circumstances :)

Counting Your Blessings, Seizing The Day, Spreading Joy

Thank you GOD, Praise to the Lord, Bless you GOD :)

On Wednesday night - I received a very surprise phone call from one of my suppliers; Mr. Ken. A Japanese retail company wants to head-hunt me. I will be meeting up with Mr. Shoji & Madam Tang on next week Tuesday. This I have to thank Mr. Ken whom I’m sure have given them a very good recommendation of me. Even though, I think I know what my final answer will be…but I’m very thankful for GOD’s presence here in this matter. This indicates to me that GOD is still with me…I'm actually having an internal conflict of my own. I don't know whether should I voice out to Juan Carlos & Stewart that I want to remain in charge of my Furniture Portfolio in 2012 because I'm really afraid that I will not be able to do a good job in D33. Then this opportunity suddenly arise from nowhere. It was so totally unexpected. GOD has given me another option to consider. This gives me further courage & motivation to take the next step, to have that leap of faith, to embark on my new journey bravely, to know that if I fall into any holes in the future, GOD is there to pick me up again. What I thought would be the worst week of my life has turned out to be one of the best. GOD, you’ve changed my life. GOD makes me want to be a better person so that I can lead by example.

I’m going to be 30 years old next year. I can't imagine that there will be another one opportunity quite like this at my age. I'm at a stage where people rarely knocks on my door anymore. And I think I am extremely lucky to have had the one shot this year that I have had at it and I wouldn't go looking for lightning to strike twice. Because lightning indeed do not strike twice at the same place.

I have lots of thoughts this year because I feel like the past 1 year has been the most significant year of my life. I feel…well…old. Not old as in physically old. Well, that too, but won’t whine about that here. I feel like I’ve grown up so much in this one single year. I’m a lot calmer and collected these days and I don’t freak out as quickly over everything now :) I’m more selfless and I don’t think about what I can get back for everything that I do for others now. I know what I want in my life now and what’s important. And I never ever thought that this day would come where I will get to move my career forward because for many many people, including my parents & myself – they never ever imagine that I will arrive at this point. I have so many flaws and imperfections in me. GOD has been good to me :)

every move you make

Liverpool beat Chelsea 2 - 1 :)

My Prince

Today is Sunday. Today is a great day. It feels great. Why? Because it just is. There doesn't have to be a reason for everything. Not right now. And certainly not today. I believe that tomorrow will be even better. But I'll just have to wait and see :) Life is crazy hectic. But very fulfilling right now.

I'm All In One

Yesterday, I had a quiet lunch all by myself at Delifrance, Mid Valley. Delifrance is a bakery company that serves French style bakery products, coffee & full set western meals and they are one of the pioneer cafes that started very early in Malaysia before the emergence of StarBucks, Dome, Coffee Bean, Old Town Kopitiam, Uncle Lim’s etc. Lately, there are just so many eateries around with a wide varieties of choices. The food & beverage market is so competitive these days. Some manage to stand strong, others is losing their footing.

I know some people have problems eating alone. They look at me funny when I chirpily announce that I had the most amazing lunch alone. I love eating by myself especially if it’s breakfast or lunch. It gives me the chance to slowly go through my to-do list or work list in my brain, plan out what to do when, not have to talk (except to myself in my head) and really concentrate and taste my food as I’m spooning it into my mouth. You’d be surprised how good the food tastes when you take the time to appreciate it, to notice its color and texture, and put 100% concentration into what you’re eating :) Plus, it's good for the digestion too.

I sat there and ate my meal slowly and leisurely. Jasmine Tea with Steak & Mushroom pie. I browsed through the Jusco magazines and the ToysRus catalogue from cover to cover. I enjoyed the busy hum of the restaurant. And most of all I enjoyed the sheer quiet of my personal space – no one nagging at me, no complaining, no rush. Just me and my own thoughts. It was divine :) All of my grieving issues has just disappeared :)

Pencuri Yang Mencuri Impian

Yes, I have not been blogging diligently lately. There is just too much of issues that is going through my mind and additionally, there is also too much to do as well. Writing this blog is a commitment. Every input that I put into this site is a memory locked down. I may not remember what I did today next month. I’ll definitely not remember what I did today six months later. And there’s no way my memory can get better in a year’s time :) If I don’t have a blog, how will I remember all of the great and not-so-great emotions that I go through, the things that I do, the places that I went to, all of the good moments and not-so good moments that I’ve had, all of the amazing food that I ate, all of the crazy thoughts & dreams that I had, all of the worries, problems and dilemmas that I’ve encounter, my passion for Liverpool & football, saying my prayers & praises to GOD, my hopes & dreams and all of the little things that I’ve seen and marveled at in my life? :)

Whoever thinks that they can remember stuff without a blog or a journal is just being arrogant. And whoever thinks that not being able to remember the past stuff isn’t that big a deal is being ignorant. I can’t imagine not remembering how I lived my life because these days, the years fly by so fast. And trust me; it’s really nice to be able to remember your life in great detail because you wrote it down. Ten years from now, I will read my own words and know that I will have a small smile on my face. If I have children in the future, my children will read them and remember how they used to be :) My grandchildren will get to know me in a way that would otherwise be impossible :) It’s practically making history :)

When I first started a blog, it was the year 2005, the month of September and I had just graduated from Murdoch University, a freshie; a Management Trainee in a Dutch multinational retail company. I remembered it was a new, exciting & difficult time in my life as I just enter into another new phase of my life and I had started a blog to write down my feelings. The blog was private and I loved being able to rant and use expletives if I wanted to. Eventually, I realized that a private blog would turn me into a negative bitch of a person if I didn’t have anyone reading my words and I said stuff carelessly without having to take any real responsibility for it. Just a few months down the road, I would look back, read my own posts and cringe at the person that I had been :)

Fast forward, and my blog is still a private blog :) However, as I want to live my life better, where I want to be a better individual as I grow, I change the way I see things, my surroundings and my experiences. This is now the place where all of the most emotions and daily life experiences which are precious to me are stored. I take responsibility for every word and every picture that appears here. There is nothing journalistic about the way I write or the stuff that I talk about. I’m not a tourism board or a reviewer or trying to teach anyone to do anything. This is just a happy place, that’s all...for me :)

Most days, I write because I want to. I need to find the highlights of my every day and write it down. I want to count my blessings and thank GOD for everything. I worry that when I have nothing to write about. It means to me, that I’ve been living a life that was not worth talking about. Horrors! It would be time to do something about it. Of course, once in a while, I do get into a state of lethargy about writing and my brain gets a little stuck. Writer’s block. I start finding excuses about why I don’t feel like writing. Not enough material. No nice photos. Tired. Not in the mood. So yeah, writing a blog is a commitment. It’s like having a relationship. Or having children. You start it, and then you have to commit to it. You don’t write a blog because you have the time to. You write a blog when you want to.

AAAA+

This week is my grieving week.

First, I grieved because…I feel so hopeless…I’m in a war zone…I cannot do anything to stop them…and Stewart & Juan Carlos didn’t come to my rescue. Anyway, if the both of them do appear in the picture, they still can’t do much as well because it's no longer something that they can control. The Shopping Mall Department has officially took away my Sri Petaling & Subang Jaya store territory last week…and this week, they attack my Wangsa Maju counter. If they are so fantastic in their work, why can’t they first improve their inside counters first, before taking my outside counters where I know that my suppliers have work so hard in building up the sales and customer flow. And this CEO – I have worked so hard to deliver the numbers, yet I feel that he is so blind to ignore them. I don’t denied, by handing over the areas to the Shopping Mall Department, the revenues from the tenancy may be double than my sales income but my income is for the Merchandising Department. I represent 30% of Team Baz. Plus, the Mid Valley store is currently undergoing major revamping for the MARS Project…the contractors are already there to remove the flooring…the sales are slipping away. I really layu…I tak bersemanaget langsung. It’s like; I work so bloody hard for the past 10 months and for what. What did I get in the end? Nothing! No one seems to appreciate it. These counters contribute; on an average 40% to my portfolio business and when the sales drop, the big guys only know how to question me and demand action plans & solutions on a weekly basis…leaving me alone with the sharks. I have to answer to my suppliers and be accountable for my store team performance. They are aware of the situation but I still have to fight the battle alone. I really feel so mad, so tired, so suffocated, so sad…I really feel like tearing. And I am angry...extremly furious with this external circumstances...that when I only left another 2 more months to close the year, these unfortunate incidents have to happen to me. Why? I just want to close the YTD gap positive. Is it too much to ask? Can’t I have a happy-ending for my 2011 story? The stress of being in this job overtook the happiness of being in one. If I want to be grateful or seeing a blessing in disguise in this situation is that the takeover is happening right now and not earlier.

The second grieving issue is that Aurora has resigned and Juan Carlos wants to park me back in D33. That department is in a terrible mess. From A to Z. And the major question is I don’t know how to start, where to start and what to start. Plus, Lexie also resigned. More stress for me :( How am I going to straighten up this department next year?! Staying in my current Furniture portfolio, I also die because my consignment counters is being washed down the drain, thus it will be hard for me to achieve LFL next year…handling D33 – I also will die because it is the most problematic department that is in a very dire situation. Both option also a do-or-die-situation. But I agree with Stewart, if I don’t take this opportunity, I will remain stagnant. I want things to progress. I hate stagnation. I am not putting an exact deadline on my work expiration date, but I see it coming one day. I think I may need to start to develop my other interests.

Thirdly on 11th Nov (the auspious 11.11.11), when I went online on FB that day – the first thing that appear on the screen was the good news that both Amadeo & Callum have tied the knot with their respective partners which I’m very happy about. In Callum’s case…yeah, it indicates to me that I could have all of it if I didn’t let Callum go. I ended the relationship to be alone because I don't want to waste somebody's time if something's not right. And I don’t deny, as a human being, there was indeed a mixture of regret, jealousy and bitterness inside me :) But it’s ok…after a few days, I’m already over with it. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t missed being in a relationship or having a very limited social life or seeing everyone else around me is in love & starting a family of their own :) I guess it’s hard to see people deliriously happy and in love when you yourself have fallen hard out of love, and that was a couple of years ago? How time flies. And now, I’m seeing everyone else tying the knot and have babies. But at the same time I don’t want to waste my youth on duds or people who don’t know what they want. I think its official, there are no men in KL for me :) I am single. I like someone with a bit of an edge. Someone who's passionate about what they do. But I guess I haven't found that magical combination of everything yet. Someday I'll find someone (crossing fingers). Besides, I’ve never experienced certain things, and I think that’s because I have this side of me that is totally shut off. Because I haven’t found anybody yet to open to that…I feel like, 'OK, you’re worth breaking down that wall for'. I’ve never found that.

And lastly, I was at MPH the other day...the 2012 horoscopes book was out...so I innocently began to read through some of the predictions & fortunes for those who are born under the Dog year in the year of the Dragon. I got depressed further because apparently because next year, it is not a good year for the Dogs in every aspects of their life – from their career, wealth, fortune, health to relationship. I got de-motivated even further, like there is nothing for me to look forward for next year. This year of the Rabbit, the Dog will gained the most vast fortunes compare to the other animals in the calendar...well, to a certain degree, it was true because my career journey this year was indeed very very very blessed. Yes, I know that I’m a Christian, I should not believe or trust in such things in the first place, but I can't help it. I even surprise myself because I cannot believe that I am so badly affected after reading it, like I actually believe in it...and then after that, one problem after another starts to surface...and the Lunar New Year has not even begin yet :( I'm like a magnet. I need to be with people who have a lot of positive energy or in a environment where there are many positive chi around...then, I will be raring to go. I will be zero if there is too much of negativity around.

This week events will not bring me down. I’m a firm believer that every problem has its own solutions. Even leaving things alone, is also a solution in itself. I’m still very determined to achieve my goals and dreams. I’m still ambitious. I still believe in having faith in GOD. And that GOD will still bless me richly, abundantly and generously in everything I do :)

Life does indeed need to be a variety of emotional experiences to be complete :)

The Swans

Liverpool endured more home frustration as they were held to a 0-0 draw by Swansea at Anfield on Saturday as Kenny Dalglish's side suffered a fourth draw from their six Premier League games in front of the Kop this season. The Reds' lack of a cutting edge could cost them dearly in the race for a Champions League spot :(

DREAM HIGH

Thank you GOD, Praise to the LORD, Bless you GOD :) - every year on the 1st of November, I would marvel at how fast time has flown. It’s cliché but really, where has 2011 gone? October is also the month where I celebrated my 1 year anniversary of taking over the Furniture Department. Lots of ups & downs; but thank GOD - I managed to pull through every obstacles smoothly :) Another 55 more days to go, I will close my 2011 year and say hello to a brand new 2012 year. And like every year in November, I will be in a reflective, appreciative & grateful mode, looking back at 2011 and reminiscing about the days, but the truth is – 2011 was probably one of the best years of my career life since 2005 :) I get to travel – 4 times I get to be on the plane; flying to Yiwu in March, Guangzhou in April, Guangzhou again in October and Bangkok in October. I get to move my career forward; from Senior Category Manager to Trainee Division Manager :) I get to learn & experience lots; both professionally & personally. The support, help and encouragement from the suppliers, the store people, the top management and my fellow colleagues has been fantastic. Thank you GOD for placing these individuals in my life and this year, in you – I have found peace, inner calmness, balance, purpose and laughter. GOD, you also have help me to remove my fear, my hesitation and my procrastination…giving me the full strength, perseverance, courage, confidence, wisdom and common sense in leading my life this year. Your blessings this year for me have been absolutely amazing. They're really rainfalls from heaven :) Really, I’m joyful and I’m enjoying every day of what’s happening to me. I can’t ask for anything more. And I pray that this strong & good momentum will bring forward to next year and for many years as well :)

Even though my MTD & YTD sales are still down, but looking at the bright side of things…it could have been worst. As usual, my work will continue & always be this challenging and never-ending, whatsmore with the Shopping Mall Department working into my territory now and taken away my Sri Petaling & Subang Jaya counter stores. There will be more changes in my Mid Valley & Wangsa Maju stores as well…nonetheless; I believe with every problems, there are solutions in itself.

For next year, I should just resolve to live my life better. Continue to have faith in GOD & to believe in myself. Humility. No ego. No hang-ups. The ability to adapt to change. Decisive. Made rational decisions. To be brave to take the risks and to change the norm. Adding extra value to my life and everyone else. Always be positive. It will also be the time to love myself a little bit extra, and giving something back to myself. Life is much more fun that way. And live my dreams. I only get to live once, so I am going out there and do whatever I want. I only have one life - I shall make the most out of it.

Oh, and also to give back more…and to stop whining here and to document more good stuff & experiences :) And finally to be contented! No matter how much we have in life, it’ll never be great till the day we feel we have enough :)

Overall, I can definitely do with a 2011 year again. So bring on some more good stuff, 2012! :)

GO FORTH

The advice that was given to me was very clear – that you can make a choice with what you are most comfortable with. I'm actually taking this bold decision, an unbelievable decision, a very hard decision – I’m excited to begin a new phase, a role that I might have been afraid to play before. I'm not preparing myself for anything. I'll just see where it goes. I am so appreciative and trying to enjoy it as much as I can because this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Thank you GOD, Praise to the LORD, Bless you GOD :)

Gym Class Heros

I'm one of those people who love to sit by the window in an aircraft. I love the clouds and landscape when it’s a day flight. And I love looking at the city lights when it’s a night flight. The pictures above were taken on my flight back from Guangzhou, China to KL. I was in China for a week to attend the 110th Canton Fair with Juan Carlos, Azreen, Snow Petrol & Victoria.

Let my life be one of this simplicity, cleanliness and honesty. And fortune will be at my doorstep :)

a Gentleman's game played by Brutes

Manchester City beat Manchester United 6 – 1.
This is what it calls Money vs Experiences. MU suffered their worst and most embarrassing home defeat ever in the Premier League history of 85 years at Old Trafford.

a Brute's game played by Gentleman

New Zealand beat France 8 – 7 at Eden Park Stadium in Auckland :) The All Blacks lifted the World Cup for the second time after a gap of 24 years since 1987. Some credits must be given to the French as well as they have been very impressive too since day 1; having been written off by everyone but themselves.

super bad

I came across this fun quiz called Webify Me on Baby Sis’s blog last night. It is a simple 20 questions quiz about an individual online habits and once answered, it will create a custom mosaic of your web life. You then are allowed to click on each item of your mosaic to reveal the pop-up descriptions for a more in-depth look of your web habits.

Here are the breakdowns of what some of the item in my mosaic represents:

Dinosaur Toy – Internet Explorer! You sure are. Glad you’re here, checking out Mozilla Firefox. We hope this means you’ll give a new browser a try. Here’s a completely unrelated totem, in the meantime.

Mahjong – you make your own luck, for you know fortune favors the fun loving! To you a day without a quick game is a day wasted. Life’s too short to sulk, when you bear the colorful mark of the Player. (you’re also possibly a Chinese or a grandmother)

Spork – Is there anything more versatile, efficient and useful than a spork? The very word is a model of multitasking efficiency. It shows you like to handle lots of things at once, and take big bites. Chew well!

Harmonica – you’ve earned the harmonica, a silver badge of self-expression. You take life’s lemons and turn them into melodious, slightly buzzy lemonade.

USB Drive – technology lives to serve, and you like your information portable, pocketable and sharable. That’s how data becomes action, and gadgets become essentials.

Carabiner – you have drawn the mark of the connection; active, strong, and reliable. That’s you. People count on you to keep grounded at all times, even up in the air.

Friendship Pin – the Friendship Pin – an unbreakable bond between you and your BFF. It shows you are loyal, willing to wear your love on your sleeve (or sneaker).

Bandage – the adhesive bandage – mark of the Healer. You seek the perfection of the human form, or at least one less headache.

Sunglasses – your future is bright!

Bookmark – as easy as clapping on a light, its what you’ve been waiting for – the one-click bookmark. Don’t you have enough to do without having to suffer the indignity of multiple clicks?

Sketchbook – entire worlds can be captured within a little sketchbook, worlds both real and imagined. You use many different tools to communicate your vision. Traveler.

Pop Magazine – why, look at you. Clearly, you bear the mark of The Fierce. You know what’s hot, but rock your own style, and can dance on that fine line that separates dandy from dowdy.

Houston, we have a little problem here

Tin Min drop da’ bomb.
Rufus drop da’bomb.
October is the month where I bade my farewell to this 2 gentleman :( They were simply amazing to be with. Full of fun and laughter. I swear we almost couldn’t get enough of each other. The only sad thing I felt was that Rufus left the company as a bitter man. Rufus & Juan Carlos cannot see eye-to-eye with each other on many issues. Both of them just cannot agree with each other working styles and business directions. It have come to an extent where Juan Carlos don't even trust Rufus with the business. They have a very complicated and difficult moments together but I guess that these things happen in the corporate world where there is a lack of chemistry & understanding between the boss & the employee...and that at certain moments, regardless of the talent that you have, it is your time to leave the company or leave the industry overall and life still goes on.

Now, there is only Stewart & myself left in Team Baz. There was this moment where I felt so alone...so lonely...when Rufus walk out of that door. Everyone have left. There are so many newbies around, majority of them coming from the English.

It also reinforce to me that everyone is replaceable, it is important to do an honest work everyday and to be a better individual.

It was a wakeup call for me to be a better person at work and also in life. Because what goes around comes around. I realized that I have always been judgmental and opinionated. I was self righteous and in many many occasions, I thought I knew it all. How many times have I been quick to say someone was a retard...or an idiot...or an asshole...or an irritant...or a bitch...or brainless in my heart silently? Did I always stop to consider if those criticisms were fair? Did I ever stop and look at myself and see how I was being rude and nasty instead? Now that I’m in a more matured position, I don’t want to be that way anymore. I don’t want to be so high strung...so hard on people and on things...so quick to jump to conclusions...so critical and so unforgiving...and I don’t want to behave like I know it all anymore. Well, at least not all the time :) Being in a leadership position is difficult and I want to assume the responsibilities gracefully. And to me, it starts first in our attitude...then in behaviour...and lastly in appearance. Being gracious, kind and tolerant is eventually what I hope for. I would hate to be cranky and angry all the time. It's a huge challenge to remain compose all the time while devising ways for the whole team to acknowledge, to buy into, to believe in and to accept my business visions, business strategies, business plans, business ideas & business solutions. It is even tougher to rally them around, to bring out the best in them and to get them to work collectively as an efficient system.

So yeah, their departure was a blessing in disguise. It makes me want to be a better person, to keep on improving & fine-tuning myself.

today is no fairytale

Liverpool 1 – 1 Manchester United :(
We were just this closed to get that crucial 3 points at Anfield…and that pea; that Mexican Pea Javier Hernandez have to equalize at the 81st minute. The only good thing that emerge from the game was seeing Captain Steven Gerrard is back to his level best and even managed to scored a goal :) Liverpool is now fifth at the table with 14 points.

Ayu & Tampan

New Zealand booked their place in the Rugby World Cup finals on home soil with a dominant 20 - 6 win against Australia at Eden Park :( I will support the All Blacks to beat the French in the finals.

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish

Steve Jobs's Stanford Commencement Address:

"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle".

"Almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart".

"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary".

This is yet another reminder to me that we must follow our hearts and live our lives well. We have to stop chasing things that are trivial and live the lives that we want, do the things that we want to do and love all the people in our lives that matter to us.

Live Louder Than Life

Now that I'm a woman, and because I have already given it my all in everything that I do, I tend to shift my focus somewhere else these days. I can decide that I want to have a more balance life. I can be the person that I want to be and to dedicate myself to my interest and future. But trips like this (Bangkok business trip) still nourishes me because it opens up my world. I get to travel, I get to see the culture, the people lifestyle & values, I can experience it all and more importantly I get to learn & love all over again. Everything that I see, I touch, I taste, and I experience, everyone that I meet, I get to know and learn from, shapes me into who I am. For the future. I love that my ambition, my brains, my passion, my energy, my independence, my excitement for life is still in me. I learn something new in every country that I have visited. Here in Bangkok – I had to tell myself to never complain about my own work & life after that. It was a very humbling moment. Compared to them, I have such an easy life. I don’t have to do backbreaking work to survive, my living environment is so much more comfortable compare to them…and I must always remind myself what a lucky bugger that I am. GOD, I hope I never stop traveling as much as I can till the day I die.

While I was there, I get to be alone with my thoughts - I’ve been thinking so much more about my life as well. I am thinking about my life like – how I want to live it, what I want to do. This time it was also more on… where do I think we go after life ends here? Personally, I think we become bright stars of blue light, floating amongst other blue stars. All are equal. Or perhaps, Saint Peter’s Heavenly Gates does exist.

Then it made me think of my current life here. Now. And all the things that I want to change or make it happen. I want to spend more time with my family & friends. I want to travel to every corner of the earth that I possibly can. I want to go back to school (if possible). I want to build something that I can be proud of. I want to dispel any negativity that corrupts my mind. I want to stop complaining. People may think that traveling is a whimsical way to spend money but I strongly feel it feeds my soul and inspiration, which in turn, feeds other areas of my life that need it to strive – like my career, outlook on life and relationships :)

my sun & shield

People and suppliers are very curious & surprise that I didn’t take over Celtic’s place after Celtic has left. The reason that I didn’t want to step into the Division Manager position is because I am not ready yet. The reason that I didn’t want to take up Celtic’s portfolio is because I didn’t want to compete with Celtic, I want to move away from Celtic’s shadow, I want to develop my own niche in the retail market and also knowing that, since Celtic is so close with these suppliers…it will be a disadvantage for me to be in this business. These suppliers have been with Celtic since day 1…since the M13 days. That's why they are very close. I know for sure that whatever I do here, every single move that I make…the suppliers will bound to report back to Celtic. Even if the suppliers are ethical enough on not to share sensitive information with Celtic, but knowing Celtic very well...Celtic will get the answers one way or the other. This is because Celtic knows our inside operations too well and Celtic have already build a strong bond & trust with these suppliers, thus already created a very significant impact on them. And, we as human beings will have favoritism and this is where Celtic will gain because the supplier will tend to side Celtic. Even Mrs. Simon was smart enough on not to enter Celtic’s territory. Initially, Mrs. Simon was supposed to take over Celtic’s portfolio…but I guess after seeing how the suppliers tend to be in Celtic’s comfort zone…dictate that we must follow Celtic's old way of doing things...Mrs. Simon decline the offer...it is going to be a very heavy task to get the suppliers support…it’s like moving mountains and it is a very time consuming process. Even the newcomer; Azreen who replace Celtic already find it difficult in her first week here. I foresee that the only trick to get out of this mud hole is to work with the suppliers that Celtic is not align with.

I am not here to replace Celtic and I would be wrong to try that. Celtic was the best player in Team Baz and one of the top buyers in today’s hypermarket retail industry. I have no aim to become that. My target is simply to try to reach my highest level as an individual and to help the team. If I try to be equal to or be better than Celtic, I would be confusing myself. We’re different personalities with a different style. I must find my own way to do well for the team. The pressure and comparison is definitely there for sure. It’s in our human nature to compare and to critic. I just don’t want to be a Trainee Division Manager with the big title but an empty shell in it. However – knowing myself very well - if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. I'm at peace with whatever the plan is. People said I’ve changed much. Well, here’s the truth – I grew up. I stopped letting people push me around all the time. I learned that you can’t always be happy. I accepted reality.

'A man is happy so long he chooses to be happy and nothing can stop him' - Alexander Solzhenitsyn

Sector 4

It was a fantastic business trip altogether. I truly Thank GOD for giving me this golden opportunity for being able to travel with Juan Carlos to Bangkok. It really opens up my eyes and my mind. We met up with 4 very big & fantastic suppliers in Thailand; we have meetings with them, we share business ideas & experiences with them, we exchange our economic, political & social views with them, we negotiate contracts terms with them, we visited their showrooms & factories, we get detailed inside informations on what our Malaysian competitors are currently up to :) we even went to do market survey together with them at Tesco Lotus Extra, Big C and HomePro.

Tesco Lotus Extra has just got a make-over recently and it looks fabulous. For the first time, I see a hypermarket where the non-food section takes up 75% of the floor space and the remaining 25% of the selling floor goes to the food section. See, how it already differs from the Malaysian market business model. Their fashion label F & F is such a huge brand name over there. It was like a shop-in-a-shop concept. In the non-food sections, every category has their own different display assets and standees which makes all of the products look very outstanding. When it comes to the Furniture Department, Thai customers profile is so much different from Malaysian customers. They pay more attention to quality, hence the Thai market promotes more on solid wood items and their knock-down furnitures are at least 2 inches in thickness. While here in Malaysia, in order to sell at a particular price point - I have to cut down the thickness to half an inch. Very embarass isn't it? In the Stationary Department, there is a section dedicated just for office supplies only. In the VCD/DVD sections – they have a good selections on blu-ray disc titles, documentaries, Korean pop culture, cartoons etc. The Children section was even more beautiful, they have these cartoon brand name pop-ups to indicate that this element is for Mickey Mouse toys, this element is for Barbie toys, this element is for Ben 10 toys etc. I really like this new look. I am sure that the English in Malaysia will implement this new concept very soon. Meanwhile, Big C was more like the French here before they start the revamping session and created the new Bazaar seasonal Alley. I like that they too are selling mattresses and they even have special assets for it to display & also the big furnitures. I guess as people evolve, with more spending power, with a higher standard of living expectations, people are always going to want newness in everything, just like they want new pop stars & fashions every day.

There is so much of walking around, meeting with people, looking at retail shops, taking photos, taking down notes etc. I have learned and gained so much, in terms of business, cultural, consumer behavior etc :) I even underestimated my competitors here. They are no longer doing regional sourcing - the latest trend is that they deal directly with the manaufacturers, bypassing the local trading companies, hence they are getting very sharp pricing for their items. Well, everyone seems to be travelling somewhere for work these days, and I never get to go. This is one opportunity where I’d be able to rub shoulders with others and see what they’re up to (people in my industry). I’d like that very much. But I also count myself very lucky because Stewart could not make it for this long trip due to family commitments and Celtic is no longer around. I wish I had more of these chances when I was younger, when I was building up my career. When you're young - 25 or 27 - you have the energy and drive. That's the time to work as hard as you can. I think I am very rusty now :)

Burning Flame

Juan Carlos brought me to 2 very interesting place to eat for dinner during our business trip in Bangkok:

Bistro M – it is an international, upbeat & trendy bistro in downtown Bangkok, hidden well inside of Marriott Executive Apartments in Sukhumvit Park. This gem served breakfast, lunch & dinner with a mouth-watering menu crafted of Thai & International delicacies. I have a bowl of steam rice that goes with the excellent stir-fry lamb with basil leaves and crème bulle for dessert. The food was very expensive but the portions were big, more than enough actually. If you ask me. The service was EXCELLENT there. We got so much of attention and explanation from the staff. Very fun & friendly people. It’s one of the most sophisticated restaurants that I’ve ever been to. It’s a really nice experience. You see; I love fussy, expensive food in posh restaurants (fine dining style), but I’m also perfectly happy with plain old chicken rice or a kebab by the side of the road. I'm a foodie :) The bistro has a very cool modern art and expensive feel to it. The bistro’s atmosphere was a quirky combination of fancy + hippy elegance blend in altogether. I was COMPLETELY FLOORED by it’s amazing sense of design – great shape. Great proportions. Great colours. Great lightings. Nice use of symmetry.

Seafood Market & Restaurant - it's a fish market + restaurant :) Another famous eatery in Bangkok. They have a very nice & interesting concept here. Customers can push their trolley and they can go from aisle to aisle to select whatever seafood that they want to eat. There are so many varieties of fish, prawns, crabs, lobsters, clams, shells...anything that can swim to choose from. They even have a vegetable, fruits, wine & liquor and bread section. Once you have finished buying the food that you want to eat, you can then proceed to the cashier counter to pay for the food. Then, you can inform the staffs on how you would like your food to be cook and they will do the rest. You can request for fried, steam, bbq, grill, roast, eaten raw etc. What makes this reataurant so different from the rest that I have been to is that it very clean and it has a wider selection to choose from. Decor is to the minimal but the atmosphere is totally very relaxing. Very beach & outdoor feel to it.

I ate a lot of good food in Bangkok, I am not sure by now how many kilos I have pile on already :)

Go Forth

Refresh @ 24 Spa & Massage – this is one of the biggest and luxurious spa in the heart of Bangkok city. The location is so convenient that you can just simply hop from any shopping centers into this spa. They offers an extension range of massages, body scrubs, body wraps, bath therapies, traditional Thai herbal body steam and facials. Before being posted to Malaysia at the begining of this year, Juan Carlos was residing in Bangkok for 8 months...therefore, for this trip, I was very fortunate because Juan Carlos knows the place very well and even brought me to eat some very good Thai food. Even this spa is one of Juan Carlos favorite hang out space with his family.

Since I have been standing & walking all day long, non-stop – I decided to reward myself by having a go for the 90minutes foot massage. Their massage therapist have guided me through the most sensual massage with the use of their pure and natural aromatic products. After the massage, I woke up feeling rejuvenated and refreshed. I can even feel the perfect balance of my body & soul :) And these massage therapist really treats you like a Queen. I don't even have to lift a finger to do anything. I was being pampered to the max. They even go to the extreme by helping me to remove my shoes & socks. I guess this is because it is indeed hard to make a living in Bangkok where the economic climate is in slow gear and they are being surrounded by very tough competition because there are so many massage parlours in every street. They are all hard workers who have to work hard to earn a decent living. While we are like fat cash cows to them :)

5 days of war

Dine @ 7 - it is a sparkling modern coffee shop in Majestic Grande Hotel. This is where I have my breakfast every morning with Juan Carlos, overlooking the pool area on the open-air terrace. Having breakfast by the swimming pool every morning is a breath of fresh air :) I can even see the JW Marriott Hotel which is our opposite neighbor. Lavish buffets are presented for breakfast with a wide selection of International, Thai & Asian dishes. Every morning, I will help myself with their rich varieties of ham, sausages, bacons, pastries, cakes, cereals...anything that I don't get to eat back home because my mummy says that all of those hams, sausages & bacons are processed meat, thus they are very unhealthy :) and fruits…they served the most freshest & juiciest fruits ever – mangos, kiwis, dragon fruits, oranges, apples, grapes etc. Every morning, it is a routine where I will eat till my heart & stomach are content while my Boss eats very little while making morning phone calls back to the office to make sure that the daily operations are in order :)

The Pink Promise

Majestic Grande, Sukhumvit, Bangkok – I wish I was there for a good holiday, nope…instead I was there for a business trip together with Juan Carlos and we stayed in this stylish boutique hotel for 3 whole nights. This hotel comes with 251 rooms and is located in the heart of Bangkok truly lives up to its given name. The Majestic Grande enjoys a convenient central location; it is close to all of the major embassies, banks, shopping & entertainment districts, it has easy access to the ultra modern Bangkok Mass Transit System (BTS Skytrain) which is linked to the Mass Rapid Transit (MRT Underground) system, it is also well-link to Sukhumvit Road, Rama IV Roads and onto the elevated highway networks.

I like how the hotel’s exterior and interior architecture & designs which combines Thai contemporary décor and state-of-the-art modern technology with a warmth & comfort of hospitality which is uniquely Thai. My room 2106 was a Grande Superior (28sq.m.) room. I have a king-size bed (which is kind of too big for me) and a 29” TV :) The floorings are made of a rich tropical hardwood and polished granite. I have a panoramic view of the city. Also, there is this medium-size executive professional practical writing desk and the bathroom is lavishly appointed and beautifully equipped.

I must admit, I’ve never stayed in such a large and luxurious room before…some more alone…all by myself :) I was terrified and thrilled at the same time. At first, I gingerly crept around, thinking eeek!, and didn’t dare to touch anything. Then I decided to JUST GET OVER IT YINGZE – and had a nice hot shower, sit on the couch, with my big fluffy pajamas, feet up, watching football matches & movies that are available. The only thing that was missing was eating a fine dinner brought up to me by the excellent room service. Sigh, then on Thursday; it was time for me to say goodbye and go back to KL. Home sweet home. I came back to a relaxed and happy household in Shah Alam - and it felt so good :) I missed my bed and my bolster :) I’m always glad to be home again.

Brilliant Legacy

I hope that when I go into the office on next week Monday morning – the traffic situation is already back to normal. What a shock that I faced when for the first time, there was a massive traffic jam starting from the Glenmarie exit, all the way to SS16 Subang. I hope by Monday that the police have already clear out and open up the road for a smoother flow. It's really annoying to be stuck in a jam when going to work in the morning and coming back from work late in the evening. Seriously, I really hate jam. Thank GOD, I worked nearby. I would have gone nutty if my work place were in PJ, Damansara, Cheras, KL or anywhere else that is far and jam. On the first day, when the incident happens...the traffic were so bad, it was just standing still...Victoria, Ling & myself decide to chill out at Skewers with cranberry juice & tiramisu until the traffic flows got better.

The damage to the Empire Shopping Gallery is really bad. Some said it was like an earthquake which hit the building…I say it look more like ala terrorist attack. But actually the source of the blast was from a gas pipe leak from a restaurant in one of the basement premises which cause the blast at 3.45am. Nearly the entire stretch of the front portion of the newly-built mall was blown out, damaging a number of cafes, restaurants and clothing stores including Tangs & Starbucks Coffee. Many tenants were badly affected by it and the 1 year old shopping mall is temporarily shut down until further notice. And 1 interesting finding that emerge from this incident was that the building was only given a temporary CF (Certificate of Fitness). However, the Mall Management stated that the damage was extensive, with 5 floors being affected but strongly asserted that the building’s structure is still intact. I really like this mall, it has a very good mixture of food & beverage tennants and a very good selection of branded clothing stores. No doubt, the space is small, thus limiting the number of assortments that it can carry, but nonetheless, the basics are there. The one thing that I dislike about Empire is its parking space. I find it small, crampy, confusing and a lot of pillars in between.

Nonetheless, Thank GOD – the explosion did not happen during the day time…the injury count would have been much higher and more serious if the explosion did occurred during business hours. I used to go there during weekdays for lunch and leisurely meal during the weekends. I could have…die…you know. Life is fragile and so scarily short.

it's raining girls

Liverpool beat Wolves 2 - 1 :)

The Kitchen Musical

No matter how much I love my life right now; there are always moments where I feel absolutely suffocated and choked in it. I guess it’s the same for everyone else. Since September 11 – I have been feeling very down, lots of negative energy inside of me, my motivation is zero, my morale is low, I can't focus, every day is a struggle to go through…I don’t know…maybe I see that there are just too many flaws, weaknesses and imperfections within me, I know what is the root of the problems are but I just have no idea on how to overcome them. You know the drill – the feeling of being rotten at relationships, awful taste in men, downright terrible at my job, no friends in keeping me semi-sane & grounded and the remedy for every failure & every humiliation there is. I feel under-achieved too. I remembered that I used to envy the rich man's daughter in school, the friend I had who could afford everything which I couldn't. I am never exactly poor, but I still compared my life and what I didn't have to what they had. The branded designer clothes that I could not afford. The branded cars that they drove, that I didn't have. The glamorous job that they attained, which I failed to get. The big house that they are staying which is beyond my reach. The perfect life that they are leading. You know, things like this, eventually they drive you crazy! Because then you start to blame life, blame God, the universe, karma, and then you start counting your birth dates & birth times and to look at horoscopes & palm readings to find an excuse for your own miserable life.

The truth is, I have been feeling a bit…unfulfilled…of late. My life is truly a blessing in every way, GOD is in my life doing wonders...but they are also very, very time consuming and challenging. It has been getting easier and easier to lose sight of how lucky I am. I try not to think about it, about anything, about everything that's happening in my life right about now. Actually, that is a lie. I think about it all the time, every waking moment. It's part of me. It's what makes me who I am, and that has always been a problem and a solution in itself.

Maybe the first step is to face my dark side and acknowledge that it exists. I don’t think I’m allowed to be happy. It’s as though I’ve been slotted into this category on earth where I’m meant to be sad and miserable.

Well, tomorrow is another brand new day :) I will try again tomorrow. Good, Better, Best.

Protect Our Pockets

Recently, all of the major Telcos in Malaysia decide to impose a 6% tax on prepaid lines. Then it got rejected due to the government’s intervention…which I strongly support.

Why add the additional burden to the consumers? Especially now. When times are not that good. Majority of the prepaid users are students, children and those from the lower income group. These groups of customers pay as they use and the users have to pay upfront for it. If the 6% tax is imposed, the customers will have to pay more…a reload top-up of RM 5 will cost RM5.30, a reload top-up of RM10 will cost RM10.60, a reload top-up of RM30 will cost RM31.80, a reload top-up of RM50 will cost RM53 etc.

The only parties that will gained financially from all of this are the Telcos themselves because prepaid users represents the biggest customers group. According to national statistics – DIGI’s prepaid users represents a total of 83% out of their 9.3million customers, Celcom’s prepaid users represents a total of 77% out of their 11.7 million customers and Maxis have a total of 12.8 million customers of which 74% are prepaid users. That’s a lot of money to be gained. The Rakyat is already paying for all kinds of taxes – so please no more taxes! And paying taxes for prepaid lines is totally ridiculous!

War and Peace – 9/11

Remembering September 11 ten years on.
September 11, 2001 changed the world as we knew it.
Almost 3,000 people lost their lives, and many more were injured in the terrorist attacks that struck America. With the tenth anniversary of that terrible day approaching, tributes are being held across the US. I think it’s very important for everyone to reflect, to remember and to unite on their way of life and their relations with others.

10 years back, when the event took place – I can’t exactly remember where I was when the incident happens. Maybe I was at home. I don't know. I can't recall. I was 19 years old at that time and was still studying at Olympia College. But I take notice that for the past 10 years, this one single event has changed the world’s political, social, economic & religion landscape dramatically every year since then. And I find that there are more negative impacts out there. And there are more to come.

"I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world" – Socrates.

The Manhattan skyline before the terrorist attacks took place on the morning of September 11, 2001
More than 3,000 people were killed in the airline attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, and in the crash of a fourth hijacked plane in Pennsylvania

Desolation after the collapse of the 2 towers

The Tribute In Light Memorial has shone behind the Statue of Liberty since 2002

New York's skyline today

The White Knight

The Dark Knight is a 2008 superhero film directed, produced and co-written by my favorite film-maker Christopher Nolan. In 2008, I didn’t have the chance to watch this Batman movie; I only have the chance to catch it late last night. I think Christian Bale is the perfect Batman of all time, better than Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer & for sure George Clooney. Not only in the looks department but also in the acting prowess.

And Heath Ledger – is the perfect villain. The Joker even outshone the Batman & Two-Face in this movie. The late Heath Ledger plays the Joker’s character to perfection - a psychopathic, mass murdering, schizophrenic clown with zero empathy. And Heath even went one step further by generating a very distinctive voice and body posture for the Joker, unlike Jack Nicholson’s colorful character in Tim Burton’s 1989 Batman film. Heath's Joker is more scarry, more chilling. A great actor of his generation. Unfortunately, Heath Ledger’s life was cut short…he could have go on to make great movies. The Dark Knight - 2 thumbs up!

Simple Man Do Simple Job

Work Tales – no, I didn’t manage to close my portfolio positive for August MTD & YTD. I thought I would. I thought I can close at least August MTD positive and narrow the negative gap for YTD. Instead MTD was still negative and the gap for YTD just got bigger :( The culprits – it was due to the calendar effects because 2010 Raya was in the beginning of September (therefore, the Malay communities start to shop at the end of August) where as 2011 Raya was in the end of August (and the customers already bought their items in the middle of August) and my consignment counters in Subang store let me down by RM100k. It’s depressing not being able to achieve what I want. But that’s life I guess. But when you feel like you are working hard, negotiating hard with the suppliers to get the best price in town & the stocks, pushing the Store Team hard to do the sales by communicating with them on a everday basis and being a professional on the job, and then for some reason you are not getting the results that you want, it is difficult. I braved the rain and the cold, but somehow it was just so not worth it this time around. I’ve seen so many things, met many different people, experienced different emotions and grew different mindsets. So I’m working really hard by not putting the pressure on myself and the key is to keep the focus in whatever I’m doing. Therefore, I will try again tomorrow. Life is complicated and long.

If you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can't control it, try as you might
May you find that love that won't leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way
By Robbie Williams from Something Beautiful.

On another hand – Aurora has joined the French on Tuesday, yup; that nasty Aurora from M13…one of the strong pillars in Boss’s camp together with Thor, Joachim & Guillermo. This is going to be so interesting to watch :) Boss is still attached with the English, Thor is a GM in a NGO, Joachim have joined Watsons and Guillermo is with Houz Depot. If all 5 of them were to make a come back...wow...what a show it will be. But for now, one Aurora is already enough and is capable of creating fire for everyone :)

Nostalgia Bash

Madam Kwan’s, Empire Shopping Gallery – Madam Kwan originally started out as Sakura Restaurant along Jalan Imbi which was very famous during my parent’s dating era. A few years back, they rebranded and opened new outlets under the name of Madam Kwan's which offered old favorites from the Sakura menu plus new ones. What stood out with these restaurants were their interior designs as they were all done up in ultra modern contemporary and clean lines design. Suddenly, it was hip and happening again :)

I was looking forward to the dinner. Trix just came back from Singapore, so I organized a small dinner for Trix, with Miss Klein, Damian, Celtic, Mel Jag & Torres in attendance on Tuesday night. It was a fantastic gathering. At times during the dinner, I stop mid-sentence, I gaze across the table and think; these people are absolutely perfect for me. For my heart, my soul, my everything. I am truly blessed to have these friends in my life. We have a great time, good food, good laughs, good jokes, good catching-up with each other - basically everyone was taking it easy and having a good time together :) I just love it when we smile & laugh together. It’s adorable, infectious and it makes my heart crumble into a thousand happy pieces. I am inspired that day by lots of love, laughs, good times, thoughts, talents, silence, profundity, confidence, big hearts, passion and giving. There will be heaps of more ‘adventures’ ahead of us, I’m sure.

Giant Slayer

Liverpool was beaten by Stoke City 1 – 0 :( Aargh…we lost 3 full points, it was only Stoke City and yet we can lose to them. Or not, we would have secured those 10 important points and be on par with Chelsea. Other teams also buy strikers, we also buy strikers but why can’t our strikers be as good as Manchester City’s new boy Sergio Aguero or Wayne Rooney from Man U? Look at our Andy Carroll. He comes into Anfield with a very hefty price tag on him but until now, he has yet to make a very significant impact in scoring the goals. This year EPL race is definitely a very tight one. The real contenders that I see so far are Man U, Man City and Chelsea. The Reds need to get their acts together, win every games and not to drop a single point at all. It’s a neck-to-neck battle.

Lady Castle

I’ve got to jot this down. Log into YouTube and types in Public Bank’s 45th Anniversary and watch the video. 5 years down the road, when the bank is celebrating their 50th Anniversary, I can make a comparison between the two events and laugh myself out loud all over again. (This clip is very heavy for me to upload in here at this moment of time). I’m sure a lot of money has been invested into this event, the hall was huge, there were big flags & little flags everywhere and I think that the corporate figure himself is in too much of self-indulgent no?

Have you seen the video on YouTube on Public Bank’s 45th Anniversary grand dinner with Tan Sri Teh Hong Piow? If you have not, you have absolutely no idea what you’re missing. Your life is not complete until you’ve watched the extravagance that went into a bank’s birthday celebration.

If you’re stuck on Streamyx and not UniFI-ed like lucky me and the video doesn’t load no matter how many times you refreshed it, I’m going to do you a favor and describe to you in great detail what is in the 7min 50sec video.

Entrance shot zooms into The Mines Hotel so the event must have taken place there. Lots of colorful costumes — both cosplay and cultural. Entering a large hall with a stage up front and hundreds and hundreds of dinner tables at the back. Police escort with their big bikes enters the premise, their blue lights and sirens blaring. All dinner guests were standing up and waving their little flags in the air. A group of singers were at the stage with the costumed peps, singing these words to the tune of K’naan’s Waving Flag:

Oh oh oh oh, Welcome Tan Sri Teh
Oh oh oh oh, Welcome Tan Sri Teh
Cheering loudly for Tan Sri Teh, Man of honor, a living legend
Let’s rise up now and sing out loud, He’s our champion, make us feel proud
He gives us mission, gives us fire, Gives us vision, takes us higher
Celebration it surrounds us, Jubilation all around us
Forthy-fifth anniversary, We celebrate our victory
Come cherish this splendor night, Lift our hearts with great delight
Celebrate!
We’re getting stronger, We’re living in fame
We’re here together, Welcoming you dear Tan Sri Teh
Welcome Tan Sri Teh, Welcome Tan Sri Teh
Today is your day, We welcome you.

You get the gist…

Tan Sri Teh in his tux enters the premise standing at the back of a slow-moving white truck with the car number plate ‘PBB 3′ accompanied by 2 young ladies behind him. If you watch carefully, there is a chair in the truck too. A throne-shape-chair. More girls walked next to the truck. He waves to the 3,000 strong manically cheering employees.

It was like watching Singapore’s orchestrated National Day Parade. Ranks up there with any major games opening ceremony. Only thing that was missing was the torch of flame. All that’s lacking is the fireworks show.

Tan Sri Teh reached the stage. He looked around at his huge empire. Waved. Smiled as the last lyric of “WE WELCOME TAN SRI TEH HONG PIOW” was sung out.

An alien spaceship was lowered to the centre of the stage. Hot young girl bent down and told Tan Sri Teh about the alien spaceship. It came in peace and bearing a huge cake.

Tan Sri Teh was chauffeured nearer to the stage because the few steps he could have walked would have screwed up the choreography.

Then came the most awesome part: in a bid to welcome Tan Sri Teh to go on the stage, all costumed people went on their knees…both hands stretched out facing the Tan Sri as if asking for donations or holy water.

Like…OMG?

Okay I’m going to stop narrating because I just told you the best part.

Want to guess how much time the PBB employees took to learn the lyrics to the amended Waving Flag and Happy Birthday tunes? I don’t know but it must have been one minute too much. And I wonder who came up with the lyrics? The big man himself?

OK I’m jealous; I really wanted to be at the dinner, heh. It’s good to be Tan Sri Teh Hong Piow.

Oh look, fireworks. I wonder how their 50th Anniversay will be like...